Edolescence: Season 2
by Actionphoenix260
Summary: New Eds, New Schemes, New Adventures! Join the Eds and their friends as they deal with the wacky and extraordinary happenings of Peach Creek! Rated T for strong language, intense sequences of action and violence, and crude & sexual content. Discontinued due to a lack of interest.
1. Feel the Ed! pt 1

**Phoenix's note: **Been quite some time, huh guys? Well, that's what happens when life strikes you hard! Originally, I planned to put all Edolescence-based fics on an indefinite hiatus and thought about doing KND fics instead, but my heart just wasn't in it and also, because of life, a lot of things kept me from moving on with it. So, I will try and see how far I can get with Edolescence Season 2, but be warned! A lot you will recognize from the previous version and some will be strictly original! Also, I made an error at the season 1 finale of Edolescence. I said I chose the song "Headstrong" by Trapt to be the Edolescence theme song, but in the end, it says the remixed theme of Buffy the Vampire Slayer was used as the theme. Due to technical issues, I couldn't go back to fix it, but I did want to tell you that this was an error and that the true theme is Headstrong by Trapt.

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><p><strong>EPISODE 11: FEEL THE ED!<strong>

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><p>The screen opened up on one beautiful Saturday evening in the cul-de-sac before it transitioned to the back of Rolf's house, where Rolf himself, shirtless, was seen frantically pouring three barrels of purple cologne on himself, obviously to hide some kind of strong smell with an even stronger one! When he was finished, he tossed the last barrel to the side, "There! Now one shall accuse Rolf of carrying the odor of sweat and int-"<p>

"Yo, Rolfie? You ready or what?" Rolf was interrupted by the sound of Kevin's voice. Standing in front of Rolf's house was Kevin, Nate, Cody, and Jonny (without Plank), who each wore their outside attire from the Christmas special.

"Yeah, dude!" Cody rolled his eyes. "I wanna get this day done with!"

"Me too!" Nate added. "Quicker it's done, the quicker I can wrap my hands around Brookie's tight little ass to get warm!"

"_Way_ too much information, Nate!" Jonny smirked.

Just then, Rolf, wearing his wool-coat, drove out into the street on his tractor and hand-signaled for his friends to get on board.

"Come, everyone!" Rolf said cheerfully. "We must make haste if we wish to converse with our fellow brethren before today's merciless judging, yes?"

"Wow!" Cody and the others climbed into the tractor. "I actually understood ya this time, man!"

Kevin suddenly started smelling the air in Rolf's direction, "Ugh…what's with the cologne, Rolf? You got some out-of-country date with some dudette or somethin'?"

Rolf didn't respond. He simply sweated nervously for a couple of seconds before he drove off-screen.

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><p>In Eddy's garage, Ed and Eddy himself, both wearing their winter attire from the Christmas special, were leaning against the latter's car waiting for Edd. Ed kept busy by looking through his Iphone, but Eddy was looking quite impatient.<p>

"C'mon, Sockhead!" Eddy huffed. "The other guys are probably already there!"

"Honestly, Eddy!" Edd walked into the garage via Eddy's house and, like his friends, was wearing his winter attire from the Christmas special. "Will you ever relinquish your capacity for impatience?"

"Will you ever learn to eat steak faster? Or do anything faster?" Eddy retorted. "Do I hafta get Maggie to come in here and flash her knockers at you so you can go faster…again?"

"No way!" Ed shouted randomly. "Hey guys, did you know that members of the Death Shades were said to be spotted in Cherry Falls?"

"Why so strict and interested about by natural velocity, Eddy?" Edd wondered.

"Ain't it obvious?" Eddy replied. "We got that physical fitness exam today in the gym and half of its got to do with speed! If you flunk, which you might, I'll hafta pull some strings to get Braddock off your ass…again!"

"Why're we doin' it on a Saturday, again?" Ed put his Iphone away. "I forget!"

"'Cause Lumpy, for the fourteenth time, the Board of Idiots tried to get us to come back to school yesterday and cut our Christmas break a day short just to do this stupid exam 'cause we were already late in the year doin' it! When some of us ain't show up yesterday, they moved it to today and threatened to fail us for next semester if we ain't show up! Worst of it, though! We gotta spend the night over there with nothin' but our clothes! Buncha Assclowns!"

"Oh, my!" Edd covered his mouth. "And I suppose it would be out of the question to inform them of my 72 hours of unwell-"

"Yeah it would!" Eddy interrupted.

"Who all's gonna be there?" Ed asked.

"Well, let's see. Aside from us, Kev, Rolfie-boy, Cody, and Nate…our women!" Eddy folded his arms with a smirk on his face.

"My gravy-cake's there, too?" Ed smiled excitedly.

"As is my turtledove?" Edd joined in.

"And _my _blonde sweetheart, who's got boobs bigger than both of your girls!" Eddy raised his left eyebrow. "But hey! Let's get the hell outta here! I'm sick of improvisin' for this scene!"

The three Eds got into the car and drove off to their school for their physical fitness exam.

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><p>The screen transitioned to the girls' locker room, where the bombshells were seen hanging up their winter attire while wearing their workout clothing. Holly had her hair in a bun and was wearing her blue sports bra and black jogging pants. Maggie had her hair in a ponytail and was wearing a pink sports bra and black jogging pants as well. Nazz had her hair in a ponytail, but was upwards like how it briefly was in <strong>Hanky Panky Hullabaloo<strong>. She wore her purple sports bra and, like her friends, black jogging pants.

"You can't be serious!" Maggie looked over at Nazz in shock after hearing her speak about something surprising. "That is _so _not right!"

"Like, that's exactly what I said!" Nazz continued.

"I'm totally about to freak out!" Holly added. "The Sugar Bar is almost always packed and now they're gonna close it down? Why?"

"Well, I'm guessing we were their most frequent customers and ever since we started chilling at the X-House, we haven't needed to go." Maggie suggested.

"Still, I wish we gotta do something." Holly punched the lockers. "Or else they'll turn it into one of those lame, tacky voodoo shops with those owners who start rumors about Peach Creek being cursed with dark spirits or whatever!"

Nazz and Maggie looked at Holly emotionless before they looked at each other.

"Think you've been spending too much time with Ed, sweetie." Nazz responded.

The bombshells walked out of the locker room and into the immensely large gymnasium, which, for the purpose of the physical fitness exam, was outfitted to look like a basic training camp despite the fact that it was _inside_! The boys were on the north wall as they stared at the apparent fitness course. Eddy, Kevin, Ed, and Nate were the only ones that were wearing their usual attire. Edd was wearing a white T-shirt and black jogging shorts. Jonny was wearing a white V-neck T-shirt, blue jogging shorts, and his usual sneakers. Cody was wearing a white T-shirt and gray sweatpants. Rolf was wearing a white muscle T-shirt and wool sweatpants. As the girls walked over to them, they started to flinch and hold their respective noses in disgust when they stood next to Rolf.

"Welcome to our world, babes!" Kevin coughed.

"Hope ya sweat some of that crap off, Stretch!" Eddy wheezed. "I ain't even gonna make it to the tire-jumpin' thing if that shit gets to me!"

"Ah yes! Rolf's masculine fragrance is beautifully powerful, yes?" Rolf stuck his chest out proud.

"Hey, where's everybody else?" Nate asked. "Gettin' high off shrubs?"

"We're it, dude!" Cody replied. "We're the half that didn't show up yesterday! The half with lives! No offense to yer girlfriend, though!"

"So, Tori, Brooke, Twan, Sarah, Jimmy, Plank, and even the Skankers-" Maggie added.

"All came and did this retarded exam yesterday so they'd have the weekends to themselves!" Jonny interrupted.

"Well, that's seriously messed up!" Holly frowned. "I mean, who're we supposed to talk and tell our problems to?"

"Why not our men?" Maggie pointed to Ed, Edd, and Eddy.

"Sorry, girls, but everything after "talk and tell our problems to" was just yuk! Yuk! Yuk!" Ed said loudly.

"That is no way to respond to a female, Ed!" Edd chastised his friend. "Especially if one of them is your own!"

"Hey, like, how come you four aren't wearing your gym attire?" Nazz asked Eddy, Ed, Kevin, and Nate.

"Bad enough they got us comin' to school in midday on a weekend, sweetheart!" Eddy folded his arms. "Now they wanna tell us what to wear? Hell, no!"

Just then, a man walked out of the coach's office. It wasn't Braddock because this man was Black-American, in his early-to-mid twenties, stood 6'2, was muscular, and was wearing the attire of a marine.

"_Yo, who's the Jarhead?" _Nate whispered to Jonny.

"YOU GOT SOMETHIN' TO SAY TO ME, BOY?" The marine suddenly zipped up to Nate's face. "SAY IT OUTLOUD SO WE CAN HEAR AND I CAN PUNCH YOU IN THE STOMACH IN FRONT OF YER FRIENDS IF IT'S NEGATIVE!"

"Um…sir, who are you?" Nazz asked.

"I AM YOUR SUBSTITUTE COACH GAVIN PIERCE! FORMER PHYSICAL FITNESS COACH FOR S. RALSTON HIGH AND OSWALD REID HIGH!" The marine (Pierce) replied. "YOUR PANSY COACH BRADDOCK AIN'T FEEL LIKE BEIN' HERE TO EDUCATE YOU YOUNG PUNKS, SO I'M DOIN' IT FOR 'IM!"

"Did-did he just call me, "punk"? To my face?" Eddy looked at Kevin angered.

"I'LL DO IT AGAIN, PUNK! PUNK! PUNK! PUNK!" Pierce got in Eddy's face!

"_Geez, what a hard-ass!"_ Kevin whispered to his friends before Pierce punched him in the stomach!

"THAT WASN'T OUTLOUD, BOY! NOW GET THE HELL UP OFF OF THAT FLOOR AND LISTEN UP! ALL OF YA!" Pierce pointed to the kids. "I DON'T TOLERATE FAILURE! SO IF ANY OF YOU PUNKS FAIL ANY PART OF THIS EXAM, THE BOARD WILL BE ON MY ASS AND I'LL _STAY_ ON YOURS UNTIL YOU REACH COLLEGE!"

"Any part?" Holly asked. "You mean this isn't-"

"THIS IS ONLY A PORTION OF YOUR EXAM, YOUNG LADY!" Pierce continued. "THE FIRST PORTION IS ON THE ROOF! THE SECOND ONE IS IN THE WEIGHT ROOM! YOU'LL HAVE TWENTY MINUTES TO SCARF DOWN SOME PROTEIN IN THE CAFETERIA! AFTER THAT, YOU'LL COME BACK HERE AND COMPLETE THIS OBSTACLE COURSE THREE TIMES! AND THEN, BEFORE YOU HEAD HOME TOMORROW, YOU'LL RUN SIX LAPS AROUND THE BUILDING! NO LESS, NO MORE! NOW, GET YOUR YOUNG ASSES TO THE SCHOOL ROOF! NOW! NOW! NOW!"

All eleven teenagers frantically dashed past Pierce and through the double doors as the screen faded to black.

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><p>The screen reopened on the school's roof, where the kids could be seen standing several feet away from six huge cannon-like machines with the words "Dodgefire" painted on each of their right sides. Pierce stood behind each of the cannons and held a pen-like device in his left hand.<p>

"Perhaps I should have spoken with my agent about that drama film rather than return for this season." Edd shuddered nervously.

"Drama?" Maggie held onto Edd's arm. "You're kidding! My agent was telling me about an action movie that needs more actresses!"

"Well, mine was tellin' me I better ask for a raise on this show since I gotta do all my own stunts!" Eddy folded his arms.

"Get quiet!" Pierce shouted. "Time for your first obstacle!"

"_Least he, like, lowered his voice!" _Nazz whispered to Kevin, who replied _"Damn right!"_

"Here, your stamina, reflexes, speed, and agility will be tested when you're shot at by thick-ass dodgeballs!" Pierce explained, forcing everyone, particularly Edd, to develop bug-eyes!

"D-dodgeball?" Edd gulped, managing to keep calm only when Maggie gripped his hand.

"And why're on the roof, again?" Cody asked flabbergasted.

"Your durability needs testin' too, boy!" Pierce replied. "If ya get hit, let's see if you can at least stay on the roof!"

"_Are you fucking kidding me?"_ Holly whispered to Nate.

"Ready…set…DODGE!" Pierce pressed the button on his device before all six machines started firing big red rubberballs at the kids!

Due to their athletic backgrounds, Eddy, Ed, Nate, and Kevin easily dodged each and every ball that came their way! Whether they ducked, jumped, front-flipped, or back-flipped, none of the balls succeeded in striking these four! As for the others, the results were mixed. Being adept gymnasts, the bombshells used their already existent agility to dodge every ball that came their way, but had closer calls than Eddy and the others. Cody and Edd, however, had to get creative and run around in circles and occasionally jump to avoid the oncoming balls! Rolf on the other hand, ducked a few times and used his shoe to swat other balls away!

"Away with you, cursed ricocheting orbs of abnormal proportions!" Rolf shouted with a touch of fear!

"Hmm, gonna hafta turn up the heat in this damn kitchen!" Pierce pressed the button on his device two more times before the balls started flying at the eleven teens twice as fast!

"What the-?" Eddy quickly jumped up in the air while Ed, Nate, and Kevin started getting pummeled by dodgeballs and were forced to run around in circles like Cody and Edd! The Bombshells, not being as used to rough dodgeball play like the boys, ended up doing the same! Eddy landed just in time to get hit by three dodgeballs before he caught the fourth one and began using it as a shield against all the other oncoming ones! Just then, the last six balls he deflected plugged up all of the dodgeball machines, forcing them to build up before…KABLAM! They exploded right in front of Pierce's face, much to his anger!

"What?" Eddy smiled nonchalantly! "You coulda killed us!"

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><p>The screen slowly transitioned to the weight room, but despite what the name suggests, the weights were nowhere to be found! In their place were a dozen punching bags that looked as if they were stuffed with something much harder than stuffing! The eleven teens stood there and listened to Pierce talk about what he wanted them to do next.<p>

"Here in your next obstacle, your gonna push your strength to the limit! In each of these sacks are pieces of enots! You will punch these bags until they either fall or at least two enots drop out!"

"Enots? Have you gone insane?" Edd asked blatantly before Pierce glared and him and he nervously gulped!

"What're enots, Coach?" Jonny asked.

"Stones!" Maggie explained. "But they're like dirt stones! Small ones are soft enough to crumble in your hand, but bigger ones can break your fists depending on _how_ big! And by the way, enots is actually "stone" spelled backwards."

"No more talking! Get to work!" Pierce shouted yet again!

BOOM! "Already done, Coach!" Ed shouted off-screen before Pierce and the other kids looked at him and saw that he had just now knocked two punching bags through the walls with relative ease!

"Uh…great job, freakshow kid!" Pierce scratched his head flabbergasted. "Go…sit somewhere 'till your fellow soldiers are done! Well, what're you waitin' for, the season finale? GET GOIN'!"

Annoyed and angered, the ten teenagers began punching and kicking their respective punching bags while Ed leaned against the wall and drunk hot-tamale gravy (**All Eds are off**) in a teacup as he watched his friends. Martial Artists Eddy and Nazz found this obstacle a tad challenging, as they had never had to hit a surface until it collapsed before. Most of the time, the surface did so with one or two strikes. Rolf had better luck than any of his friends (aside from Ed), as he managed to punch a hole through his punching bag and cause all of the enots to pour out onto the floor!

"This reminds Rolf of the flesh-striking regimen he had to undergo in his youth to receive a banquet all to himself, yes?" Rolf stuck his chest out proud.

"THAT'S TWO PUNKS DOWN AND NINE TO GO!" Pierce shouted. "HARDER! FASTER!"

"That's what she said!" Eddy joked before all of the boys and Holly laughed heartily while Nazz and Maggie rolled their eyes in annoyance!

"YOU THINK THIS WHOLE THING IS A JOKE, SPIKEY?" Pierce ran up behind Eddy, who retained a smirk on his face as he continued to strike his bag. "YOU GOT SIX SECONDS TO GIMME SOME RESULTS, BOY!"

"Wow! Great motivation!" Eddy rolled his eyes before he kicked the punching bag upwards and it snapped off of the rope when it descended!

"By the way, _Coach_, only my dad calls me "Spike"! 'Kay?" Eddy slapped Pierce on the left arm as he walked passed him, angering him!

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><p>The screen then transitioned to the cafeteria at nightfall, where all eleven teens were seen standing in front of Pierce, who pointed to a table with food covered by a large white cloth. Nazz, Kevin, Maggie, Cody, Holly, Edd, Jonny, and Nate looked exhausted after their last obstacle while Ed, Eddy, and Rolf were energetic!<p>

"All right, now here's your spread, punks!" Pierce yanked the cloth off of the table and showed the kids their "spread". Which consisted of only eleven tall mugs of protein shakes! The kids stared at the table silently until…

"The fuck is that?" Nate pointed.

"Steak, hamburgers, fried chicken, ribs, meat loaf, turkey, and rat!" Pierce explained.

"RAT?" Cody, Nazz, Holly, Maggie, Nate, and Kevin repeated in disgust!

"Uh…you wouldn't happen to have a veggie version of that stuff would you?" Jonny asked timidly. "I don't eat, or drink, meat!"

"More for the son of a former shepherd and present fisherman, yes?" Rolf immediately guzzled down two mugs of protein before he licked his lips satisfied.

"I want'chu all asleep in fifteen minutes, got it?" Pierce pointed at the teens sternly. "Boys in the theatre tech booth! Girls in the vice coach's lounge! I'll be in the teacher's lounge eatin' good-tastin' crap!"

"Fifteen minutes?" Eddy scoffed off Pierce's demand with a smile. "You said twenty earlier, but I guess you were barkin' longer than I thought or cared to pay attention to!"

"BOY, YOU WANNA GIMME THIRTY, RIGHT NOW?" Pierce shouted in Eddy's face, but the boy wasn't intimidated.

"Uh, no!" Nazz yanked Eddy off-screen. "He's, like, totally goin' to bed in fifteen! Aren't you?" Nazz looked at Eddy sternly.

"Depends! You comin'?" Eddy wrapped his arms around Nazz's waist.

"HEY! HEY! HEY!" Pierce forced the two to relinquish their affectionate grips. "SAVE THAT LOVEY-DOVEY SHIT FOR WHEN YA GO HOME TOMORROW! NOW, EAT OR SLEEP! I'M HITTIN' THE SHOWERS!"

Pierce walked through the double-doors and towards the boys' locker room.

"Showers? You ain't did shi-" Eddy had his mouth covered by Nazz, who warned, "Dude…sweetie, I know you have immature and rebellious habits, but that guy is real powerful! He'll fail you and probably jump you, too!"

"Hmm, you mean he'll try!" Eddy raised his left eyebrow.

"No way!" Ed's excited outburst caused all of his friends to look at him as he looked at his Iphone. "Guys! In the news, it's said that members of the Death Shades have escaped police custody and hijacked a car that was abandoned just a half mile away from Peach Creek!"

"Since when do you give seven shits about the news, monobrow?" Eddy smirked.

"Who're the Death Shades?" Holly walked on-screen.

"Small terrorist group of assclowns in their early to mid twenties! Formed thirteen years back!" Eddy answered. "'Course, lotta people think they don't exist 'cause they ain't never identify anyone in that group and snatched a chance to talk about it!"

"Well, how come we're just now hearing about them?" Nazz asked.

"Well, as rumors got it, they trashed a section of Kiwi Springs in '06 and when they barely got away from the SWAT guys, I'm guessin' they laid low from then on out!"

"You mean from then on here, Eddy!" Ed corrected. "If they're in Peach Creek after getting away in Cherry Falls, then that means they're still active!"

"How would you even know that?" Nazz asked. "How can you look at a person and tell that they're the type of guy to shoot people and blow things up?"

"Sixth sense, Nazz!" Holly replied sincerely. "You can almost read their minds!"

"There's only one way to tell if a guy is a member of the Shades!" Eddy explained. "Tattoos!"

"Tattoos?" The girls repeated confused.

"Yeah!" Nate suddenly walked in on the conversation. "All Shades guys have a red skull-in-crossbones tattoo! It's their calling card! Like herpes for a prostitute!"

"Yeah, but there are certain places for certain guys to put those tattoos!" Eddy continued. "The low guys, meanin' the guys who just run around killin' everyone, keep 'em on their necks while the high guys, the schemers, either have 'em on the chest or the back! The low guys gotta put make-up on so they don't get their asses kicked in public!"

"And that's what makes things pretty fucked up!" Nate added. "They could be anybody! Hell, Eddy! Your brother could be one of 'em!"

"Not a chance!" Eddy shook his head. "He's a psychotic jerk-off, but killin' ain't his style!"

"All right, guys!" Kevin walked up to the five. "I'm gonna crash before that dick comes back in here and starts tellin' us to clean under the tables or some other crap!"

"Good idea! Yeah!" Cody, Nazz, Edd, Holly, Jonny, Maggie, and Nate agree.

"Rolf will remain here to finish your succulent liquefied flesh meal, yes?" Rolf guzzled down two more mugs of liquefied protein!

"Knock yourself out, man!" Cody gulped disgusted.

"What's with ya today, Rolfie-boy?" Eddy placed his hand on Rolf's shoulder. "You've been all excited and smiley since the episode started! You had sex with someone last night or somethin'?"

"WHAT?" Rolf spat out the next mug he guzzled down before he shouted, "WHO DARES TO DESTROY ROLF'S STATUS BY ACCUSING HIM OF SHARING HIS BED WITH-"

"Whoa, Stretch!" Eddy interrupted calmly. "I was kiddin'! Chill!"

All of his friends looked at him and wondered why he went in a berserker rage like that.

"Perhaps Rolf has consumed too much of this delectable flesh and requires rest, no?" Rolf walked towards his friends.

"Each of us requires slumber for tomorrow morning's task, Rolf!" Edd pointed out.

"You guys coming?" Maggie asked Ed and Eddy.

"Nah, we're gonna go to the vending machine around the corner and get dinner there!" Eddy replied.

"All right, good night, guys!" Holly and Ed kissed each other good night before Nazz and Eddy did the same!

Kevin and the others walked through the double doors on the opposing side of the ones Pierce went through while Eddy and Ed went through the main double doors of the cafeteria.

"Race ya, Lumpy!" Eddy and Ed dashed down the hallway and went left passed the teacher's lounge, which was partially cracked. Ed noticed this and ran back on-screen to look through the crack. With one eye, he saw a shirtless Pierce on the phone with his back facing the camera.

"Yeah, these kids might have lips you wanna cut off, but they're definitely good for somethin'!" Pierce spoke into the phone with a rather intelligent tone in his voice in contrast to the loud marine voice he uttered all day. "Soon as this exam thing is done with, we're ridin' out to ya! But I might need two more muscleheads since two of 'em look like they've been bred to kick ass!"

Pierce hung up the phone and as he put his shirt back on, he turned towards Ed and, much to the latter's shock, revealed that he had a huge red skull-in-crossbones tattoo on his chest! Ed developed horrified bug-eyes and knowing what this meant, dashed down the hallway to find Eddy.

Eddy was leaning against a vending machine as he munched on chocolate peanut-butter cups until Ed ran up to him and started stuttering incoherently!

"Breathe, you idiot! Breathe!" Eddy slapped Ed to get him to calm down.

"Okay! Okay! Okay!" Ed took a deep breath before he uttered in a low voice, "Coach Pierce…is a leader of the Death Shades! I saw the red skull-in-crossbones tattoo on his chest and I heard him saying that when the exams' done with, he's gonna take us to some guy and if we don't cooperate, he's gonna kill us!"

"Seriously, Ed!" Eddy chuckled. "This is why you need to stay with all your sci-fi crap, man! You're a lot less weird in your natural habitat! Heh! Heh! Heh!"

Ed looked at Eddy with pure sternness and sincerity. Eddy, having been trained to see past facial expressions, gave Ed a long look in the eyes before he uttered, "Fuck. You're not kiddin' are ya, Fuller?"

Ed shook his head from left to right in response. Eddy was internally just as horrified as Ed was when he (Eddy) learned this. But externally, he was angered that he had been deceived this entire time. Acting on this, he told Ed as the camera zoomed in on him, "Get Double D and meet me at the back of the school!"

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><p>Only moments later, behind the school, Ed pulled his left ear EEnE-style before his eyes projected a screen on the wall that depicted everything Ed just saw and heard. Despite Ed only seeing it with one eye, the entire thing was more than clear enough for Eddy and Edd to comprehend. When the "projection" ended, Edd's disgust and anger was on par with that of his fellow Eds.<p>

"How despicably spiteful!" Edd growled. "A terrorist who targets adolescent minors!"

"What do we do guys?" Ed asked gravely.

"Whadoya think, big guy?" Eddy looked at Ed just as solemnly. "We're gonna find out who this loser really is and stop 'im!"

"I share your thirst for justice and desire to be rid of this agitator, gentlemen but wouldn't it be more effective to inform the authorities?" Edd suggested.

"Why? So he and all his other pals can outrun the police here like they did at Cherry Falls?" Ed justified. "No! Eddy's right! Let's find out who this guy is by beating him up!"

"Got a better idea, Ed!" Eddy cracked his knuckles. "Rebellion!"

The Eds huddled up to discuss the plan before the screen faded to black.

* * *

><p>The screen reopened on the obstacle course in the gym a mere several hours later (which meant that the time was around "5:00 a.m."), where all eleven teens were seen on the north wall as "Coach Pierce" spoke to them. The Eds were the only ones wide-awake while the other kids were yawning, stretching, and barely staying awake by eating large sugar cubes given to them by Rolf.<p>

"WAKE UP, YA BIG BABIES!" Pierce yelled, successfully awakening them!

"_Gotta give the guy credit!" _Eddy whispered. _"He's pretty damn convincin'!" _

"WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT WHISPERIN', PUNK?" Pierce got in Eddy's face again.

"What did I say about sayin' "punk" to my face?" Eddy folded his arms with a smile, causing his friends (not including Ed and Edd) and Nazz to gasp surprised.

"THAT'S IT! JUST FOR THAT, YOU'RE DOING TWICE AS MANY ROUNDS ON THIS DAMN OBSTACLE COURSE AS YOUR FRIENDS!" Pierce spat in Eddy's face as he spoke. "NOW, ALL OF YOU! GET MOVIN' IF YOU WANNA GO HOME! NOW! NOW! NOW!"

While everyone else was putting effort into the course, the Eds (mostly Eddy) were merely pretending to do it as part of the plan. On the tire-jumping portion, Eddy simply ran across the fourteen tires while Cody, Jonny, and Kevin actually stepped in them as they ran and the former two fell down! Rather than climbing on a very tall net like Nazz and Rolf, Ed simply super-jumped over the whole thing and landed on the other side as he continued forward! Maggie and Edd were attempting to balance themselves on an unnaturally thin metallic beam with the former having more luck than her boyfriend! Just then, Edd fell groin-first on the beam and landed face first on the floor, ensnaring the attention of Maggie and his fellow Eds!

"Edd! Honey!" Maggie dropped to Edd's side. "Are you okay?"

"I don't believe so…turtledove!" Edd replied in pain as Ed and Eddy ran up to him.

"COACH!" Eddy yelled convincingly before Pierce came to him. "Coach, Double D hurt his two round boys!"

"Is that right, kid?" Pierce asked gruffly.

"Unfortunately!" Edd stood up with the help of Pierce and Maggie.

"Head to the cafeteria! You're finished here!" Pierce ordered.

"You are most gracious, sir!" Edd walked off-screen holding his groin as he winked at his fellow Eds, implying that the whole thing was an act.

"_Your turn, pal!" _Eddy punched Ed in the arm. _"Make me proud!" _

"GET BACK TO WORK, PUNKS!" Pierce's yell startled Ed into running off-screen to finish the course while Eddy stood there with a smile. "JUST 'CAUSE YOU HELPED YOUR FELLOW MAN DON'T MEAN YER EXCUSED! YOU OWE ME FIVE MORE ROUNDS, BOY!"

"AND JUST CAUSE YOU'RE A COACH DON'T MEAN YOU CAN CALL ME PUNK…SIR!" Eddy cackled before he ran off-screen.

The bombshells successfully got past the tire-jumping obstacle while Eddy was jumping on high and low bars rather than jumping _over _them! Kevin, Jonny, and Rolf were crawling under a small tight surface and ended up getting stuck underneath in the process! Ed jumped over a previously off-screen brick wall, but he tripped and fell on his face under the watchful eyes of Pierce, who angrily hand-signaled him to join Edd in the cafeteria when he (Pierce) saw that he (Ed) was "seriously hurt"!

"Whoa, yeah! I got this now!" Cody jumped over the tall bar and landed feet-first on the floor before he dove underneath the low surface he had to crawl under! As he crawled under it, however, Eddy, on his fourth round, was crawling _over_ the surface!

"What's up, Pres?" Eddy greeted Cody casually before he (Eddy) was suddenly yanked off-screen by Pierce!

"I AM SICK AND TIRED OF YOU YA STUPID-" Pierce was interrupted when Eddy shoved a huge sock in his mouth (**Robbin' Ed**), which forced him to drop him!

"Shoulda told'gu I'd do that the next time ya called me "punk"!" Eddy raised his left eyebrow!

Fed up with Eddy's rebelliousness, Pierce exploded, "YOU FUCKING LITTLE DIPSHIT ASSWIPE! TAKE YOUR ASS TO THE BASEMENT TILL IT'S TIME FOR YOU TO GET THE HELL BACK HOME! AND I'M FAILING YOU TIMES FUCKING INFINITY!"

Nazz gasped before the rest of her friends followed suit. Unscathed by Pierce's yelling, Eddy casually walked out of the gym to, unbeknownst to everybody else, join his two best buds in completing their plans.

"All right! All of you! Outside! Now!" Pierce demanded. "If any of you decide to follow in your friend's footsteps, you'll get it worse than he will! _Comprende_?"

"Y-Y-Yes, sir!" Kevin, Cody, Nate, Jonny, and Rolf shook their heads "yes". Maggie and Holly placed their respective hands on Nazz's shoulders as she worried for her man.

"Good! Now, get going!" Pierce urged, driving the seven remaining teenagers to bust through the gym's door leading outside. He then took out his cell phone and called the same person he talked to last night.

* * *

><p>In the dark computer lab, Ed and Eddy sat behind Edd as he sat at an advanced laptop.<p>

"You guys gotta start doin' your own stunts more often!" Eddy chuckled.

"All right, we know that for obvious reasons this terrorist has invented the alternative persona of Physical Educations Instructor Gavin Pierce!" Edd started. "But what we lack knowledge of is his true identity! Without that, we have no means of turning him over to the authorities once we subdue him!"

"And we ain't got a lot of time since he only wants the guys to run six laps!" Eddy poked himself in the head to think about what could be done. "I got it! Ed, can you print out a picture of "Pierce" so Sockhead can try and match it-"

"-To someone of a significant criminal background!" Edd finished. "But how will Ed be able to do such a thing?"

A light bulb appeared over Ed's head before he flinched and it transformed into a camera reminiscent of the one Eddy had in **Quick-shot Ed**. It printed out a picture of Pierce before Edd grabbed it and placed it on the laptop's scanner and he started doing something off-screen with the computer. Seconds later, as Eddy and Ed remained speechless, Edd uttered, "Oh my! So, this is who he truly is!"

"Make it full-screen, Double D!" Ed requested.

"As you wish!" Edd clicked a few keys before Pierce's picture took up half the screen along with an article under his true name, which was "Ashton Teague. A former contract killer from Lemon Brooke. This article states that despite his age, he has killed over three-dozen people in one year. When he was subdued by a local Police Sergeant with assistance from a man who has been tracking him for three years, he was sentenced to execution. However, due to an explosion in the prison wing that he was being held within, he never saw that day!"

"Prisons ain't known for bein' anywhere near explosives and if Teague's showin' his face around here today, that means the bastard's got a guardian angel who's seen him in action!" Eddy deduced.

"A guardian angel?" Ed scoffed. "Try a Devil master looking for a protégé, Eddy! A Devil Master known to both you and I as…"

"The supreme leader of the Death Shades!" Ed and Eddy said in unison.

"Good lord!" Edd gulped gravely.

Suddenly, the lights clicked on in the computer lab at the same time some hands could be heard clapping! The Eds looked up and saw, to their horror, it was the man they thought was named Pierce standing in the middle of the doorway. But having now done their research, they now know the man as Ashton Teague!

"Sneaky, sneaky boys!" Ashton smirked. "Sorry to say I now gotta make ya wish you went along with the exam like your friends! Least then you woulda kept your blood!"

"H-how-" Edd started to sweat.

"Did you really think I was just another retarded terrorist who blows people and things up?" Ashton smirked wickedly. "I heard your chinless friend breathing while I was on the phone last night when he saw my tattoo and I knew there was no way you weren't up to somethin' when you two boys "got hurt" on the course! The mistake your spiky-haired friend made was being extra naughty when he should've known that I know you three are thicker than a fatass sumo-girl!"

"Just what the hell are you doin' in Peach Creek, anyway?" Eddy stood up angered.

"Talent scoutin'!" Ashton replied. "Y'see, I'm what'chu call a "labor enforcer". I go around special places lookin' for special younger people to do jobs a lot of our other guys can't! And recently, the big guy told me to head on down here 'cause the good-looking kids actually work hard and _still _have a lot of energy!"

"So ya came here to find your boss a buncha slaves and used the physical fitness exam as a cover-up?" Eddy realized.

"Good job…punk!" Ashton smirked. "I added my own spin on it 'cause I wanted to have fun with you kids by screwin' with ya! And I wanted to get as many kids as possible in on this labor plan, but since you three learned some scathing things just now, can't say it's possible that I can keep you on! Sorry!"

Ashton suddenly snapped his fingers before six unarmed men walked into the room wearing all black casual clothing and black sunglasses!

"Do not believe that your objective will bear fruit, Mr. Teague!" Edd folded his arms. "Because by this point, our friends most certainly have finished their run and will return indoors to confront and aid us in suppressing you and each of your ruffians!"

"Oh, damn, I knew I forgot to tell you kids somethin'!" Ashton snapped his fingers sarcastically. "I cut their lap-runnin' time in half so I could cram in this little meeting here! They're all headed home right now and as soon as night hits, these six boys here will pick 'em all up and take 'em down to the boss himself! But first, we gotta tie up the three loose ends in the room!"

Edd gulped and took a step back as the six men trudged menacingly towards him and his friends.

"Kick off the season with a physical conflict, eh? Cool with me!" Eddy hopped on the table before he ordered, "ED! SHOCKWAVE!"

Ed clapped his hands together once before he created a shockwave powerful enough to send all seven men flying out of the room and further into the hallways, where they landed!

"Son of a-" Ashton rubbed his head as he looked up and saw the Eds dashing out of the lab as they made a right and collectively yelled, "RUNAWAY!"

"COME ON! WE'LL HEAD 'EM OFF!" Ashton and his gang got up and sprinted further down the hallway in an attempt to foil the Eds' attempts at escaping with their lives! As the Eds ran down more hallways and stairwells, Ashton and his men took the shortcut in the elevator! The trio then managed to reach the first floor's entrance doors, but couldn't get through them because they were locked!

"ED! BUST THE FUCKIN' DOORS!" Eddy screamed an order.

"NO! YOU'LL BE DECIMATING SCHOOL PROPERTY!" Edd shouted.

"WE'RE ABOUT TO GET WASTED BY TERRORISTS AND YOU'RE WORRIED ABOUT SOME STUPID-ASS GLASS?" Eddy yelled.

"DYING AND NOT BEING WITH HOLLY BAD FOR ED!" Ed struck one entrance door, but all of the doors broke with the exception of the one he struck!

Not caring, the Eds zipped out of the school and towards Eddy's Camaro in the lot!

"Lucky car at twelve o' clock!" Ed shouted happily!

The Eds planned to escape in Eddy's car and deal with the terrorists later, but fate would not let that happen, as one of Ashton's six men jumped up in the air and was prepared to pounce on Eddy!

"Ugly-ass shadow terrorist at 6! Spread out!" Eddy lunged passed the camera to avoid the plummeting terrorist, who subsequently fell facefirst onto the ground, but nonetheless got right back up!

"KILL 'EM ALL! Always wanted to say that!" Ashton chuckled wickedly. Obeying their superior, the six broke off into twos in hopes of overpowering each Ed!

"Double D!" Ed thought up a rifle-like metallic weapon and tossed it to Edd, knowing that his friend didn't stand a physical chance against his enemies. "Stagger-inducing rifle!"

"Oh, thank-YAH!" Edd ran away from his two terrorist foes, who gave chase!

"You're not blowin' us up, Bin Laden wannabes!" Ed jumped over one terrorist's head before he punched the other one in the stomach, picked him up by the back of his head and legs, and broke his back by slamming him hard on his left thigh before he tossed him off-screen and dealt with the other terrorist!

Eddy didn't find a problem with battling his two terrorist enemies. When one tried to strike him, he forearm-blocked it, karate-chopped him on certain points on his neck, side, and stomach regions (rendering him paralyzed), and knocked him unconscious with a blow to the face, causing Ashton to turn his attention especially on him (Eddy)! Dealing with the other one, Eddy ducked his haymaker, front-kicked him in the groin, delivered a hammerfist to the back of his head, and knocked him unconscious with a knee-kick to the face. Eddy then glared at Ashton and walked towards him, intent on engaging him in a fight himself (Eddy).

"Whoa!" Ed's second terrorist foe successfully knocked him to the ground with a crowbar and prepared to strike again until Ed kicked him effortlessly against a streetlight ten feet away! Ed sprung himself back up and dashed towards the terrorist! Frightened, the man attempted to sucker punch the boy, but Ed ducked as he spun around once before he delivered an uppercut so potent that it sent the terrorist flying through the bulb of the streetlight and into the clouds, where he disappeared!

Also frightened, Edd continued to back away from his terrorist enemies and lacked the courage to use the rifle despite the fact that he knew full well that he was running out of space. He eventually backed into a streetlight and watched as the two terrorists closed the gap between both him and them! Just then, Edd reheard the words said by Ashton in his head, but they had a more taunting tone to them. He said, _"I cut their lap-runnin' time in half so I could cram in this little meeting here! They're all headed home right now and as soon as night hits, these six boys here will pick 'em all up and take 'em down to the boss himself!" _Realizing this also meant Maggie, he slowly began to frown fearlessly before he cocked his rifle!

"RAGGH!" The two terrorists lunged at Edd, but the boy took them both down in a single shot! A shot that electrocuted them violently until they fell unconscious!

"My lovely violet turtledove shall remain untouchable to sick-minded imps like yourselves, thank you!" Edd blew the smoke off of the barrel of his gun before he joined Ed in watching Eddy approach Ashton for a hand-to-hand battle! Ashton took his hat off and cracked his knuckles as he approached Eddy!

"Need to warn ya, kid!" Ashton sneered. "Half those people I wasted…I ain't use guns for!"

"Big freakin' deal!" Eddy swiftly swung his left at Ashton, but to the boy's surprise, he effortlessly blocked it and delivered a powerful blow to Eddy's right cheek before he followed it up with a blow to his left cheek, his ribs, and once again, his right jaw! Eddy successfully back-bended to avoid Ashton's next blow and managed to strike him on the left side of his jaw, but before he could deliver another blow, Ashton punched him to the ground before he picked him up by his small neck and slammed him against a streetlight!

"You're a damn good fighter, kiddo, but I'm bred to kill, remember?" Ashton put both his hands around Eddy's neck just as the boy tried unsuccessfully to pry them off! "Guess I shoulda let'chu keep readin' up on me so you'd know that from the day I could talk, I've been toughened up by a Navy Seal!"

"Navy Seal?" Ed and Edd repeated worried.

Slowly losing consciousness, Eddy thought fast and successfully forced Ashton to release him by elbowing him in the face! Barely unfazed, Ashton angrily dashed up to Eddy, who tried to catch his breath, and successfully struck the boy in the right cheek and abdomen before he knocked him to the ground with a potent uppercut! He then got on his knee and began choking the boy with his left arm!

"EDDY!" Ed and Edd tried to intervene, but Ashton tightened his grip on Eddy's neck to scare them into staying where they were! It looked as if the spiky-haired protagonist was done for, but suddenly, in his own head, he began having flashes of him being abused and beaten by his brother as a child. Being slammed on the kitchen table and punched in the face repeatedly. Being kicked like a soccer ball against a tree while playing with toys. And getting dropped into a toilet and being flushed away!

"GET…OFF!" Unwilling to give up so easily, Eddy cracked Ashton's arm by punching it before he swiftly karate-chopped him in the neck and kicked him off of him! Both combatants sprung themselves back up to finish their fight. Ashton swiftly swung his right arm and left leg at Eddy, but the boy blocked them both before he successfully delivered a powerful uppercut to his face, a potent karate-chop to a point on his neck, a front-kick to his abdomen, a knee-kick to his face, and a blow to his face so potent that the man was sent flying over to a slightly distant streetlight!

"WAY TO GO, EDDY! EXCELENT WORK, EDDY! KEEP IT UP!" His fellow Eds cheered. Unsatisfied with the fact that he was still conscious though, Eddy ran up to Ashton with the intent of finishing him off just as the former-hitman sprung himself back up to stop him! Ashton unleashed a barrage of punches, but Eddy blocked and/or dodged each and every one them until he performed a karate-chop on the side of the man's neck, two blows to his ribcage, a karate-chop to his atoms-apple, and finally, three blows to the face; the last one forced him to hit his head so hard on the streetlight post that he fell facefirst unconscious onto the ground!

"EDDY WON! EDDY WON! EDDY WON!" The two Eds ran up to their friend as they asked, "Are you all right, Eddy?"

"Now that this guy's out…hell yeah!" Eddy took out his phone and called 911.

"What're you doing?" Ed asked.

"There are cops 'round the corner! Think they'll have a shot at getting' these assclowns now that they're—Hello? Yeah!" Eddy spoke to the woman on the phone with the voice of an adult man! "My name is Jude Moore and I was just riding by J. Wootton High School with my friends when I saw seven unconscious men on the ground! I-I don't know who they are, but one of them has a tattoo of a red skull-in-crossbones on their chest! J. Wootton High School, ma'am! All right, thank you!"

"Impressive voice-changing prowess, Eddy!" Edd complimented.

"Thanks, now lets get the hell outta here!" Eddy ran towards his car as his friends followed. "I wanna see what's on TV!"

The Eds entered Eddy's Camaro before they drove out of the school parking lot just as the camera zoomed in on the unconscious Ashton. A millisecond after the sound of police sirens could be heard, he opened his left eye before the screen cut to black!

* * *

><p><strong>Tribute- "S. Ralston High School" is named after one of my high school pals, "Stephen Ralston", a childhood Ed Edd n Eddy fan like myself (but he was always more into Dragonball Z and superhero comic books)! <strong>

"**Oswald Reid High School" is named after another high school pal of mine (with that very name), who was also a childhood fan of the show!**

* * *

><p><strong>Phoenix's note: It's not over yet, fans! The Eds have yet to finish the battle before the war! What evil awaits the cul-de-sac kids as well as the Eds themselves? And what kind of secrets are Rolf hiding to make him act so suspicious and if anything does it have anything to do with sex? Find out next half how it all unfolds!<strong>


	2. Feel the Ed! pt 2

**Phoenix's note: **Behold the incredibly long second half of the season premiere and all its action-packed/thrill-a-minute glory! Enjoy and review!

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><p><strong>(WARNING: The end has some sex-based content not suitable for non-mature fans!)<strong>

* * *

><p>The screen opened up in the large kitchen of the X-House (<strong>Third Times the Ed<strong>), where Nazz, Holly, and Maggie could be seen sitting at the kitchen table discussing their plans for saving the Sugar Bar from going out of business with the latter having a laptop in front of her.

"All right, I don't know about you girls, but I think the most important thing that needs to be changed is the theme! I mean, come on! A place that mostly sells sweet-based products with cliché waitresses and waiters sounds _so_ juvenile!" Maggie started. "Sure it made a substantial profit for the past few years, but it has got to go!"

"You're right, Maggie!" Holly agreed. "But they don't exactly have a theme! I mean, there are the huge sugar cubes decorated on the walls, but that's _totally _got out-of-date hanging just outside!"

"That's not a theme, Holly! That's just décor! A theme would be something that catches everyone's eyes so that they'll want to become a part of it. Like…" Nazz snapped her fingers, the sign of an idea forming. "A Hooters theme! Girls! We should, like, seriously do something like Hooters to rake in more customers! With us as the main ones!"

"But it's winter!" Holly argued. "I don't think it's a good idea to limit our clothing and freeze just for sex appeal!"

"We'll be inside, Holly! Y'know, where it's toasty? I think that's a good idea, Nazz!" Maggie typed it in.

"While you're at it, type in a name for us like…the Sugar Girls! Or the Hot Cubes!" Nazz dished out some ideas while Holly and Maggie rolled their respective eyes. "Or the…"

"Sugar Cubes!" Holly interrupted, which prompted a positive reaction from the other two bombshells.

"Sugar Cubes it is!" Maggie typed it in. "Now, the last thing I think needs to go is…the choice of music! I mean, I got respect for Meek Miss Manager Melissa, but half the rock, pop, and hip-hop songs she plays in that place are _so_…eww!"

"Let's, like, introduce her to Kamille!" Nazz suggested. "Everyone loves her! And maybe, for Nate, Brooke, and Twan, some Jonesy Ray!"

"You don't like Jonesy Ray?" Holly raised her eyebrows surprised. "He's one of the best rappers of all time! And he's hot! So _totally_ hot!"

"Watch it, Holland!" Nazz teased. "You and Ed might end up breaking up if you don't tone it down on the celebrity worship!"

"Holland?" Maggie took out her flash drive. "Where does Phoenix get all these names? Brooke's real name is Brooklyn, Twan's real name is Antwan, and now we just learned that Holly's real name is Holland? Come on!"

"Speaking of Ed," Holly spoke up, ignoring Maggie's rant. "Where do you think-"?

Holly was interrupted by the sound of the front door opening and the three Eds, though off-screen, could be heard muttering loudly.

"Are you sure?" Edd asked Eddy.

"Yeah, Sockhead, for the fifth time, I'm good." Eddy answered sternly. "I appreciate you carin' and all, but you know I'm a fast-healer!"

"And I'm Ed!" Ed joked. "And…oh, who am I kidding? I wanna go to sleep!"

Holly and Maggie power-walked out of the kitchen to join their boyfriends while Nazz remained sitting in the kitchen with a frustrated look on her face.

In the X-House living room (**Deck the Eds, Third Times the Ed**), Maggie embraced Edd while Holly looked around to find Ed, who disappeared.

"Hey, where's the big guy?" Holly asked the two Eds.

"He desires rest upstairs after a…_ahem_…wicked event at the school!" Edd replied.

"Nazz here?" Eddy asked the girls.

"Yeah, but I don't think she-"

Eddy, ignoring Holly, walked into the kitchen to speak with his woman as Holly finished, "wants to talk to you right now!"

"I desire a soda! Would either of you care for one?" Edd asked before the girls shook their respective heads "no" and he walked into the kitchen.

"So, where did he say Ed was?" Holly asked.

"Upstairs sleeping because he is _so _tired! Shouldn't blame him after the morning we've been through!" Maggie translated. "Hey, why don't you check up on him while Double D and I talk?"

"_Totally_!" Holly dashed off-screen as Maggie sat down on the couch.

In the kitchen, Eddy tried to get Nazz to look at him as he talked to her, but she was too upset about something to do so. Edd walked by with a lemon-lime soda and ignored the whole thing, but not without a worried facial expression.

"C'mon, sweetheart! What've I done to you that's so bad?" Eddy asked confused.

"You, like, know this has nothing to do with me!" Nazz finally spoke up. "It's about Coach Pierce and the disrespect you gave him! Yeah, he's an asshole, but he's still an adult! An adult who gets to decide if whether or not _you_ get to move on! Is it so hard for you to—_gasp_!"

Nazz didn't finish her sentence when she turned around and looked at Eddy with concern, noticing the bruises on his face and the blood stains on his shirt, given to him after his brutal match with Ashton.

"Oh my god!" She touched Eddy's face. "What happened to you?"

"Let's just say _Gavin Pierce _has got a secret that he didn't want me to find out or talk about!" Eddy touched Nazz's hand.

"What?" Nazz swung her hips in disbelief. "Are you saying that Coach Pierce did this to you, dude? Eddy, like I said, he might be an asshole, but he's not the Devil you think he is for you to keep rebelling against him!"

"You're right! He ain't the devil!" Eddy folded his arms. "He's a buddy and protégé of the Devil! Just like any other high-guy who hears out the head honcho of the Death Shades! Oh and by the way, it's Teague! Not Pierce!"

"You're accusing him of being a member of a group of sadistic monsters like the Death Shades?" Nazz asked, surprised at Eddy's revelations as well as disbelieving them. "Where do you get off?"

"You weren't there, Nazz!" Eddy justified. "You don't know what happened! You think I did this to myself?"

"No, but I do think you're, like, so hateful towards the guy and stuff!" Nazz argued.

"Okay, how 'bout this?" Eddy pinched his head frustrated. "Why don't you find out where he lives and talk to him about what happened earlier? I taught you how to look through someone's bullshit, so it should be pretty easy for you!"

"Eddy-" Nazz sternly started.

"I don't like bein' accused of lyin' when I just got a taste of Hell!" Eddy interrupted. "Especially when the accuser's my girlfriend! Make it work!" Eddy angrily stormed out of the kitchen while Nazz folded her arms and sighed.

In "his" room (which closely paralleled his actual one with sci-fi movie posters "Real Steel", "Cowboys and Aliens", and "Transformers: Dark of the Moon" respectively on the ceiling, the wall in front, and above his long bed, an flatscreen television that was older than the one in his house, a DVD player, and a portable fridge), a shirtless Ed lied down on top of his bed as he looked up at the ceiling in a daze, hoping to fall asleep. Just then, Holly walked into the room and caused Ed to change his facial expression to happiness at the sight of his girlfriend.

"Hey, handsome!" Holly sat on the side of Ed's bed. "Don't suppose you feel like going anywhere later, do you?"

"Yeah! Into more sleep!" Ed replied with his eyes closed.

"Look, I know that whole physical fitness exam _totally_ messed up our morning, but we can still do more than chill today, right, honey?" Holly asked, only to find that Ed had already fallen asleep, much to her annoyance. Nevertheless, she pulled a cover out from underneath the bed and put it over Ed to keep him warm.

In the living room, Edd and Maggie were discussing what was on the latter's flash drive and why she and the other bombshells desire to keep the Sugar Bar open.

"And should you succeed, which I'm quite sure you shall, where do you attend to go from there?" Edd asked.

"Well, hopefully we leave behind a legacy when we quit the place and go to college." Maggie replied. "Because it would _so_ suck if all the work we put into it only kept the place open for a year or whatever!"

"Well, I wish you good fortune when you pitch your proposition to the owner today, turtledove!" Edd supported his girl.

"Oh, I'm not going to do it! I need you, Ed, and Eddy to do it!" Maggie smiled. "I have to join Nazz and Holly in questioning Coach Pierce on the "Death Shades member" theory Eddy has!"

"Wha-uh, how do you know about that?" Edd asked, allowing a bead of sweat to escape.

"I read the script!" Maggie stroked Edd's chin hairs before she walked off-screen with her laptop. She walked up to Holly and Nazz as the latter walked out of the kitchen. "Ready?"

Nazz jingled her keys in the air, "Let's do it! See ya, Double D!"

After the girls went out the front door, Eddy suddenly jumped from off-screen and flopped on one of the living room couches as he sighed.

"You do realize that even if they manage to locate Mr. Teague's so-called dwelling, it will not make a difference because both he and his accomplices are currently in the custody of the authorities, don't you?" Edd pointed out.

"That's the idea!" Eddy laid his head back relaxed. "With Teague not there, they can scratch around his place for enough evidence to put that guy back on Death Row!"

"Eddy! As cruel and unforgivable as that man is, none of us should have the heart to wish him deceased." Edd reprimanded.

"Yer talkin' to a guy who won't even hit a Kanker sister much less wish her dead!" Eddy yawned. "But let's quit this talk! What're we doin' today? Gotta make it count 'cause we gotta go back to…_yecch…_school tomorrow!"

"I might be able to conjure an idea just as soon as we complete our appointment with Ms. Melissa at the Sugar Bar!" Edd responded.

"_Our_ appointment?" Eddy repeated, obviously unwillingly.

"Yes, Eddy! You and I rather enjoy ourselves at that eatery for adolescent citizens as well!" Edd replied. "You should be more than enthusiastic to save it from proverbially folding! And aside from that, I require your mentally creative prowess to do just that!"

"What about Ed?" Eddy pointed upstairs. "Kinda been lookin' forward to dog-pilin' on 'im again!"

"If he is not awake by the time we return, then I will join you!" Edd stood up and placed the flash drive in his pocket. "For now, let's allow him to rest! Shall we?"

"I'm drivin'!" Eddy followed Edd off-screen.

* * *

><p>The screen slowly transitioned into the office of the Sugar Bar's managerowner, Melissa Cervantes, where Edd and Eddy were speaking with Melissa herself on their girlfriends' ideas for saving the place from going out of business. Melissa was a lovely Hispanic black-haired woman in her mid-thirties who wore a black shirt, an even blacker skirt, and off-screen shoes. Their flash-drive was in her own personal computer so that they could all see the work created by the Bombshells.

"Perhaps the practical idea of renovating this structure is wise if you garner more customers than you could predict!" Edd suggested.

"These are very interesting concepts, boys but-" Melissa started.

"Have I mentioned that you needn't not worry about the considerable noise the party-goers will emit?" Edd added. "We chose a reasonable hour that also happens to be convenient for students, like us, who have parents that place a deadline on our nocturnal activities."

"Yes, but…I really don't see how you're going to be able to save my business in a day!" Melissa shrugged. "I mean, how can you or your girlfriends prepare all this and still go to school for like six hours or whatever?"

Eddy chuckled confidently, "Liss…you let us worry about that! Trust me! We might be teens, but we, mainly me, got pockets of connections! School is in the unrelated-slash-unimportant-crap category, so chill! We got'chu covered!"

Melissa thought for about five seconds until, "You've got yourself a deal, gentlemen!" She stood up and shook their respective hands. "But remember! These Sugar-cube Bombshell girls of yours better not be a minute late when it's their turn to perform tomorrow night! And _don't_…disappoint me!"

"Uh, Double D? Mind definin' that word for me? Dis-dis-disappoint is what'chu said?" Eddy asked Edd sarcastically, the latter rolled his eyes and shook his head with a smile before the screen faded to black.

* * *

><p>The screen reopened to a gray townhouse in an unknown part of Peach Creek, where Nazz's Altima could be seen pulling up in front of the camera. Maggie rode shotgun as she looked at her laptop while Holly sat in the backseat.<p>

"You, like, sure this is the place, Maggie?" Nazz asked.

"Yeah, because, this _totally_ doesn't fit the description of my ideal house!" Holly looked out the window.

"Could be because it's _not_ your house!" Maggie scoffed. "But yeah! I'm _so _sure this is Pierce's house! Hacked into the database of S. Ralston and O. Reid High to find his address! If he's what Eddy says he is, he's pretty freaking convincing! More so than any terrorist I've ever heard of!"

"He's no terrorist, Maggie!" Nazz unbuckled her seatbelt. "I mean, with his attitude, he could pass for one, but it's seriously messed up to think the whole "Coach" thing was a mask for something way more messed-up!"

"Did you say, "hacked"?" Holly stepped out of the car after Maggie.

"Please stay with us, Holly!" Maggie rolled her eyes. "And no I'm not worried about being traced for hacking because both of those schools' computer systems have pathetic-ass security!"

"All right, girls! Let's get this over with!" Nazz knocked on the townhouse's front door as she yelled, "Hello? Coach Pierce! It's the Bombshells! We need to talk to you about something important! Well, maybe it's not all that important, but I think it is kinda sorta serious! Hello?"

Nazz banged on the door three more times before she tugged on the doorknob and accidentally opened the door! She looked back at her friends suspicious before she entered the house with them right behind her. It was dark. Relatively dark. The girls could barely see strands of hair in front of their respective eyes.

"Hello? Are you here?" While Maggie tried to avoid bumping into rough furniture, Holly felt around the walls for a light switch.

"Hello?" Nazz noticed a staircase and began to climb up it until, suddenly, the door slammed shut at the same time the lights switched on to reveal Ashton (still known to the girls as "Pierce") behind the door with a CAR-15 in his hands!

"GET THE FUCK DOWN FROM THERE!" Ashton pointed his gun at Nazz, causing her and her fellow Bombshells to fall down and shriek in terror! However, Ashton, recognizing the three girls, quickly switched the weapon to safety and tossed it in the closet! "Oh my God! Are you three okay? I-I didn't mean to scare you!"

"It's-It's all right!" Nazz hyperventilated. "You didn't fire, right?"

"I'm so sorry! Have a seat ladies!" Ashton pointed to a brown sofa, which the girls sat on. "Lemme get you some water to calm your hearts!"

Ashton went into a mini-fridge and pulled out three bottles of water before he handed one to each Bombshell and sat down in front of them in a comfy purple-furred chair.

"So sorry!" Ashton put on a convincing smile. "Now…mind telling me what made you come out here and almost get your heads…y'know?"

"Well, I don't know if you, like, heard me, but I said what I'm about to share with you is going to sound incredibly stupid!" Nazz sipped some of her water.

"After what I almost did to you, I don't see myself with a choice but to hear ya out!" Ashton motioned for Nazz to speak up.

* * *

><p>The screen transitioned to "Ed's room", where the oldest of the trio could be seen still sleepin' loudly, yet peacefully. Just then, his door cracked open slightly before one could see Eddy and Edd snickering mischievously through that crack, prepared to pounce on their friend. The two snuck quietly into the room and, using their respective fingers, counted to three before…<p>

"DOGPILE!" The two Eds successfully ambushed their friend and woke him up! Immediately afterwards, the three fell onto the floor and laughed heartily!

"Like ol' times, eh, Lumpy?" Eddy slapped Ed in the back of the head!

"Better to remain awake, old friend!" Edd chuckled. "You won't be able to receive all of your energy come morning if you overdo your resting habits!"

The three Eds looked up to find Holly and Maggie staring down at them with emotionless facial expressions and Nazz with an angered one! Ed and Edd stood up straight while Eddy merely sat on the edge of Ed's bed.

"Gravy-cake! You're back!" Ed smiled.

"Excellent news, ladies!" Edd smiled. "Ms. Cervantes wishes to go with your plans for saving the Sugar Bar so long as we fulfill every commitment we've made!"

"Yeah, that's cool, Double D! Thanks! But if you don't mind, I'd like to speak to my _boyfriend_ alone!" Nazz folded her arms, changing the mood in the room! "Sorry, big guy that we have to use your room for a minute!"

"Ooh, somebody's in trouble!" Ed walked out of the room with Holly, Edd, and Maggie, closing the door behind him.

"So, you looked around?" Eddy smiled, hoping to be informed that he was right all along!

"Better! I talked to him in person!" Nazz continued with a hostile tone!

"WHAT?" Eddy frowned outraged as he stood up. "That assclown must've woken up and bailed before the cops showed up!"

"Okay, you know what? Stop!" Nazz demanded aggravated. "You've done and said a lot of messed up stuff in your life, Eddy, but this is one thing I have to get in your face about! Coach Pierce said that you, not Ed or Double D, tried to sneak out to your car before he could reason with you and talk about giving you another chance! Which is something we both know you'd do!"

"That's bullshit! He's tryin' to make ya distrust me!"

"He also said that it looked like you were threatening Ed and Double D into helping you get away when he tried to catch up with you! And I know you're almost always plotting things with Ed and Double D…and so do you!"

"When've you ever seen me threaten those two, Nazz? Huh?"

"That's just it! I _never_ have because I _never_ do! I don't know half the things you do when I'm not around!"

"Exactly! So, why won't you listen to me?"

"Because Eddy, you're rebellious! You can be deceitful! Disrespectful! And I've seen all of that yesterday!"

"Well if you can't hear me out, even if I do sound a little retarded, then maybe you and I need to take a break, huh? 'Cause I don't see a point in us even lookin' at each other if ya can't trust me!"

Nazz, heartbroken by these words, emitted some tears and turned around to leave the room. But before she left, Eddy continued softly, "And here's something you should think about! Who do you know is tough enough to damage me like this? Keyword: "Know"!"

Despite still emitting some tears, Nazz began to develop a facial expression that bordered on thinking. As she left the room and wiped her face, the screen zoomed in on a visibly hurt Eddy before it faded to black.

* * *

><p>The screen reopened at J. Wootton High School the following day, where it was now final lunch and the Eds were walking down a hallway to the cafeteria. Ed and Edd were doing their best to support a still-depressed Eddy after yesterday's fight with Nazz.<p>

"Cheer up, Eddy!" Edd placed his hand on his shoulder. "I'm very confident that you two will eventually reaffirm your mutual affection! But the only way to be sure of that is if you are just as confident if not more so!"

"Yeah, but today, it's guy time!" Ed put his arm around Eddy's shoulder buddy-style. "A day with the dudes!"

"Y'know what? You're right, Ed!" Eddy quickly perked up. "What I need is to chill with my boys the rest of the day! Least until we get on over to that Sugar Bar thing!"

"But Eddy, Nazz is the focal point of that event!" Edd reminded his friend. "Seeing her there would defeat the purpose of-"

"Who said I'd be there for her? Especially when I pulled the strings that got the place lookin' sexy!" Eddy slapped Edd on the back.

"THERE THEY ARE! AGGHH! AGGHH!" The moment the Eds walked through the cafeteria door, they were suddenly ambushed by female students who randomly started asking for the Eds' respective autographs!

"My word!" Edd took out a pen and frantically signed many of the girls' stuff. "I certainly don't recall our school harboring this many female learners!"

"That's 'cause these girls are actually extras who grew up watching our first show and followed us on this one!" Ed signed a girl's cardboard buttered toast! "Talk about the ultimate 4th wall break, huh guys?"

"Hate to break this to ya ladies, but, Ed…" Eddy pulled Ed over to his side. "…Edd…" Eddy pulled Edd over to his other side. "…and even Eddy are off the market! No kisses!"

"But Eddy, since you and Nazz are taking a break, doesn't that technically mean you're back on layaway or something?" Ed asked.

"Shut up, Ed!" Eddy signed a girl's T-shirt.

"Hey, that's what it says on my shirt!" A random girl showed the Eds her yellow shirt, which showed a younger Eddy telling a younger Ed to shut up!

Just then, three boys (about the same age as Ed) that were wearing all black got passed the crowd of girls and confronted the Eds angrily. One was a redheaded boy, one was a blonde boy, and the last one was a brunette boy.

"Just who the fuck do you shit-pieces think you are?" the apparent redheaded leader growled with his Brooklyn accent, jealous of the namesake protagonists' fame. "Yer hoggin' all the damn action!"

Eddy, seeing this as an opportunity to fully get over yesterday by being himself again, smirked, "One: They came to us! Two: you need some mints! And three: you obviously…need to get laid if all you want are extras and fangirls! But I don't think you're the right size, so…"

Furious, the redheaded kid yelled, "Girls! Guy talk! Go back to your tables!"

Annoyed, the girls walked away from the Eds and sat back down to allow the three jealous teens to continue annoying them.

"Look, celebrities!" the redheaded kid continued. "If I catch you talkin' to those girls again or if you make another smart-ass comment, I'll…"

"What?" Eddy folded his arms in disbelief. "Whine to us about how your breath's nailin' which is probably one of twenty-eight reasons why you can't get laid?"

"All right…THAT DOES IT!" The redheaded kid swung at Eddy, but he caught his fist and ran out of the cafeteria with his friends despite knowing that the bullies in black would surely give chase! "GET BACK HERE, DICK, DICKK, N DICKY!"

"So, he's a wannabe Kevin now, ain't he?" Eddy smiled as he and his pals ran down another hallway! "Phoenix is goin' all out with these extras this episode…ain't he?"

The three Eds reached the stairs and went down their own way. Eddy slid down the rails like a surfer, Ed slid down the rails on his head, and Edd simply ran down the stairs frantically!

"BREAK OFF!" The Eds broke off in all directions and while the bullies gave chase, instead of going after each Ed (which would make more sense), strangely, the redheaded boy and the blonde boy only went for Eddy while the brunette boy went for Ed since he went in his direction!

The blonde kid was close to snatching Eddy, but the Ed leader averted this by jumping at a wall, bouncing off of it with his feet, and flipping over the blonde kid as well as flipping him off! When he landed, however, he found himself surrounded by both the redheaded boy and the blonde boy!

"YOU'RE GOIN' DOWN, ASSWIPE!" The redheaded kid snarled!

"Yeah, right!" Eddy back-bended to avoid the two bullies' punches, causing them to sock each other instead! "Come get me if this hurts more than a few seconds!" Eddy swiftly and potently punched both boys in the ribs before he kicked the blonde kid over to the redheaded kid, causing them both to writhe in pain on the floor while he ran off-screen and laughed!

In the same hallway, Ed and Edd continued to run, only for the former to be tackled off-screen by the brunette bully! Edd, shocked at this, ran to assist his friend, but was overpowered by the redheaded kid and the blonde kid, who recovered from Eddy's attack! The redheaded kid trapped Edd in his own hat before he tossed him in the nearby trashcan!

"A waste basket! How revolting!" Edd yelled in a muffled tone!

"Deal with it!" The blonde kid kicked the trashcan down the stairs leading to the boiler room (with Edd still in it) before he and the redheaded kid went to join the brunette kid in assaulting Ed!

"Double D!" Having just jumped on-screen, Eddy noticed that Edd was still falling down the stairs and was headed straight for the super-hot (but closed) furnace! Using his quarter-necklace as a grappling hook, he yanked Edd out of the trashcan, which was burnt to a crisp once it touched the furnace door! "I got'chu, pal!"

"Thank you, Eddy!" Edd fixed his hat back.

"What's with these idiots?" Eddy pointed to the furnace.

"Seeing as how I was, as a cruel running gag, encased within my own hat again, I must say this is clearly yet another bullying attempt on our person!" Edd folded his arms.

"Yeah, well! They're gonna learn that the Eds don't get no bullies!" Eddy cracked his knuckles as he walked off-screen.

"Eddy, playing their game is what will make this entire scene go on indefinitely!" Edd tried to reason with Eddy. Quickly, however, they saw the three bullies assaulting a downed Ed while also taunting him!

"RAAGGH!" Ed, fed-up, sprung himself up and knocked out the blonde kid and assaulted the redheaded kid and the brunette boy respectively in the face and stomach! Before he could hit the brunette kid again, the latter held a sharp pocketknife to his neck before the redheaded kid punched him to the floor!

"Let's cut 'im up!" the two boys cackled!

"YAAGGH!" Enraged, the two Eds dashed towards the two bullies with Edd pulling out the same stagger-inducing rifle Ed gave him earlier for defense! Edd knocked the brunette kid unconscious with a shot fired from the rifle and tried to do the same to the redheaded kid, but he grabbed the rifle, used his superior strength to throw him against some lockers, and knocked him unconscious by hitting him upside the head with the rifle itself!

"You're next, asswipe!" The redheaded kid tossed the rifle off-screen.

"You talkin' to me? You talkin' to me? There's…nobody else around so…you must be talkin' to me!" Eddy taunted the redheaded kid by mocking his Brooklyn accent!

"RRRR!" Annoyed, the kid snatched up his brunette friend's pocketknife and attempted to cut (and possibly kill) Eddy, but failed when the latter swiftly blocked his arm, sucker-punched him in the face, neck, and rib (the same place he hit not too long ago), and performed a roundhouse kick to the back of his head so powerful that it sent the redheaded kid into unconsciousness and smack into a nearby water fountain, which was destroyed on impact!

"Works every freakin' time!" Eddy helped his two friends up. "Oh, good! Yer awake! Now, let's run away before—huh?"

Eddy failed to finish his sentence when his attention went to the unconscious redheaded kid. As water poured out of the destroyed fountain and onto the boy's neck, something red could be seen appearing on it (the kid's neck). Eddy walked over to the kid and moved his shirt collar out of the way before he uttered, "_No way!_"

"What is it, Ed-d-d-d-dy?" Edd walked on-screen to have a look and developed a surprised facial expression as well!

"What are you guys looking a—HOLY GRAVY-BISCUIT DELUXE!" Ed exclaimed when he joined his friends in staring at what was on the kid's neck! The camera slowly shifted to show that the so-called kid had a red skull-in-crossbones tattoo on his neck!

"Damn it if it don't make sense!" Eddy snapped his fingers. "Tryin' to gang up on me? Kickin' you downstairs to the boiler room? Holdin' Ed at knifepoint? These guys are Shades sent to kill us!"

"Their jealousy directed at our popularity and subsequent desire to violently pursue us was meant to be a common excuse to do so!" Edd deduced. "Yet…if all members of the Death Shades terrorist group possess ages that range from 20 to 25, how could they have possibly been able to penetrate this institution without receiving notice?"

"Don't you watch the behind-the-scenes features of scary movies, Double D?" Ed started. "Even though the characters are teenagers, the actors are commonly in their twenties and don't need make-up…most of the time!"

"My, that's…a very apt way of comparing the situations, Ed!" Edd placed his hand on Ed's shoulder.

"Wait a sec, guys! Think there's more than one thing goin' on here!" Eddy thought. "If they're willin' to come after us durin' school hours, that means they're either desperate or…"

"Or what, Eddy?" Edd asked Eddy to continue, not liking the sudden burst of silence.

"They're tryin' to keep us from gettin' in their way again! And I think "they" means "Teague" since Nazz told me that she personally talked to the guy! The son of a bitch!" Eddy finished.

"We have to find Teague and stop him before he makes another move!" Ed pointed his finger up.

"You three aren't going anywhere!" Hector (**What an Ed wants, Hail to the Ed**) appeared behind the three boys and pointed to the direction of his office, much to their frustration!

* * *

><p>In Nazz's room, the bombshells were preparing for their big night by dressing a little nicer than usual! Holly was wearing a silk short-sleeve dress shirt, black dress pants, and was putting on black leather heels. Maggie was wearing the same dress shirt in pink, matching black leather heels, and was buttoning up her matching black pants. Nazz was buttoning up a shirt that was the same as her friends', but was purple, and was wearing matching dress pants and shoes. She looked in her mirror emotionless, still thinking about yesterday's fight with Eddy and everything he said.<p>

"Hey, you know what? We should _totally_ have our guys dance with us for the second song! Y'know! Make everything we do different from the last!" Holly suggested.

"That'd be a great idea, Holly, if Nazz and Eddy weren't taking a break!" Maggie reminded her friend. "And this is _so _not the right time for them to make-out to make-up! Still, we need you to have a positive attitude when we perform, Nazz! Nazz?"

"Can I ask you guys something?" Nazz turned around. "As long as you've known Eddy, have you ever, like, seen him take a beating?"

"Well, you told us that before he took martial arts, he was an easy target for Kevin, but…no! I've never seen Eddy come close to losing a fight!" Maggie replied. "Half the time when he says he's been in a fight, there's not a scratch on him because, well, with him, it's not really a fight as much as a massacre!"

"Why?" Holly wondered why Nazz asked such a random question.

"It's just…something doesn't add up about yesterday or the day before!" Nazz realized. "Yesterday, Coach Pierce said that Eddy tried to sneak away to his car, but he didn't say how Eddy got banged up so bad! In fact, he kinda avoided the question! And then he said that from a distance, it looked like he was threatening Ed and Double D into helping him. And if I know one thing, Eddy might be rebellious and sometimes deceitful, but I've only seen and heard him do nothing but look out for those two! He wouldn't relapse into that asshole his brother made him into!"

"Yeah! And the day before, he decided to shorten our run just so he could go check on the Eds!" Maggie added. "School policy says that the physical fitness instructor is supposed to be in the presence of his working students at all times, but that's not the only suspicious thing about his behavior!"

"You talking about why he felt the need to point a gun at someone even though they knocked on his door a few times?" Holly asked.

"Not just that!" Maggie continued. "Between us finishing our run, leaving to go home, and our men coming home almost an hour after we all left, that would give him more than enough time to…stir up trouble for them!"

"Well, there's something not right about that guy for sure, but can he really be what Eddy says he is?" Holly wondered. "A guy from the Death Shades of all places?"

"Not sure!" Nazz folded her arms suspiciously. "But I hate being lied to just as much as I do getting in a fight with Eddy! We're going back to that townhouse and make this "Coach Pierce" tell us the truth! Let's go girls!"

"Yeah!" Holly and Maggie followed Nazz off-screen.

The screen cut to the front of Ashton's townhouse, which Nazz's Altima parked in front of. The Bombshells got out of the car and dashed towards the front door. Nazz banged on the door three times before Ashton opened it.

"Ah, girls! Come on in!" Ashton invited them in, not knowing that they were onto him.

"We need to have a talk, sir!" Nazz folded her arms sternly.

"Okay, shoot!" Ashton did the same.

"When we talked yesterday, I asked you a couple times why Eddy looked like he took a beating, but you kept ducking the question!" Nazz started.

"What, you think I had something to do with that?" Ashton chuckled. "Eddy could've been somewhere before he went home and got thrashed or whatever! Did you think about-"

"My boyfriend was trained by one of the best martial artists in the country!" Nazz added. "There's not a lot of kids—scratch that—_people_ who can even touch him much less damage him like that! Least not around here! I know this because I know a lot of people in this district and what they can do!"

"Also, you said the whole marine-trainer act was to motivate us into working harder and faster! If you really believed that, you wouldn't have cut our running time short and broke school policy just to confront one kid for being a constant pain to you!" Maggie joined in, causing Ashton to change his facial expression to anger.

"And by the way, the fact that you were standing behind the door the whole time with a gun not only tells us that you knew damn well that we were here even when you said you didn't, it tells us that you didn't want anyone to find you for whatever reason!" Holly realized, causing Nazz and Maggie to look at her surprised since they haven't seen her display some deductive prowess before.

"Now, we want the truth…sir!" Nazz cracked her knuckles as she clinched her fists. "Who are you?"

Ashton chuckled wickedly, "Someone who's never seen a loyal bitch when he was in school!"

"Bitch? That's it!" Nazz stomped towards Ashton, but just then, three men in black, obviously Shades members, jumped off of the stairs and attacked Holly and Maggie by tackling the two girls off-screen! The third one went for Nazz, but she front-kicked him in the groin and ran off into the kitchen!

"NO!" Ashton stopped the in-pain terrorist from giving chase. "She's mine!"

Ashton ran into the kitchen and attempted to corner Nazz a few times around the table and island counter! Just when it looked like she outsmarted him by sliding under the table and punching him in the groin, he pulled her back by her hair and kicked her against the counter!

Next, he grabbed her by the neck and slammed her harder against the counter before she grabbed his shirt and slammed him against the counter next to the refrigerator! She tried to deliver a swift punch and kick, but Ashton used the fridge door to block them before he successfully punched her in the face! Nazz ducked the next swing and managed to land a blow to the man's ribs! Nazz tried to deliver another blow, but Ashton once again used the refrigerator door as a shield and tried to use the freezer door to knock her out. Nazz ducked to avoid the freezer door and kicked the fridge door against Ashton to faze him a little! She moved the refrigerator door out of the way and tried to deliver a sucker-punch, but Ashton caught her fist punched her in the abdomen, slammed her head against the refrigerator, and knocked her onto the floor with an uppercut!

"You're a tough dragon, girl! Gotta give ya that!" Ashton snickered. "But your boyfriend's better!"

Nazz sprung herself back up in time to avoid a side-piercing kick by front-flipping out of the way and attempted to perform yet another sucker-punch, but failed when Ashton caught her fist, elbowed her in the abdomen, neck, and face, and slid her across the island counter before she landed on the eating table! She picked up a saltshaker and sprung herself off the table to avoid Ashton's sucker-punch. She tried to deliver a haymaker to Ashton, but he ducked and kicked her in the abdomen before she threw the saltshaker in the air and Ashton knocked it away distracted, allowing Nazz to finally land a clean blow to the man's face!

"Least you, like, fight more than you talk!" Nazz cracked her neck.

Ashton swung his right at Nazz, but she blocked it and tried to react with a cross-punch to the left cheek, but he caught it and successfully delivered a blow to her right cheek! But before he could deliver another one, she caught his fist and viciously head-butted him, breaking his nose! Wanting to end the fight, Nazz swung her left at the man, but he grabbed her arm, twisted it around her back, spun her around three times by both her twisted arm and hair, and tossed her into the living room, where one of the three terrorists successfully caught her and slammed her on the couch next to her friends!

"I gotta say, I didn't expect to take this huge a whiff of the potential you kids had in this place! Whoo!" Ashton clapped his hands excited. "You three poodles will make great labor sources for the big guy and all his works of art!"

"Labor sources?" Maggie repeated. "You're gonna turn us into slaves?"

"Don't worry, I know how to make it more fun for you! I'll make co-workers outta all your friends!" Ashton cackled as Nazz growled angrily.

* * *

><p>Half an hour later, the Eds and Hector were in a hallway near some exit doors as they spoke with Police Commissioner Marsh, who had three SWAT officers escort the redheaded, blonde, and brunette terrorists to the truck outside. Marsh went to talk to another officer while Hector faced the Eds.<p>

"For once, Gates, I'm proud of you! _Yecch!"_ Caird shivered at the thought of what he just said to Eddy. "And I guess I'll…talk to the Board about automatically passing you for the physical fitness exam since you've been through two ordeals in two days!"

"Dudes day rules, guys!" Ed raised his hands happy!

Just then, Edd's cell phone rang before he looked at it with a surprised and suspicious facial expression.

"Odd." Edd muttered. "An unknown person is contacting me on my emergency phone number!"

"_You_ have an emergency phone number? What the heck for?" Eddy chuckled.

"For Maggie and my family in case something appalling takes place when I'm not in their presence!" Edd replied. "But this number I do not recognize!"

"Lemme see that thing!" Eddy snatched the phone out of Edd's hand and developed surprised eyes, "Wait a freakin' minute! I know this number!" He answered, "What's goin' on?"

"_Eddy?" _Nazz whispered on the other end.

"Nazz?" Eddy recognized her voice. "Why you callin' Double D's phone?"

"_He smashed Holly's and Maggie's phones, but forgot to see if I had mine!"_ Nazz replied.

"He?" Who's-?" Eddy suddenly developed bug-eyes knowingly. "Oh, god! Don't tell me-"

"_Eddy, I'm so, so sorry! I should've known you were right all along about Pier-I mean, Ashton!" _Nazz continued as the screen shifted to what appeared to be a stripped abandoned building of some kind, where Nazz and her fellow Bombshells could be seen trapped in the back of an obviously stolen prison bus. "He said he was going to have us delivered to the terrorist leader personally! Then, he's going to come for you guys and the others for slave labor like they planned!"

While Nazz was speaking with Eddy, Holly and Maggie (who positioned themselves in an angle that made it impossible to tell if whether or not Nazz was on the phone) were listening in on Ashton and a random terrorist's conversation.

"None of the kids are home." The terrorist informed Ashton. "They're all at a special event at some Sugar Bar. Too many people and witnesses to kill without causing the big guy problems."

"All right, tell him that we need the copter now and we'll drag the rest of the kids outta their houses at around 5:00 a.m!" Ashton sighed.

* * *

><p>Back at the school…<p>

"I'll tell Commissioner Marsh what's going on." Hector walked towards Marsh.

"To hell with cops! Ed, go get Nate, Kevin, and Rolf! They should still be throwin' ball on the field!" Eddy ordered, prompting Ed to comply and Hector to turn his attention to him. He (Eddy) spoke into the phone, "Nazz-"

"Gates, you stay put!" Hector demanded.

"Yeah, sure!" Eddy falsely (yet convincingly) agreed before Hector ran up to Marsh to tell him about the situation.

"Nazz, sweetheart, sit tight! I'm comin' for ya! Double D, get Maggie to describe the place they're at and see if either of you know what it is! We'll keep in touch!" Eddy took out his own phone.

"Affirmative!" Edd took back his phone.

"Did I hear there was a situation?" Nate, Kevin, and Rolf showed up on the scene with Ed.

"Yeah! Long story short, some terrorists kidnapped the Bombshells and I need to get on the road, but I can't use my car 'cause Pierce AKA Teague'll recognize it!" Eddy explained.

"Oh! Oh! I got an idea!" Ed raised his hand before the screen shifted to the student parking lot, where three large black motorcycles could be seen on kickstands.

"Doubt those three wannabes 'ill need these anymore!" Eddy hopped on one of the cycles, put on the helmet, and drove off to rescue the Bombshells.

"Let's ride!" The boys hopped in Nate's van (Edd sat shotgun while Ed, Kevin, and Rolf sat in the backseats) and rode off as well.

"All right, Maggie, let's review." Edd spoke on the other end of Maggie's phone. _"You're incarcerated in a prison bus, yet the expanded area you are in hasn't a single object in sight. No shelves. No plants. Only cobwebs, dust, and echoes if one is too loud. And lastly, the building itself looks to be at least three stories high. If I'm not mistaken, which I know I'm not, the place that you are trapped within is—"_

"Rathebone Hardware! Good job, Double D!" Maggie snapped her fingers before the screen shifted back to Edd, who called Eddy.

Eddy was in the middle of the street on his confiscated cycle as he spoke with Edd on the phone.

"_The girls are being held captive at Rathebone Hardware, Eddy!" _Edd told Eddy. _"I can give you the directions if you-"_

"Don't bother, Sockhead! Know where it is! Just go the short way since I covered the long one!" Eddy rode passed the screen.

* * *

><p>In the abandoned warehouse, the girls were thinking of a way out of the prison bus as instructed by Eddy.<p>

"This is _so _pointless, Nazz!" Maggie uttered. "There's a reason why this type of metal is used for prison buses! No one's meant to get out! Ashton and his gang of assholes knew that when they stole it!"

"But no prison bus can hold guys like Holly and Ed!" Nazz replied.

"What?" Holly looked at Nazz.

"You, like, crumpled a concrete ball at the junior/senior prom like it was nothing and ripped a four-door sedan in half last summer!" Nazz remembered. "You can do this!"

"Yeah, but I need the situation! The anger! The pain!" Holly explained. "Knowing that the boys are coming _totally_ took all that negativity away!"

"Pretend Ed wasn't coming and you'd never see him again!" Nazz suggested.

Holly suddenly went into a fit of rage and punched the back of the bus, creating a hole more than large enough for the girls to escape through!

"Nice going, girl!" The Bombshells tried to make a run for the nearest exit, but was blocked by five armed terrorists, who heard the sound of the bus' partial destruction!

"Why're you three so anxious to leave?" One of them joked. "Copter's close-by! Wait a few seconds!"

That same terrorist pointed his rifle at Nazz and before he could pull the trigger (to injure, not kill her), she knocked the weapon in another direction, front-kicked him in the groin, punched him in the throat, forced him into unconsciousness by elbowing his neck, and kicked his rifle off-screen just as Maggie lunged for it and Holly made a run for the prison bus! Nazz ducked another terrorist's swing and delivered a blow to his face just as another terrorist came from behind Nazz and attempted to sucker-punch her, only to end up also punching that same terrorist! Prompting this, Maggie cocked the rifle she picked up and shot the terrorist that was behind Nazz in the left shoulder, forcing him to the floor!

"LET'S GO!" Nazz and Maggie made a run for the prison bus just as the three remaining able-bodied terrorists, rather than giving chase, prepared to shoot at both girls! But just before they could pull their respective triggers, they saw, to their horror, that Holly had just lifted the prison bus with her own two hands as she glared angrily at the terrorists!

"PISS…OFF!" Holly tossed the prison bus at the terrorists, who were far too frightened to move a muscle and ended up screaming hysterically before the bus expectedly crushed them all! Holly then ran with her fellow Bombshells out the no-longer guarded exit and ran around the building in an attempt to locate the street that the boys would find them on.

"THAT'S IT, GIRLS!" Nazz pointed to the street ahead, blocked only by a tall fence. But before they could even get close to the fence…

"Little dark for a walk, eh ladies? Wouldn't you prefer a nice ride in a helicopter?" Ashton himself suddenly jumped out in front of the girls with his CAR-15 pointed at them. He cocked it and subtly threatened, "Think about it! A gentle breeze in the beautiful night sky versus Hell-hot lead bullets and bloody coughs!"

"FUCK YOU!" Maggie snapped.

"Maybe in a few years…if you're lucky!" Ashton pointed his rifle at the girls, ready to injure, not kill, them. Before he could fire, however…

"YEE-HAW!" Eddy, in slow-motion, suddenly leapt over the tall fence on the screen's left in his confiscated motorcycle before he hopped off, sending the motorcycle crashing towards Ashton!

Realizing this, Ashton quickly back-flipped out of the way while the Bombshells, though out of the motorcycle's way, hit the deck when Ashton indirectly (and unsuccessfully) shot his gun in their direction!

"What the hell do you think you're-" Ashton, thinking that it was one of his own men that attacked him, stood up outraged just as Eddy tackled him down to the ground and knocked his gun out of reaching range with his helmet, revealing himself to the Bombshells and Ashton! "You!"

"Miss me, Ash?" Eddy sprung himself off of Ashton. "I came for them, but now, I wanna deal with you!"

"Well, these little tramps aren't goin' anywhere unless you deal with my friends, too!" Ashton spoke into his earpiece. "All of you! Outside! Now! Labor source is in jeopardy!"

* * *

><p>Inside the warehouse, about fifteen armed terrorists were rushing down some stairs and heading outside to assist Ashton as one of them yelled, "You heard 'im! Outside to retain labor source! Absolutely no one's allowed to leave!"<p>

* * *

><p>"You're not the only one with friends, but'chu probably are if they're in low places!" Eddy smirked before, not a second too soon, Nate's blue van arrived on the scene, crashed through the tall fence, and swerved to a stop just as the sliding door opened and all of the boys (save for Edd) jumped out of the vehicle!<p>

"Get set, boys!" Eddy ordered. "Some gun-holdin' pricks are 'bout to come out! Get in the van, girls!" The Bombshells made a run for Nate's van, but Ashton swiftly stood back up and grabbed Maggie by her hair!

"MAGGIE!" Edd shouted horrified.

"AAH! AAH! LET GO, YOU BASTARD!" Maggie tried to remove Ashton's hand, but he was too strong!

"Why the hell would I do that?" Ashton sneered. "'Cause of your friends? Way I see it, they volunteered to come along with ya!"

"What, again?" Eddy tackled Ashton off-screen, allowing Maggie to freely dive into Nate's van with Holly, but not Nazz since she decided to stay outside and join Nate, Ed, Kevin, and Rolf in their oncoming fight against Ashton's fifteen men, who came pouring out of the warehouse with their weapons cocked and ready!

"HERE THEY COME!" Kevin got into a battle-stance.

"ED, TAKE OUT THEIR GUNS!" Eddy got kicked onto the ground by Ashton, but nevertheless stood back up to engage him in another hand-to-hand battle!

"No weapons, chickenshits!" A light-bulb appeared over Ed's head before it turned into a lightning rod that he pointed at the terrorists! Just then, in a flash of yellow light, the terrorists' respective guns were destroyed, leaving them without an advantage!

"LET'S GET THESE MOTHER-FUCKERS!" Nate ran towards the terrorists first before his friends followed him into battle! Nate punched one terrorist in the stomach and kicked another one in the groin before he smashed their heads together, knocking them unconscious! He then ducked an oncoming terrorist's swing, put him in a headlock, and rapidly punched him in the face until he too fell unconscious!

"MAY THE GODS BE MERCIFUL TO YOU, IRKSOME RUFFIANS!" Rolf brutally and rapidly punched one terrorist in the stomach and just as another one tried to strike him from behind, he (Rolf) saw this, caught his arm, flipped him onto the ground and stomped on his neck! The first terrorist he dealt with, still injured, lunged at him, but Rolf grabbed his head and twisted it, forcing him into unconsciousness! Rolf then grabbed another oncoming terrorist by the throat and viciously choke-slammed him into unconsciousness!

Dealing with Ashton himself, Eddy ducked his swift kicks and blocked his rapid punches before he managed to strike him in the ribcage and in the jaw, but failed to block his (Ashton's) sucker-punch to his own jaw! Eddy swung his left at Ashton, but Ashton grappled onto the boy's arm and attempted to strike him with his (Ashton's) other arm, but Eddy grappled onto his arm, locking the two in a stalemate. They broke off and swiftly threw punches at one another, but ended up once again grappling onto each other's arms and trying to strangle one another with one of their respective hands! Ashton managed to land one clean blow to Eddy's face, but the boy topped that by using his left leg to kick Ashton in the head, breaking the stalemate!

Nazz heel-kicked one terrorist in the abdomen and elbowed one behind her in the ribcage before she knocked the latter unconscious with an elbow-blow to the neck! As for the first terrorist, she struck him in the jaw, head-slapped him, and knocked him out with a double-hammerfist! Another terrorist tried to deliver a blow to the back of her head, but she saw this, leg-swept him, knee-kicked him upwards, and kicked him across the air off-screen! She chuckled, "You know, for notorious bad guys, these jerks can't, like, fight for crap!"

"Course they can't fight! They're terrorists, babe! All they can do is shoot guns and blow shit up!" Kevin ran up to one terrorist and knocked him to the ground with an elbow-blow to the throat before he knocked that same terrorist out by performing a pile-driver! He then grabbed another terrorist by the shirt, kicked him in the groin, grabbed his head, and bashed it on his thigh before another terrorist came from behind him and successfully put him in a headlock! Kevin, however, didn't give up that easily, as he jumped up in the air and forced the terrorist to land painfully hard on his own back and release Kevin, who swiftly got up and knocked the terrorist out with a blow to the face!

Ashton tackled Eddy to the ground before he sprung himself back up, picked Eddy up by his shirt, and managed to land a blow to both sides of his jaw and abdomen before he landed one more blow to his left cheek and sent him off-screen! He attempted to land another one after he ran up to him, but Eddy blocked it, struck him in the neck, karate-chopped him on the neck, punched him in the ribs, grabbed his neck, and punched him off-screen (payback)!

Ed was dealing with the last three terrorists outside relatively quickly. He struck one terrorist in the face and in the abdomen before he grabbed him by the throat and tossed him off-screen. He then put another terrorist in a headlock, struck him in the ribcage and face, and kicked him into the sky like a kickball! The last one ran up to him and flashed a bright light in his eyes, making his vision blurry!

"LEAST YOU'RE SMARTER THAN YOUR CO-PARTNERS, SHITBAG!" Despite this, Ed could still see his enemy and managed to land a blow to his face! However, due to his blurred vision, he was unable to avoid a blow to his jaw, abdomen, and right cheek and was tackled to the ground. The terrorist then held Ed in a headlock, but because he had no chin, he slipped out of it and elbow-struck the terrorist three times in the ribcage! He then got up on his knees and was about to strike the terrorist once more, but he grabbed the boy's shirt and tossed him off-screen. By this time, Ed's vision had returned, and he took advantage of this by double-kicking the terrorist down and knocking him unconscious with a kick to the face! "My sister hits harder…literally!"

At the climax of their battle, Eddy and Ashton were staring each other down and carefully watching each other's movements. Ashton successfully distracted Eddy with a false punch and delivered a true one to his ribs, but when he attempted to do so a second time, Eddy caught and grappled onto his arm and viciously punched it before he successfully punched the man in the face! Ashton swiftly kicked Eddy a few feet back and delivered two more blows to his abdomen. Before he could deliver one to his face, the boy caught his fist, punched him in the throat, kicked him in the chest, and spun around once to kick him in the abdomen! He attempted to perform a roundhouse kick to the man twice, but failed both times when he ducked and back-bended! He then tried to strike Eddy one more time with a haymaker, but the boy ducked, jumped up in the air, and successfully performed a roundhouse kick to the back of Ashton's head, forcing him onto the ground and ending the fistfight!

"The hot blonde ain't to be touched…assclown!" Eddy spat, disgusted with his defeated opponent.

"All right, kid! Ya beat me!" Ashton snickered, implying that he wasn't giving up despite losing to Eddy in mortal combat. "But I still got, what'chu call 'em? Friends in low places!"

The kids all looked up and saw a black helicopter with the Death Shades' insignia (red skull-in-crossbones) painted on the right side flash its light on them as it descended towards the ground. The co-pilot released the ladder to allow Ashton to grab on and escape, much to Eddy's anger.

"By the way, you think you've won? The big guy wanted teenaged labor from Peach Creek and…well, let's just say that you and all your friends from the Estates aren't the only potential fish around here! Just the only ones we wanted, but didn't catch!" Ashton cackled, causing Eddy to frown at the thought that Ashton still won something out of all this despite his efforts to stop him. "See ya when I see ya…punk!"

Holding onto the copter as it flew off into the night sky, Ashton disappeared from the sight of all the kids.

"IF WE'RE PUNKS, HOW COME YOU RUNNIN'?" Nate shouted victoriously!

"We kicked ass!" Kevin and Nate high-fived.

"Ed kicked terrorists!" Ed squeezed Nate and Kevin in a bear hug, suffocating them!

"I have just contacted the authorities, everyone!" Edd spoke out the window. "They should be arriving momentarily!"

"Hey, guys, I'm glad we won and all, but I got the feeling we forgot something!" Holly scratched her head.

"Yeah, me too!" Maggie agreed.

"The re-opening night at the Sugar Bar!" Nazz gasped. "We, like, so totally forgot! We only have a minute to get there! We're so dead!"

"Not a chance, sweetheart!" Eddy looked at the camera. "Time to do another ultimate fourth-wall break and say all we have to do is shift the camera to the next set piece! Which is…the Sugar Bar! Cut, cameraman! Cut!"

* * *

><p>The screen cut to the mega-packed Sugar Bar, where the Bombshells (now wearing white sports-bra-like tank-tops that exposed their stomachs and had the words "SUGAR BAR" across them, white daisy-dukes, and white short-heeled boots) were dancing on the renovated bar table to music sung by their favorite singer "Kamille". The Eds were up front dancing while Nate, Kevin, and Rolf were in the back dancing along with Jonny, Cody, Brooke, Twan, Tori, Jimmy, Sarah (both of whom obviously snuck here), and many teenagers from the school and previous season! When the song reached the near end of the lyrics, the Bombshells gave their boyfriends the seductive "come here" finger before they complied. Eddy took the mike as he got up on the bar table and stood behind Nazz.<p>

"ALL RIGHT, THIS IS THE LAST ONE, SO LET'S MAKE IT COUNT!" Eddy yelled into the mike. "LET IT ALL OUT!"

The Eds danced (bumped and grinded) with their girlfriends on the bar table just as all the girls in the room sung Kamille's lyrics and the guys danced with the girls. Once the song reached its end lyrics, everyone ceased dancing and cheered wildly as the screen faded to black.

* * *

><p>The screen reopened in the X-House kitchen, where the tired Eds and Bombshells (who were back to wearing what they were before the event at the Sugar Bar) just walked in muttering.<p>

"So, big guy! I know this was a weird and wild night, but you…wanna have some quick fun?" Holly rubbed Ed's chest. "I could _totally_ put some energy on the side for you!"

"Love to do more than one dance with you, gravy cake, but I really need to get some sleep!" Ed went into the fridge and took out a root beer.

"Mmm…okay, since you _did_ come to my rescue! Well, it was actually Eddy, but he's got Nazz, but anyway!" Holly and Ed walked out of the kitchen and to the elevator to get to their respective rooms.

"You know, I _so _don't feel like crashing at my place tonight, so I think I'll stay here, too!" Maggie yawned. "Good night, muffin!"

"Sleep well, turtledove!" Edd and Maggie kissed each other good night before the latter walked out of the kitchen.

"Hell, all three of 'em got the right idea, but I gotta get somethin' off my chest right here and now." Eddy sighed, prompting his girlfriend and close friend to look at him. "Teague sent us a couple messages before he flew off. He said he already kidnapped some kids in Peach Creek for slave labor and then he said with his fucked up teeth "See ya when I see ya!" I dunno 'bout you guys, but I don't think what just went down tonight is over. Not by a long shot!"

"Like, what are you saying, Eddy?" Nazz placed her hand on his shoulder. "That Ashton will be back or something?"

"Why should it be him?" Eddy looked at her. "This big guy he's been talkin' about is bound to have more than one high guy in his pocket! Don't think we should get careless 'till we're sure this is done with!"

"I agree with Eddy, Nazz!" Edd joined in. "A notorious terrorist assemblage such as the Death Shades isn't inclined to abandon the individuals who temporarily bested them while they remain living and active! Tonight's events solidified our intertwined fates with these merciless hooligans until further notice! But I believe this is a conversation and situation worth paying attention to for another time, as I too feel rather, _yawn_, exhausted! Pleasant dreams, friends!"

"Later, Sockhead!" Eddy waved good night to Edd as he left for the elevator.

"Night, Double D!" Nazz waved good night to Edd. She turned her attention to Eddy, "And you! Did I give you an apology for not believing you about Ashton?"

"Yeah, but…I think we both know you owe me _more _than an apology, sweetheart!" Eddy raised his left eyebrow suggestively.

Nazz, knowing what he meant, pushed him against the counter, took his shirt off, and made-out with him passionately! Eddy grabbed Nazz's waist, picked her up, and sat her down on the counter. He unbuttoned her purple dress shirt to reveal her black bra as he continued to make out with her!

* * *

><p>The camera shifted to Rolf's room, which changed drastically over the years. He now had posters of women from his country dressed in wool andor fur bikinis on all four of his walls, a set of unnaturally large weights in one corner of his room, a lamp that was shaped like a cow standing up, and a king-sized bed. Rolf himself, exhausted like his friends, walked into the room humming a tune as he drunk a green liquid of some kind.

"Hallo!" Rolf noticed a large yellow envelope on his bed and opened it up. Once he pulled out what was inside, he changed his facial expression from jolly to disgruntled as he mentally read the stern note at the top, "WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YER DOING?"

"Is this a joke?" Rolf tossed the note to the side and spread out three sheets of apparent photos in his hand. He then developed a surprised facial expression and dropped the photos onto the floor! "So…it begins! Rolf smelled the arrival of this before he engaged in this, yes? No regrets!"

As Rolf flopped on his bed to rest, the camera slowly shifted to the three black and white photos on the floor. The first one depicted a nude Rolf (his midsection off-screen) holding an also nude long-haired girl in his arms (her face could not be seen and while her midsection was off-screen as well, part of her leg could be seen) in the shower, obviously engaging in sexual intercourse!

The second one depicted the girl on top of Rolf (although, only her bare back could be seen) with her arms around his neck and his arms around her body to cover up her rear!

The last one showed Rolf on top of her under his bed sheets as they kissed passionately! In this one, her face could be seen. It was none other than Kanker leader: Lee! However, Lee looked very different. She was much more stunning than she had been physically portrayed earlier on in the show. Her long red hair was beautifully curled and she appeared to be wearing heavy eyeliner and make-up. As the camera zoomed in on the last photo, the screen faded to black.

**End of episode 11**

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><p><strong>Tribute: Sugar Bar manager "Melissa Cervantes" is named for and modeled after another one of my high school friends "Melissa Briceno".<strong>

**Maggie's "Please stay with us, Holly" line is a direct mirrored reference to the episode "Sorry Wrong Ed", where Edd (Maggie's boyfriend) told Ed (Holly's boyfriend) the exact same thing!**

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><p><strong>Phoenix's note: All right, fans! Hope you enjoyed the season premiere"re-airing" of Edolescence! Next episode (while of course involving the Eds) will focus on the characters Twan, Jimmy, Brooke, and Lee! By the way, were you shocked to find out something was going on between her and Rolf and why Rolf doesn't seem to be upset about it (even though somebody else knows)? To find out more, you HAVE to stay tuned for episode 12!**

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><p><strong>Title reference: Feel the burn!<strong>

**Acknowledging the reference: Even though this mostly has to do with Ashton Teague (disguised as Gavin Pierce) forcing the kids to go through a brutal fitness regimen, it also refers to how the Death Shades feel about getting their butts kicked by a bunch of teenagers! **


	3. A Change in Ed pt 1

**Phoenix's note: **I'd say I updated a lot faster than I thought I would despite my life and job, wouldn't you? Oh, and by the way, a happy new year to you, folks and fans! This episode will explore the bond between Twan and Jimmy, which was only mentioned in the first season. It will also explore the origins of my OC Brooke and why Lee Kanker apparently has moved on from Eddy as evidenced in her…_ahem_…intimate photographs with Rolf! Please read, review, and enjoy!

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><p><strong>EPISODE 12: A CHANGE IN ED<strong>

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><p>The screen opened up on Jimmy's open garage very early in the morning, where Jimmy himself was successfully selling all of his childish and feminine things to little kids, especially girls. Just then, Twan walked out into the garage holding a large box of toys and yawned as he set it down next to Jimmy.<p>

"Thanks again for the help, Uncle Twan." Jimmy said with his deepened voice. Astonishingly, he no longer sported his retainer, as his teeth were as perfect as the day they were ruined! "Give you a cut for getting up so early just to help me do this."

"Not a problem, kiddo!" Twan sat in a chair next to Jimmy.

"Hey, I was thinking." Jimmy collected money from the last of the children and their parents who took his things. "You want to do some crazy daredevil-type stuff today? I don't know what it is Uncle Twan, but lately, I've started to notice some changes in me. I just found some hair under my arms, even if it is peach fuzz. Sarah seems…I mean, she looks…great to me! And I don't know if you've noticed, but I got something going on with my voice! What's happening to me? Am I some kind of caterpillar turning into a-"

"It's called "puberty", Jim! You finally hit it!" Twan replied, halfway asleep. "And I wish I could do some crazy stuff with you today, but my prick of a twin brother won't cut me some slack in the chore-pileup department! Like his lazy-ass don't already have all the fun in this show! I'll make it up to ya later today!"

"Aw, come on!" Jimmy placed a lid on his jar of earnings. "I got to break in this puberty thing as quick as…"

Jimmy turned to face Twan, only to realize that he had already fallen asleep! Seconds later, Jimmy could be seen dragging Twan into a guest room and barely managed to toss him onto the mattress.

"_Later, Uncle!"_ Jimmy whispered. _"If you can't help me with some daredevil stuff, I know who can!"_

In the kitchen, Jimmy's mother was washing dishes while his father was waiting for his coffee to finish warming up in the microwave despite it being the morning of a weekend. Mrs. Greene strongly resembled the former incarnation of Jimmy, having her hair curled, but long and having whitish skin. She also wore a feminine version of what he wore in the original series and stood 5'9. Mr. Greene resembled the present-day Jimmy and was wearing a black jersey with the hockey numbers "07" on the back, beige jeans, and white sneakers. He had combed white hair and stood 6'1.

"Good news, sweet cakes!" Mr. Greene grabbed his wife's waist. "My team just reached the championship and the game's not till the next few weeks so…_these next few days are gonna be real…heh, heh, heh…yummy…for us both!_"

"Oh, George!" Mrs. Greene squealed.

"Think of it, Nancy!" George kissed her neck. "You! Me! And-"

"Gross! People other than you two eat here!" Jimmy yelled from behind, eating a large muffin (**An Ed too Many**) he made. "And it doesn't help that there's a roach in here, either!"

To the surprise of both of his parents, Jimmy fearlessly stomped on the roach when it scurried towards him! In the past, he would've sooner scurried himself!

"What? James Clark Greene!" Nancy swung her hip. "Did _you_ just-"

"Murder a creepy crawly?" Jimmy interrupted proudly. "Sure as I find Sarah really hot!"

"What? You get your retainer removed after four years and you suddenly decide to spit out "murder" and "hot"?" Nancy chuckled.

"No, honey! It's that kid, Twan!" George smiled. "I told you he was a good influence! It's because of him that I can proudly say I have a son! Now, I don't have to threaten James to practice hockey…because now he's masculine enough to tell me "no"! Thanks to Twan!"

"About Twan, he's upstairs sleeping in the guest room!" Jimmy frowned, annoyed with his father's ranting. "Big sale was a big hit! Now, I'm going to go spend the green, which, I can proudly say, I made _way_ faster than any junior high hockey coach or nurse! No offense to you, mom!"

As Jimmy left the kitchen, Nancy smiled as George did the same despite the fact that his son subtly insulted him to his face!

The camera transitioned to Eddy's living room, where Ed could be seen turning the TV's channels frequently with a bored facial expression. In the kitchen, Eddy, Nazz, and Edd were looking at a news report on the latter's laptop. The report featured news anchor Neil Ritz (**Don't push your Ed**).

_"Yes sir, there is definitely something worth investigating here!"_ Neil continued. "_This is the third mass-kidnapping crisis this month, beginning with a busload of Red Pit High School football players and cheerleaders while on their way back home from a game in the Cherry Falls area! The second being two vans worth of teenagers vacationing in the Lemon Brooke area! And most recently, a house filled with party-going high school kids that never got home in the Peach Creek area! Popular rumors have it that members of the Death Shades, a notorious but small terrorist group, penetrated Peach Creek to abscond with-"_

Edd stopped the clip, "As nauseating as this is for me to point out, Mr. Teague might have been defeated in the physical battle, but he was victorious in the mental war. Perhaps this is what he meant when he-"

"'Course it is!" Eddy banged his fist on the table. "That piss-slurpin' assclown probably only planned on usin' us as back-up or extra provisions!"

"But for what?" Nazz wondered. "Ashton, like, made it clear and all about the whole slave labor thing, but he never said what he wanted to use us or all those other poor dudes and dudettes for!"

"Not Teague, sweetheart! He's just a guy followin' orders!" said Eddy. "This is this…big guy's plan! The Death Shades boss' plan! Too bad we can't beat Teague or 'im for some answers! They're probably _way_ out of our reach by now!"

"Hmm…I have a theory!" Edd pointed his finger up. "The director of the Death Shades, according to Mr. Teague himself, sent him to Peach Creek to forcibly assemble minors, correct? How else would he know that a quantity of minors such as ourselves exist unless he himself is familiar with our dwelling town?"

"Oh, man! You're right, Double D!" Nazz snapped her fingers. "Whoever this "big guy" is, if he knows this place as well as he thinks he does, that probably means he somehow keeps an eye on everything using someone not too far away!"

"Good deducin', baby!" Eddy put his arm around her waist. "And if we can somehow trace whoever's got tabs on us, we can fuck 'em up for some answers on these missing kids!"

"I'll get right on it, Eddy!" Edd got out of his seat. "It may take some time since Cody is concentrating on a revolutionary project, but I'm sure I can produce results!"

"And I, like, arranged an all-girls meeting at the X-house so me, Holly, Maggie, and Tori can get to know Brooke!" Nazz stood up. "Can you believe we've known her for a little more than 3 years without actually _knowing_ her?"

"Am I interrupting?" Jimmy walked into the kitchen. "Sorry, your door was unlocked and Ed was kinda into the TV!"

"Oh my lord!" Edd uttered surprised. "Your teeth are impeccable once again, Jimmy! I'm impressed!"

"Teeth? Get real, Double D!" Nazz folded her arms. "Notice his voice?"

"So, ya finally hit puberty, eh Jimbo?" Eddy smirked.

"That's why I'm here!" Jimmy explained. "Uncle Twan's got a buttload of chores to do and I'm trying to break in my puberty the best way possible: by trying to find as big a rush as I can! And next to Twan, you're absolutely the best person for the job!"

"Hmm…deep voice or peach-fuzz pit hair, think yer still too young to handle the kind of torment me and Ed designed specifically for ourselves!" Eddy raised his eyebrow. "Why don't you spend it lookin' at…"

Eddy suddenly got quiet when Jimmy suddenly held up his jar of garage sale earnings; "Wanna treat this like a business?"

"How 'bout a school so you can make this a business? Welcome to the Gates/Fuller Academy of Future Daredevils…Nephew!" Eddy put his arm around Jimmy's neck buddy-style. "Ed, get in here! We're goin' out!"

"I already go out, Eddy! With Holly!" Ed suddenly stepped out of Eddy's refrigerator as he ate cold pizza and his friends stared at him flabbergasted as the screen faded to black.

The screen reopened in an unknown person's quiet backyard, where the only thing that could be seen was a huge Great Dane sleeping in his doghouse. The dog's name was "Diesel", evidenced by the red paint on top of his doghouse.

On the other side of the backyard's fence, Eddy, Ed, and Jimmy were snickering mischievously as the latter held a stink-bomb launcher in his hands.

"All right, kid! This is one of only three lessons you need to pass to get out of the Gates/Fuller Daredevil Academy!" Eddy explained. "Yer gonna fire that launcher in Diesel's house and hop the fence before he can bite yer ass off! Understand?"

"Got it, Uncle Eddy!" Jimmy hopped the fence while Ed and Eddy sat on top of it. Jimmy ran out in front of the doghouse and cocked the launcher. Without a millisecond of hesitation, Jimmy fired the stink bomb into the doghouse before it exploded, covering the doghouse with green stinky smoke from the inside out and causing Diesel to wake up and whimper! Ed and Eddy laughed heartily until the former fell off and landed face first on a rock, forcing Eddy to laugh harder!

"That was awesome! Real fun!" Jimmy ran up to the two Eds. "I mean, did you see that?"

"And do you see that?" Ed stood up and pointed in the opposite direction, where we could see the enraged Diesel dashing towards the three boys!

"Quick, hop!" The three boys quickly jumped the fence before Diesel could bite any of them! "Yo is it me or was Scooby so pissed that he was gonna-"

"RUFF! RUFF! RUFF!" Diesel suddenly hopped the fence and dashed towards the three boys, almost hellbent on biting at least one of them!

"OH SHO—AAGGGHHH!" The boys ran out of the backyard and down the street as Diesel viciously barked and gave chase!

* * *

><p>Sitting on couches in the X-house living room, the Bombshells and Tori were speaking with each other on the subject of Brooke, whom they were determined to get to know. Officially anyway. In front of the girls were two small cloth-covered baskets of cookies.<p>

"I mean, for real!" Tori continued. "I've known the girl as long as you have, but she's so…cloaked! Like, she's there, but then she's not!"

"I know, right!" Nazz added. "When we, like, have group assignments in class, she always likes working alone and other than chilling with Nate and teaching Jimmy and Sarah how to ice-skate, keeps away from all of us!"

"I'm _totally_ glad you pulled this whole thing together so we can re-meet this chick, Nazz, but where is she again?" Holly wondered.

"Upstairs trying to bring the truth out or whatever she said." Tori replied. "While we wait, think I'll have one of these cookies she brought!"

"Think you _won't_!" Maggie slapped Tori's hand away. "We're _so _not eating until everyone's here! I know you're trying to satisfy your urges since you made yours and Kevin's relationship platonic, but you should have enough manners and strength to fight them off, Tori!"

Annoyed with Maggie's reprimanding, Tori flicked her off! Just then, the elevator sounded and Brooke walked out to sit next to Tori. However, something was physically different about her. Her hair, which was previously thought to be naturally red, was in fact a light brunette color that matched her dazzling brown eyes! The four girls were surprised at this.

"What? This is the real me! Let's eat!" Brooke took the cloths off of both baskets and revealed chocolate cookies with N&Ns (**You're in for an Ed**) baked inside one of them.

"All right! I'm hungry!" Holly reached for the basket that lacked N&Ns within.

"No, Holly!" Brooke grabbed Holly's hand. "Don't think you'll like that basket! That one's for all of you, not me!"

"Why?" Holly asked.

"Sugar-free snacks have a bad taste to everyone but the people used to them like me!" Brooke took a sugar-free cookie and bit into it.

"Why do you eat sugar-free cookies? To stay in shape or something?" Tori took an N&N cookie.

"Very good, Tori." Brooke took another bite. "Price for a nice body is a change of taste for women in my family. Besides, when you've got a man, you can't just look any kind of way!"

"That is seriously how I feel!" Nazz smiled surprised.

"Tell us more about yourself, Brooke!" Maggie took a cookie. "Like, what kind of childhood you had and…what made you want to be a redhead?"

"Hmm…have to say it was a good thing I baked a lot of cookies!" Brooke finished off her first cookie.

* * *

><p>Elsewhere, Eddy, Ed, and Jimmy were continuing their day of mischievousness by sitting in a tall tree in front of a blue house as they snickered deviously!<p>

"'Kay, Nephew! Time for lesson 2!" Eddy explained. "When a girl annoys the crap outta you and yer friends and you know full well you can't hit her '_cause _she's a girl, that don't mean you turn yer back on the chance to teach her a lesson! Who's house is this?"

"Charlotte's! You know, the hot, but shallow popular freshman girl who qualifies for the Devil's daughter?" Jimmy answered.

"Glad you know your enemy, kiddo!" Eddy roughed Jimmy's head up. "What's she doin', Lumpy?"

Using heat-seeking goggles (**Ed n Seek, Breaking up is hard to Ed**), Ed looked into Charlotte's house and saw the silhouette of the young girl in her shower.

"Taking a shower, Eddy!" Ed replied.

"Huh, looks like you'll get more than one thrill outta this, Jimmy! Now, go make your Uncle proud!" Eddy pointed to the window.

Jimmy slipped on a demon clown mask and snuck into a bedroom on the second floor via the window. He tiptoed out of the room and into the hallway, where he looked to his right and heard Charlotte singing in the shower behind the door!

Inside her shower, Charlotte (her body off-screen from the bottom of her neck down) continued to sing until she heard the sound of a door slam! Too frightened to move the shower curtain, she simply yelled fearfully, "Who-whose there?"

Jimmy, still wearing the demon clown mask, suddenly stood up and moved the curtain out of the way to perform a perfectly convincing evil laugh to successfully terrify Charlotte!

"AGH! AGH! AGH! I'M TOO YOUNG AND SEXY TO BE RAPED BY A CLOWN! AGH! AGH!" Charlotte fell into the tub, pulling down her curtain and covering her body in the process!

"YOU'RE MINE, NOW!" Jimmy cackled as he reached for Charlotte, who kicked him away some inches!

Charlotte, out of uncontrolled fear and rage, ripped the towel rack out of the wall and proceeded to chase Jimmy out of the bathroom and down the hall with only her shower curtain censoring her body!

"GET BACK HERE, YOU CREEPY BASTARD!" Charlotte chased Jimmy into the same room he came through before the latter closed the door behind him and in her face! While this did not keep the girl from kicking the door down, she was kept from going another inch when she realized that Jimmy was now gone, much to her relief and frustration! She slammed the door and went back to the bathroom!

Sliding down off of the tree, the three boys were laughing hysterically, the two Eds having heard the entire thing!

"Shallow even when she's about to be "raped by a demon clown"!" Ed held his ribs!

"Gotta give ya points for gettin' her to chase ya while she was still naked!" Eddy held his gut laughing!

"Let's hope she was too scared to notice my clothes!" Jimmy pulled the mask off.

"RUFF! RUFF! RUFF!" Diesel suddenly dashed on-screen to continue giving chase to the three boys!

"Ed, I thought you gave him a chew toy and tied him up before we came here!" Jimmy stepped back terrified.

"He must've ate them!" Ed did the same.

"Wait, this stupid mutt _eats _toys? What if he tastes meat? Us meat! RUN FOR IT!" Eddy zipped off-screen!

"AGH! AGH! AGH! AGGGGH!" The three boys ran down the street as Diesel chased them…again!

* * *

><p>Meanwhile at the Kankers' trailer, Lee just walked in with an exhausted facial expression. Lee was now much more stunning than she ever was before. Her long red hair was beautifully curled, was past her shoulders, and no longer covered her eyes, which were covered with light-blue eye-liner. Her attire was also different, but in the shadow of her previous one. She now wore a white T-shirt with a red jacket and more feminine red jeans &amp; white sneakers. After she hung her jacket on the rack, Lee turned around to see that her sisters were angrily glaring at her!<p>

"What?" Lee spoke first, her voice no longer rough, but feminine!

"_What_?" Marie folded her arms bitterly. "You shake yer ass for the foreign neighbor and all you can say is "what"?"

"Excuse me?" Lee raised her eyebrow, outraged with her sisters' confronting of her.

"We know all about you and that tall country boy!" May handed her (Lee) three copies of the photos she and Marie took that depicted her (Lee) and Rolf in intimate, sexual positions!

"What I do with my time these days is your business only when I say so! I'm the oldest, remember?" Lee ripped the photos into little pieces.

"Whether you open your mouth or not, we're makin' this our business, _big_ _sister_!" Marie retorted. "I thought you were all about yer spiky-haired dream king! I mean, how're we supposed to be on the same page if-"

"Okay, you need to wake the hell up, ho!" Lee snapped, but remained calm. "What we've been doing for the longest was retarded and pointless! Eddy's already someone's dream king and I'm through tryin' to get in the way of that! Screw it!"

Lee stormed past Marie, but stopped when May gently grabbed her arm, "What happened to you, Lee? We're just curious!"

Lee got her arm free and looked into the kitchen in silence. She then looked back at her sisters, "All right, how 'bout this? You two finish your chores, which by the way I know you shirked just to get in my face and hope to get me to do as blackmail for those stupid pictures, and I'll tell you everything you wanna know!"

"Why're you soundin' like this whole thing's got somethin' to do with us?" Marie continued to keep her arms folded.

"Maybe 'cause it freakin' does!" Lee grabbed both of her sisters' shoulders and pushed them in front of her. "Now, get to work!"

* * *

><p>At the swimming hole (<strong>Hot-Buttered Eds<strong>), Ed, Eddy, and Jimmy were sitting in a canoe in the middle of the body of water, preparing to complete their day of thrills!

"Last lesson, Jimbo!" Eddy explained. "You heard of gettin' off the ground and into the air! But'chu ain't heard of gettin' out the water, into the air, and onto the ground, have ya?"

"Quit yakking and get us going!" Jimmy demanded excitedly.

"You heard 'im, big guy! Get us up so we can get the heck back down!" Eddy rubbed his hands together.

"Oh, boy! Oh, boy! Oh, boy!" Ed clapped his hands towards the water and created a shockwave so powerful that the entire swimming hole became one big whirlpool! The three boys were sucked into the center of the water before they were shot out of it like a volcano and glided through the sky as they screamed! The boys then landed right into the cul-de-sac, where the canoe broke apart and the three boys fell on their backs laughing!

"Congratulations, Jimmy Greene!" Eddy got Jimmy up. "Yer a graduate of the Gates/Fuller Academy of Future Daredevils!"

"Wish school could be quick and fun like that! Whoo!" Jimmy stretched.

"RUFF! RUFF! RUFF!" Diesel, once again spotting the three boys, chased them down the street as they screamed loudly!

"Enough is enough, Rex!" Ed took out a long rope, pounced on Diesel (created an EEnE-style fighting cloud as a result), and used it as a makeshift leash to subdue the dog by tying him to a streetlight!

"Nice goin', Monobrow!" Eddy stopped in his tracks when he saw that Diesel would definitely not be chasing them again!

"Just make sure he doesn't eat the rope like he did the last four times!" Jimmy suggested.

"Sounds like you had one helluva day, Jim!" Twan suddenly walked on-screen as he held hands with Caitlin (his girlfriend since **Free as an Ed**).

"Uncle Twan! Aunt Caitlin!" Jimmy gave Twan some dap and hugged Caitlin. "Finish sleepin'?"

"Couldn't! Yer dad woke me up to help 'im pack his stuff for some out-of-town trip!" Twan rolled his eyes. "Caitlin here made it all better with a lap-nap and a death threat to Nate if he didn't do my chores! Not that he did 'em!"

"With Caitlin, that means "Yeah! I slept pretty darn great!"!" Jimmy joked, causing Caitlin to blush.

"Well, kiddo, it'd be pretty darn great if you didn't sleep early tonight, cause I've got somethin' big planned for yer fueled-up puberty engine! It's called…" Twan took out a poster that depicted a bulky, shiny blue-green robot and an equally bulky yellow-orange robot engaging in hand-to-hand combat! "DROID CARNAGE!"

Jimmy was overjoyed with what he heard and saw, which put a warm smile on Twan's face and a visibly upsetting one on Caitlin's!

"You mean that mega-ultra-supremely badass federation about robots duking it out? Made by the sons of the mega-ultra-supremely rich sons of Dee Antonucci?" Ed went into an excited rant.

"Me, Ed, Nate, Kev, and Double D got tickets to see tonight's fight! It's gonna be epic!" Eddy uttered excitedly, but calmly.

"Double D?" Twan rolled the poster back up. "He finally decided to grow a pair and go to this thing?"

"We're draggin' 'im there!" Eddy folded his arms. "Bout time he gets some hair on his chest! Even if it's just peach fuzz! Speakin' of the sockhead, we gotta check his…uh…homework! Yeah, that'll work! C'mon, Fuller!"

The two Eds walked off-screen to go join their fellow Ed, leaving only Twan, Caitlin, and Jimmy on the scene.

"Well, we got some hours before we gotta get goin', Jim!" Twan looked at his phone. "Wanna watch TV or somethin' till we get lost?"

"Hours? Oh, man!" Jimmy rolled his eyes, wanting to see some action now.

"Uh, Jimmy? Will you excuse me and Twan for a quick second?" Caitlin, still having an upset facial expression, grabbed Twan's ear and dragged him over to a streetlight to talk to him.

"Antwan Franklin Bennett, you promised me you were going to take a break from that droid carnage stuff!" Caitlin reprimanded. "Sooner or later, you're going to end up being one of those guys who cancel their lives for cheap, dangerous thrills!"

"Hey, hey, hey! That's not gonna happen, baby. 'Sides, this is for the nephew, not me. Still, don't pull me from gettin' cash if I get it." Twan grabbed Caitlin's hands and gave her a puppy dog-type stare.

"Don't do that." Caitlin looked away as she smiled uncontrollably.

"Do what?" Twan asked nonchalantly.

"You know what." Caitlin pushed Twan back some inches.

"I take it you two are done?" Jimmy walked on the scene.

"Yeah! Let's go chill before we bail!" Twan put one arm around Jimmy's neck and the other around Caitlin's waist as they walked off-screen.

* * *

><p>At the X-house, the girls had all finished their cookies, but were still dishing questions at Brooke.<p>

"Get the heck out of here!" Tori asked, "The whole time you were a redhead was just one big phase?"

"That's right, Tori!" Brooke answered. "At the start of junior high school, I saw that most of the girls in the school had red hair, dyed and natural. I didn't dye mine red because I wanted to fit in. I dyed it because that's what most of the boys liked. Six years later, had to dump the look for a certain boy who said nothing's better than natural or your own feelings. Such a sweetheart."

"I still, like, can't believe you're from Seattle, Washington of all places!" Nazz proceeded to ask, "I've been wanting to go there for the longest! Heard the coolest events are the hip-hop dance competitions! And you said you've entered in all of them and won three times before you moved here?"

"Heck yeah." Brooke replied. "Of course, not to brag or anything, but the best part wasn't dancing. It was getting the awards from Jonesy Ray himself. And the reason why I didn't join any step team or anything when I moved here was because with a new town and all, I felt I needed to look for another hobby."

"But, no offense to you, you haven't really done anything but cheerlead." Holly pointed out. "You _totally _got that "I prefer to be alone" vibe orbiting you and I think you've been that way both before and after that bird episode."

"You're right, Holly. I did keep myself distant from all of you both before and after that day, but with a reason I hope you can respect." Brooke admitted, "I kept myself distant from you guys in the first place because I wanted to see if whether or not you were the kind of people I want to associate with or the kind I would want to avoid. So, I _was_ watching you guys, just from somewhere you can't see. When you guys checked out okay, I was glad to see that you could fit one more into your group, but…after that Cherry Falls incident and two of the episodes before that one, I pulled away again because of all the weird stuff that started happening again. I knew you guys would do anything to get things back to normal and I didn't want to help because I would only just get in the way. Shoot, if anything, I'd say I'm the only one who qualifies for the damsel-in-distress!"

"That's bullcrap, Brooke! You're strong. You just haven't unlocked that strength yet. Don't rush it. It'll happen. Just give it time!" Maggie advised, creating a positive reaction in Brooke. "But I'm still more interested in the whole hip-hop dancing part of this conversation! _Gasp! _We should _so_ bring Brooke on as our dance choreographer at the Sugar bar, girls! We'd be able to keep everything fresh so people will keep coming!"

"You know, that's not a bad idea, Maggie!" Nazz thought for a moment. "What do you say, Brooke? It'd give you the chance to re-ignite your old hobby and stay out of solitary!"

"Hmm…ah, what the hell!" Brooke stood up and brushed her shirt off. "Be at my house tonight at eight!"

"Awesome!" The Bombshells and Tori agreed in unison.

* * *

><p>At his desk in his room, Edd was still working on his laptop in an attempt to locate a trail that would take him and his friends to the heart of the Death Shades and the mystery surrounding the missing teenagers in the state.<p>

"Spectacular!" Edd sat back in his seat relieved.

"Hyah!" Eddy kicked the door open before he and Ed walked in.

"Anything on the enemy yet, Double D?" Ed asked smiling. "'Cause you know what they say! Knowing is half the battle!"

"Exceptionally well-put, Ed!" Edd replied. "Having mentally assimilated the recent reports surrounding this Death Shades throng and certain locations within the state that have recently been given considerable attention, I have come to suspect that our newfound nemesis might be using certain buildings as a masquerade for more sinister ambitions! To put it simply, gentlemen, quite soon, we shall be seeing our terrorist friends again!"

"Did…did Double D just say "thong"?" Ed chuckled softly.

"Proud of ya, Double D!" Eddy wrapped his arm around Edd's head. "But this don't change a thing! We're puttin' hair on yer chest at the droid carnage fight tonight if it kills ya! Let's go!"

"Eddy!" Edd was yanked off-screen by Eddy!

* * *

><p>In the Kankers' trailer, Lee was sitting quietly at the kitchen table with her legs crossed before her sisters walked up to her.<p>

"Done, _Queen_ Lena!" Marie bitterly folded her arms. "You can get off your ass and show us something now!"

"Better not find anything under the bed, either!" Lee got up almost threateningly before the screen shifted to the girls' bedroom minutes later, where Lee had just now slammed a huge black trunk on the bed.

"Keep this between us, all right? I mean it!" Lee demanded.

"Okay, I'm getting really sick of yer bossi-" Marie started irritated.

"You got it, Lee!" May slapped Marie's mouth shut.

"Good girls! 'Cause what I have here is going to, in some way, hit ya hard!" Lee snapped the padlock off of the trunk with her bare hand. She opened the trunk to reveal to her shocked sisters three oversized, white DVD cases with the names "Lena", "Maria", and "Mayanne" respectively written on each. As the camera zoomed in on the DVD cases, the screen faded to black.

* * *

><p><strong>Did you know: Jimmy calling Twan "Uncle Twan" and Caitlin "Aunt Caitlin", is right out of "Ed in a nutshell", where he called Eddy "Uncle Eddy" while under his wing. In the episode, "If it smells like an Ed", Jimmy said that his father made him practice hockey, which leads me to suspect that he is a huge fan of the sport.<strong>

* * *

><p><strong>Phoenix's note: Okay, so I didn't get to flesh out Twan and Jimmy's bond like I wanted to this half, but I definitely will next half and besides, at least you got to find out about Brooke's origins and can look forward to what the mysterious DVDs have to do with the Kanker sisters as well as Lee's transformation into a lovely, yet still firm teenaged girl! Stay tuned!<strong>


	4. A Change in Ed pt 2

**Phoenix's note: **Sorry I couldn't update last week like I wanted to fans, but I had some issues with the power at my house and had to take care of a few personal needs. Anyway, please read, review, and enjoy the second (and quite long) half of episode 12!

* * *

><p><strong>WARNING! This episode contains strong sexual content for the sake of the plotline!<strong>

* * *

><p>The screen opened up in a wide hallway with little light, where Jimmy could be seen following Twan.<p>

"So, what's the story on this Droid Carnage stuff, Uncle Twan?" Jimmy asked. "Other than robots killing each other?"

"Rumors got it, the Antonucci bros, like all rich kids, got bored with their cash real fast!" Twan explained. "The day before it even came out, they saw the Robot Rebel Ranch sequel and got an idea; why not have machines beat the crap outta each other for fun? Four months later, after gettin' the OK from some legal guys, Droid Carnage hit the scene and kept gainin' fighters and fans for over a year!"

"By fighters, you mean "robots"?"

"Yeah, but not just them! Humans gotta get in on the action, too!"

"So…it's not really _just _robots fighting?"

"Hell, no! What, you wanna live in a Terminator world or somethin'? Anything can happen with machines with handheld controllers, Jim!"

"Hey, where are we going, anyway?"

"Where do ya think? To get our boy!"

Twan and Jimmy entered a room that the former had a key to. Hooked up against the wall inside was, to Jimmy's amazement, the colossal 7'6 blue-green robot he saw on Twan's Droid Carnage poster earlier on! Twan smiled proud at the robot before he noticed Jimmy's astonished facial expression.

"Jim Greene, say hello to my Carnage Drone, The Ripper!"

"Y-You mean, you're…"

"The one who's gonna win the main event tonight...again? You bet! Open, big guy!"

"_Voice recognized! Welcome, Antwan Bennett!" _A computerized voice sounded before Twan's droid (The Ripper) opened up like a suit so that Twan can enter it.

"How again could you afford this?"

"Bought a membership card the day before the business launched!" Twan stepped into The Ripper.

"This is so…cool!"

"What'd be even more badass is if I got to fight Black Zero, the Droid Carnage reigning champ, instead of all these chumps!"

Jimmy thought to himself for a second before the screen cut to the Droid Carnage arena, which was heavily packed and featured a combat ring three times the size of an average one! Among the many teenagers and young adults in the arena were the Eds, Kevin, and Nate, whom were at the very front of the ring on the north side. Ed was the only one with food, specifically a huge bowl of Scottish-haggis gravy (**All Eds are off**).

"My! My!" Edd looked around the arena surprised. "This stadium certainly houses many adolescent citizens we've never had the pleasure of encountering!"

"That's 'cause half these guys are Lemon Brook Dicks!" Kevin pointed out. "What you can't tell by how some got moon-huge moles and fucked up teeth?"

"Shh! I think the last fight is about to start!" Ed licked his entire face cleaning of Scottish-haggis gravy, having put his entire face in the bowl to chow down.

"He's right! Here come two of Antonucci's boys right now!" Eddy pointed to two Caucasian boys with black hair, who apparently filled the respective roles of the referee and the fighter announcer (the older and taller one being the latter while the younger and five-inches shorter one being the former), as they stepped into the ring. The tall one, named "Homer" as evident with the nametag on his silk jacket, reached for the large microphone in the air while his brother, named "Jason" as evident on his own nametag, stood in a corner.

"_LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! YOU GOT YOUR FIVE-COURSE DINNER AND LIKED IT A LOT! BUT NOW, IT'S TIME FOR…DESSERT!"_ Homer yelled into the mike, prompting excited yells from every person in the arena (save for Edd of course)! _"ALL THE WAY FROM LEMON BROOK, THE ONLY OTHER CHALLENGER TO BE ON A FUCKING AWESOME STREAK TONIGHT, GIVE IT UP FOR SHAWN "DEADBLADE" MCKELLAN!" _

As half the crowd (obviously the Lemon Brook half) cheered, the McKellan gang (**Get your Ed in the game, You're in for an Ed**) trudged down a long aisle. Ryan and Justin respectively stood on the right and left side of Shawn, who was inside his colossal 7'7 yellow-orange drone (named "Deadblade", which was also shown on the poster Twan had earlier)!

Shawn entered the ring and started jumping around and throwing random punches in the air arrogantly as his suit made robotic sounds.

"_AND NOW, THE PEACH CREEK NATIVE FIGHTER WITH A STREAK JUST AS FUCKING INTENSE AS DEADBLADE!" _Homer continued. _"LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, GIVE IT UP FOR, THE PEACH CREEK/LEMON BROOK UNDERGROUND DRONE COMBAT CHAMPION, ANTWAN "THE RIPPER" BENNETT!"_

Half the crowd (the Peach Creek crowd, including Eddy, Ed, Nate, and Kevin and excluding Edd) cheered wildly as Twan, in his drone, danced toughly down the aisle opposite Shawn's with Jimmy by his side, who did the same. Twan entered the ring and rather than jumping around arrogantly like Shawn, just stood there and folded his arms as his suit (Twan's) made robotic sounds.

"All right, you two! You know the rules!" Jason ran between the two fighters, who kneeled down to listen to him. "Whoever's down for more than five seconds or gets their butt kicked outta the ring, cryin' or not, loses! Now bop knuckles and wait for the bell!"

Twan held out his knuckles while Shawn aggressively punched them, much to the former's anger! Jason then signaled for his brother to continue on.

"_NOW, LET'S GET READY FOR…DROID CARNAGE!" _Homer pointed to some promoters at the desk, who rang the bell!

The fight was more intense than any fight with just humans. Shawn lunged at Twan and kicked him in the chest and into the corner before he began throwing rapid punches at him, not managing to land a single successful one due to his (Twan's) forearm blocking!

"C'MON, TWAN!" Jimmy and Nate yelled!

"HE'S GOT HIM PINNED LIKE A KNIFE TO A HAND!" Ed stood up surprised and accidentally tossed his gravy through the air before it landed on a Lemon Brook patron, much to his anger and Kevin's laughter!

"Gotta get outta the corner!" Twan muttered to himself inside the drone-suit.

"Think you had more than enough, so I'll just finish it!" Shawn started to deliver the finishing blow, but Twan quickly thwarted this with a kick to Shawn's abdomen before he (Twan) jumped at him and successfully delivered a blow to his right cheek, causing his (Shawn's) drone-suit to make a loud static noise!

"THERE YA GO! THERE YA GO!" Eddy cheered Twan on!

"TAKE HIS ASS DOWN!" Nate added.

"MAKE HIM EAT THROUGH HIS OWN ROBOT'S MOUTH!" Ed joined in, prompting his friends to look at him strange.

Twan successfully delivered a blow to Shawn's right cheek before he (Twan) ducked to avoid a blow from Shawn's left and responded with a blow to both of his (Shawn's) cheeks!

"ASSHOLE!" Enraged, Shawn swiftly landed a blow to both of Twan's cheeks before he delivered four just as swift blows to his abdomen, forcing him (Twan) back in the corner and for his drone-suit to make a lot of static noise!

"Oh, man! He's back in the corner!" Kevin grabbed his hair. "C'MON, TWAN! GET THAT PUNK!"

"YOU GOTTA GET OUTTA THERE, TWAN!" Jimmy yelled, tempted to hop onto the ring and assist (but knowing that that would be unwise).

Once again realizing that using his fists was not an option so long as he used his arms to forearm-block his opponent's rapid punches, Twan knee-kicked Shawn in the abdomen and successfully delivered a blow to his right cheek, but before he could do so again, Shawn delivered a punch to Twan's left cheek and sent him out into the middle of the ring!

"FINISH THIS GUY, SHAWN!" Ryan cheered Shawn on.

"YEAH, THAT PRICK DON'T LOOK LIKE HE CAN TAKE ANYMORE!" Justin joined in! "PUT 'IM OUTTA HIS DAMN MISERY ALREADY!"

"YOU AIN'T NO CHAMP! YOU AIN'T NO DAMN CHAMP!" Shawn delivered a successful blow to Twan's abdomen, right and left cheeks, and a blow to the back of his head to send him near his corner again! It would appear as if Twan was finished, given the way he was fighting tonight, but suddenly, Shawn's drone-suit started to emit more noticeable external static, but Shawn himself didn't care!

Acting on this, he tried to deliver another blow to Twan, but Twan foiled this attempt when he head-slapped Shawn, forcing him to stumble backwards as his entire drone-suit started to get covered in static!

"YEAH! WHAT'CHU GOT TO SAY NOW, SMART-ASS?" Taking advantage of Shawn's predicament, Twan delivered a potent blow to both of Shawn's cheeks before he delivered a powerful uppercut that sent him (Shawn) flying out of the ring and onto the aisle he (Shawn) walked down, ending the fight!

"YEAH! THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKIN' ABOUT! 'BOUT TIME HE SHUT UP! BUTTERED TOAST PARTY FOR TWAN, GUYS! BRAVO, TWAN! BRAVO!" The Eds, Kevin, and Nate praised Twan for his victory along with all other Peach Creek natives!

"_WINNER AND STILL YOUR CHAMPION FOR PEACH CREEK/LEMON BROOK UNDERGROUND DRONE COMBAT, ANTWAN "THE RIPPER" BENNETT!" _Homer quickly got in the ring and announced as Jason "held" Twan's arm up! Fired up after Twan's victory, Jimmy swiftly climbed into the ring and took the microphone from Homer, _"YOU THOUGHT THAT WAS COOL? YOU THOUGHT TWAN WAS TOUGH JUST THEN?" _

"What's Jimbo doin'?" Eddy scratched his head as his friends shrugged.

"_MY PAL TWAN CHALLENGES THE REIGNING PROFESSIONAL CHAMPION OF DROID CARNAGE TO A WINNER-TAKE-ALL FIGHT RIGHT HERE IN PEACH CREEK! THAT'S RIGHT! THE RIPPER VERSES BLACK ZERO!" _Jimmy yelled, causing a mixture of reactions from the audience! _"YOU WANT A FIGHT? THIS IS __**THE**__ FIGHT! RIPPER! RIPPER! RIPPER…" _

Jimmy's starting of a chain of chants spread to Eddy and Nate first. Followed by Ed, Kevin, and Edd. Soon, every Peach Creek resident there chanted "Ripper" before even the Lemon Brook patrons followed suit! The brothers Homer and Jason looked at each other as if what was happening was some sort of wild dream! From her large computer screen, Caitlin gasped and couldn't help but smile before the screen faded to black.

The screen reopened in a parking lot, where Twan and Jimmy could be seen power-walking towards the former's car.

"Can't believe ya did that!" Twan chuckled to himself. "Guess those daredevil lessons Eddy and Ed gave ya did more than I hoped!"

"Well, you said you wanted to get a fight with the champ, Uncle Twan!" Jimmy shrugged. "What, you didn't know that all ya had to do was ask?"

"As if they'll gimme a fight with that monster, Jim!" Twan rolled his eyes. "Do you even know who operates Black Zero?"

"No. Who?" Jimmy asked interested.

"Leon Antonucci! Homer and Jason's big brother and the schemer of the whole Droid Carnage sport!" Twan answered. "While his brothers go as referee and announcer to every game in the freakin' country to keep most of the money for 'emselves, Leon's busy keepin' 'imself and Zero in shape for every fight…or pummeling!"

"Twan, you're the toughest guy I've met! I know this 'cause that's part of the reason I like chilling with you!" Jimmy touched Twan's shoulder. "You'd beat the living crap out of that Leon rich boy with quarter-effort!"

"Not with my skills, Jim! You saw me tonight!" Twan sighed. "I could barely take down McKellan! Even with my common "wear 'im out" strategy! To beat a beast like Leon's Zero, I need a helluva whole lotta fightin' potential!"

"You bet'cher ass, Bennett!" Shawn and his gang stepped in front of the two boys menacingly. "'Cause you and I both know too well that lady luck wanted you tonight!"

"Whadoya want, McKellan?" Twan asked annoyed.

"Well, Deadblade got fried pretty bad and we just found out that we didn't have enough cash to refill our membership cards and have 'im fixed up fer free!" Shawn explained. "But, we thought with you winnin' again, you outta have some green on ya, so why not come to you?"

"It's a game, man. Quit bein' a sore loser and takin' it out on guys like me! It ain't right!" Twan responded annoyed just as Jimmy looked to his left and saw, in the great distance, the Eds, Nate, and Kevin walk out of an arena door and converse.

"Eddy!" Jimmy subtly uttered under a false cough, causing the McKellan gang to look at him and Twan to look around the lot until he noticed his friends in the distance.

"And you!" Shawn pointed to Jimmy. "For a Peach Creek punk freshman who just punched puberty, you've got some balls callin' out Zero with cameras on! Lemme guess! You did some crazy shit today when ya found out ya got peach fuzz pits?"

"Look, McKellan!" Twan turned his attention to Shawn. "If I give ya our green, will ya step off?"

"Huh? Oh, yeah! Sorry, but no. Sure ya beat me and all, but us Lemon Brookers go by a rule! We don't put up with losin' unless the guy we lose to loses somethin' too! And we ain't talkin' about money so much as physical health!" Shawn cracked his knuckles.

"We're both a little old for this shit, man!" Twan took out the handful of money he won in the fight. "Just take the money and-"

Twan never finished his sentence. Realizing there was no reasoning with the McKellan gang, he and Jimmy quickly dashed away from the bullies and towards their friends in the distance! Unfortunately for them, the McKellan gang gave chase! Though originally staying far ahead of the Lemon Brook roughnecks, they eventually and ultimately catch up with the two, immediately beginning to severely beat up Twan (Jimmy was just grabbed and thrown onto the ground)! Ryan picked Twan up and held him into place so that Shawn could attack him.

"Where's The Ripper now, Champ? Huh?" Shawn viciously struck Twan in the stomach thrice!

"Where ya goin', peach fuzz?" Justin pushes Jimmy hard onto the ground before he picked him up by the back of his neck! "Not like you can help that loser!"

"Don't call my friend a loser!" Jimmy viciously broke Justin's nose by bashing the back of his head against his face, forcing him (Justin) to drop him (Jimmy)!

"YOU LITTLE FUCK!" Justin started to stomp on Jimmy.

"Forget him! Get Bennett!" Shawn and Ryan continued to punch and kick a downed Twan!

Several feet away, the Eds, Kevin, and Nate continued to converse until Ed, looking at the corner of his left eye only by sheer accident, noticed the scuffle in the distance!

"Hey, what's going on over there?" Ed pointed in Twan and Jimmy's direction, causing his friends to look in that direction as well.

"Whoa! The worst beating I've ever seen! Not even I gave ya one that bad, Eddy!" Kevin looked on in horror.

Ignoring Kevin, Eddy looked at the scuffle closely to see if he knew who the kids were. "Hey, that looks like…" He squinted once before he saw Jimmy get tossed off of Ryan's back after he jumped on it!

"JIMMY!" Eddy sprinted towards the scuffle with his four friends right behind him!

"RAGGH! GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM JIM!" Fed-up, Twan suddenly sprung himself up, brutally punched Justin in the stomach, Ryan in the nose, and Shawn in both the face and the ribs! But before he could throw another punch, Justin caught his fist from behind, spun him around, and punched him over in Ryan's direction before Ryan punched Twan to the ground! The two proceeded to kick both him and Jimmy until…

"All right, stop! QUIT!" Shawn stopped his friends from attacking the two again. "Grab their cash and let's go!"

Ryan and Justin started to reach into both Twan and Jimmy's pockets to steal their winnings, but were foiled when Nate and Kevin jumped on the screen to respectively punch Ryan and Justin away just as Eddy kicked Shawn himself off-screen!

"Nate! Kev! Double D! Grab those two, will ya?" Eddy ordered as he dealt with Shawn.

Nate and Kevin grabbed the badly-bruised Twan while Edd grabbed the less-severely bruised Jimmy so that their friends could deal with the McKellan gang.

"Wedgification…hold the onions!" Ed gave simultaneous wedgies to both Justin and Ryan as they screamed in pain before he spun them around EEnE-style by their underwear, smashed their bodies together, and threw them into a nearby gate-fence, bruising them!

"Ain't one beatin' enough, McKellan?" Eddy cracked his neck to confront Shawn, despite knowing that he (Shawn) was no match for him (Eddy).

"You tell me, Gates!" Shawn swung at Eddy, but Eddy, being faster than Shawn, swiftly grabbed his (Shawn's) shirt and savagely head-butt him in the nose before he (Eddy) punched him in the throat just as quickly! Shawn tried to throw another punch, but Eddy effortlessly blocked it, punched Shawn in the jaw, grabbed his neck, and tossed him into a four-door sedan, breaking its window right window. Still feeling very stubborn, Shawn once again threw a punch at Eddy, but the latter grappled onto his arm, struck it with his elbow, viciously punched Shawn in the abdomen, elbowed him in the back, and kicked him over to Ryan and Justin before he (Shawn) could land on the ground!

"Better not catch you around here again, assclowns!" Eddy threatened before the McKellan gang dashed off-screen. Eddy walked up to Twan and Jimmy, "You guys, all right?"

"I'll live. You all right, Twan? Twan?" Jimmy looked over at the unconscious Twan, who was being held up by Kevin and Nate.

"Oh my! I need to have the medical room prepped immediately!" Edd took out his cell phone.

"Nate, call Caitlin! She needs to see this!" Eddy gravely ordered.

* * *

><p>In the Kankers' kitchen, Lee was explaining to her sisters about the DVD disks she found, but refused to give them any details about the contents.<p>

"That's bullshit!" Marie justified. "Our bastard dads ain't bother to send us postcards the past three years much less some DVDs about-"

"You're holding the disk now, dumbass!" Lee interrupted calmly. "And lie to yourself all ya want, but'chu know no one else calls you "Maria"! Not even mom!"

"Okay, assumin' that yer dad bein' on some stupid disk is what turned you soft or whatever," Marie started. "I still don't buy that half-assed story about how all our dads met up and decided to spill why they ain't sent nothin' to us to show us what's goin' on with them!"

"And you don't expect me to be sold by that story you just told about mom hidin' that box in her room, do ya?" May snorted.

"Didn't think I had to tell you two this but," Lee sighed and sat back. "It's all I got left to say to ya!"

* * *

><p><strong>Flashback- Several weeks ago during the Christmas special, "Deck the Eds". The Kankers just walked into their trailer after being blasted out of the cul-de-sac by Ed's snow-rocket launcher. They were all visibly angered, but none more so than Lee. <strong>

"**Pretty nice plan, stupid!" Marie pushed May. "Pelt them with snow until they decide to break up with the Bitchshells and go out with us? Yer such a retard!" **

"**Like you could come up with anything better!" May pushed Marie even harder! "Call up the crossbones gang and have 'em rape the Bombshells if the Eds didn't go out with us! Like they can't freakin' defend themselves!" **

"**Buck-toothed slut!" Marie proceeded to choke May!**

"**Blue-haired, semen-slurping skank!" May choked Marie!**

"**SHUT UP!" Lee roared, forcing her two sisters across the room! She had had enough. **

"**Hey, who shoved coal up your ass?" Marie got up to brush herself off.**

"**Forget it!" Lee frowned as she stomped upstairs.**

"**Lee, what's-" May started to ask.**

"**I SAID FORGET IT!" Lee waltzed into Raven's room.**

**Seconds later, Lee could be seen tossing random things of her mother's around in a fit of rage. Family pictures, her nightstand, her TV, and even her mattress! **

"**YOU HAVE BAD GUT FEELINGS ABOUT MEN! I SEE THAT! BUT JUST 'CAUSE YOU SUCK AT GETTIN' ONE DOESN'T MEAN YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO PASS THAT STUPID-ASS TRAIT ON TO ME! NOT A SINGLE DAMN THING WENT RIGHT FOR ME AND IT'S YOUR FAULT! YOUR FAULT I DON'T HAVE A BOYFRIEND! YOUR FAULT I DON'T EVEN HAVE A GUY FRIEND! YOUR FAULT!" **

**Lee grabbed her mother's purple vase and smashed it on the floor that her (Raven's) mattress was on and quickly noticed that it made a hollow sound. Something the rest of the floor didn't. **

"**What the-?" Lee hit the hollow floor three more times before she struck it extra hard and caused it to slide open like a trap-door and reveal the black trunk she would show to her sisters in mere weeks. She snapped the padlock off with her bare hands and saw the DVDs meant for both her and her sisters.**

**Minutes later, after locking the door to her and her sisters' bedroom, she popped the DVD disc meant for her into their player. The TV screen read, "To my little diamond, Lena Simone." before it showed a redheaded Caucasian man in his early to mid forties smiling and sitting at a desk with a large precious gem and a nameplate that read, "Aaron Sawyer: Head of Mineral Research" Oddly, the man (Aaron) bore a slight resemblance to Lee.**

"**D-D-Dad?" Lee uttered surprised. **

"**_Lena. My sweet, sweet girl." _Aaron started, allowing a tear to escape. _"Raven's exes and myself made this disc when you were 13, but knowing your mother, she's bound to lock it away somewhere and tell you something different than what I'm about to say. Can't really blame her, though. But if you're anything like your old man, you're bound to find it after throwing a fit of rage or something some years from now." _**

**Lee looked down surprised and folded her arms. **

"**_But I'll just get right to the point." _Aaron explained. _"You were too young to know this at the time, but your mother and I thought we were meant for each other. But we were seriously fooling ourselves. She paid a handsome amount to get custody of you and the settlement done with. Sure I could've fought harder to get you, but I had to face facts. Raven would do a much better job raising you than I would. All the promises I've broken. All the benefits of being a workaholic that I couldn't ignore. I am your father, Lena. But I was never your dad. Not till now, anyway. And as your dad, I have but a single request for you. Be nothing like me. An obsessive, worthless failure, who couldn't even look after himself much less his family. You have it in you to be an extraordinary young girl, Lena. I knew that since the day you were born. Be strong and look out for your family, my little diamond. What is and always shall be…more precious to me than any gemstone…is you."_**

**Once the DVD ended, Lee covered her face as she burst into tears at the fact that her father, the man she never really knew, wanted her to be the best person she could and ended up becoming the complete opposite. Which was, in fact, her own father. Lee then looked up at the screen with a determined facial expression, now a changed girl with only one thing on her mind: to blossom and mature like her father wanted. **

**Moments later, she could be seen behind her trailer burning all of her obsessive pictures of Eddy and her Kanker-perfume formulas in a large bonfire. But before she could throw away a "Bikini Babes" magazine (Urban Ed) (featuring beautiful fictional redheaded model Scarlett Cross in a fur bikini on the cover), she smirked, "Hmm…"**

**Seconds later, in the Kankers' bedroom, Lee, now being in nothing more than a pink bikini, underwent a complete makeover in a montage fashion. She bit into a crowbar as she waxed both her legs until they were both perfectly smooth. She then proceeded to gel her clean red hair and curl it neatly and beautifully, though we still couldn't see her eyes. Lee then started rubbing a special lotion on her face and several seconds later, began powdering it, putting on light-blue eyeliner, and finally, cherry red lipstick (but her face was yet to be seen). **

**Next, she slammed a huge tan box (which read, "Things I'll _Never_ Wear" on top) on-screen and opened it to reveal all of the feminine clothes she would be seen wearing merely weeks from now. She slipped on the jeans, the socks and shoes, the shirt, and finally, the jacket. **

**In the kitchen, May and Marie were arm-wrestling until the montage music ended with Marie accidentally winning when May became distracted by her elder sister's new, off-screen appearance. Marie was just as shocked and speechless.**

"**Shocker!" The camera shifted to the smiling, feminine, and elegant Lee, who now resembled a miniature Scarlett Cross! "Marie won again!" **

**The screen flashed white before it cut to the Kankers' trailer in the current time.**

* * *

><p>"So, yer a daddy's girl, now! Big whoop!" Marie folded her arms. "You still ain't told us why you were all over Farmer Kazek, Ho!"<p>

"And you still didn't scrub underneath the trailer like I told ya fucking two hours ago!" Lee retorted with a smile. "Thought I wouldn't check…Ho?"

Marie groaned in frustration before she walked off-screen and May giggled at her embarrassment.

"You can tell me, Lee!" May snorted.

"Not till everyone's at the table, May!" Lee replied wittily.

"Hey, where was mom in your flashback, anyway?" May asked.

"Same place she is tonight." Lee answered. "Over at Principal Caird's for a pre-date date!"

* * *

><p>In Edd's bedroom, which was transformed into a medical room (<strong>One size fits Ed, Don't push your Ed<strong>), a no-longer-bruised Twan was receiving a massage from Caitlin in his makeshift hospital bed. His wounds were closed, but he was still in slight pain.

"Bet'cher lovin' this, huh?" Twan snickered. "Ya warned me to back off of DC for a while and hours later, I get massacred!"

"Not the type to say "I told you so", sweetie!" Caitlin responded. "Besides, I'm still stuck on what Jimmy pulled last night! I tell you, it's a wild thing when nice, sweet boys finally hit puberty!"

"Told Jim myself! Like the champ really wants to fight a nobody from Peach Creek! A nobody compared to him, anyway!"

"In a world like this, you never know, Twan! They'll either laugh at you or more than likely make you put your money where your mouth is and take you on!"

"Yeah, right!"

Just then, Eddy waltzed into the room with an excited facial expression, "Oh, great! Yer good now! Get downstairs! You gotta see this!"

Twan and Caitlin looked at each other suspicious before, seconds later, the Eds, Nate, and Kevin, accompanied by Twan and Caitlin, sat at the kitchen table as they looked at Edd's laptop and saw the brothers Homer and Jason being swarmed by reporters and photographers as one reporter in particular spoke _"What began with a Peach Creek freshman's challenging of the Droid Carnage world champion Black Zero has transformed into a highly controversial demand for said fight! The brothers of Black Zero operator Leon Antonucci, Homer and Jason have, after much thought and pestering of fans for the past few hours, decided to make the fight a reality on MLK day tomorrow! While they have refused to answer anymore questions, they have confirmed that their brother will be flying into the state tomorrow morning!"_

Once the clip ended, everyone stared at Twan emotionless while Twan himself continued to look at the laptop flabbergasted. Just then, Jimmy walked on-screen excitedly, his wounds healed and unseen.

"Double D said he had some thingamajig that can sharpen your skills so you'd be able to take down Zero!" Jimmy smirked.

"No." Twan shook his head indifferently.

"No?" Jimmy repeated surprised. "This is what you wanted! All you need now is-"

"Yer right, Jim! I _wanted _this! I don't anymore!" Twan interrupted upset. "After last night, I want you to chill with your friends, all right? I want'chu safe!"

"Twan, you can't-" Jimmy walked towards Twan.

"I MEAN WHAT I SAY, JIM! STAY WITH YOUR FRESHMAN FRIENDS!" Twan, obviously remorseful about last night's incident, stormed out of Edd's house via his (Edd's) backyard door, much to Jimmy's hurt and confusion. Caitlin quickly hugged Jimmy better before she left Edd's house to follow Twan.

* * *

><p>At the X-House, Sugar Bar manager Melissa Cervantes (<strong>Feel the Ed!<strong>) was sitting in the living room as she watched the Bombshells, Brooke, and Tori dance to a song sung by fictional pop star **Kamille**, featuring fellow fictional artist **Jonesy Ray **(as evident with Nazz's Ipod stating the off-screen name of the song and the artists themselves). They were obviously choreographed by Brooke, as all of the girls' dance moves now bordered on professional. Once the song ended and the girls paused in one position, Melissa stood up and clapped impressed.

"That was, like, so much fun!" Nazz panted.

"You know what will be even more fun?" Melissa walked up to the girls. "Seeing all five of you at work on Tuesday!"

"All five?" Brooke repeated surprised. "You mean, I'm-"

"Hired? Why so surprised? These girls could use a choreographer to keep their ideas fresh! Congrats, Brooklyn! See you on Tuesday!" Melissa shook hands with each of the girls before she left the X-house!

"Awesome! Totally sweet! _So _wicked!" The girls exchanged high fives and hugs.

"'Course you girls do realize that after this scene is over, we don't show up again because Phoenix doesn't want to go over time, right?" Brooke said.

"What?" Tori uttered surprised.

* * *

><p>In the Bennetts' backyard, Twan sat at his family's picnic table, still feeling guilty over Jimmy's ordeal rather than his own. Caitlin walked outside and sat next to him to console him.<p>

"Shoulda known this was gonna happen!" Twan frowned. "Never shoulda even thought about takin' 'im somewhere that's got Lemon Brooke bastard scent all over it! And I tried to cancel the fight, but I don't got the financial rights to do that. I dunno what to do, Kate."

"You can stop feeling sorry for yourself." Caitlin rubbed his back. "What happened last night was something you couldn't stop. Not alone."

"But Jim, Caitlin-"

"You taught Jimmy to be firm enough to take things head on, even if he has no chance. He never would've left your side if he had a choice. You have it in you to do the same, Twan. You have it in you to be a better…Uncle!"

"You'll never quit bein' there for me, will ya?"

"Who am I? Monique?" Caitlin joked. She moved closer to Twan, who responded by turning his head in her direction. The two kissed passionately, with Twan no longer feeling upset as a result. As they continued to kiss, the screen faded to black.

* * *

><p>The screen reopened on the outside of the Kankers' trailer, where Lee could be seen sitting in a lawn chair sipping hot cocoa before an agitated and dirty Marie and May walked up to her.<p>

"What? Yer done?" Lee raised her right eyebrow.

"Don't think I don't know yer game, _big_ _sis_!" Marie frowned. "Yer tryin' to get us to do all this stupid-ass work so we'd forget about asking about your sex scene with Kazek!"

"Oh, wow. You couldn't say that a little cleaner?" Lee chuckled.

"It's not funny, Lee!" May snorted. "We've done every shit job around and in the trailer just 'cause you claimed it had somethin' to do with you goin' over to farm boy's house and screaming his name in his bedroom!"

"I said it "symbolically" had somethin' to do with what I was doin', May." Lee set down her hot cocoa. "But you're right. I've put it off long enough."

* * *

><p><strong>Flashback- A few weeks ago (picking up right where the last flashback left off) in the Kankers' trailer. Marie and May just stared at their sister in shock, realizing that she had just destroyed all of her physical tomboyish traits.<strong>

"**See ya!" Lee started to walk out the door.**

"**Where are you going?" Marie asked. **

"**To pay some debts!" Lee smirked before she walked out the door. ****The screen shifted to Rolf's farm, where Rolf himself could be seen muttering angrily to himself as he looked at the long list of chores he still had to do.**

"**Why should Rolf be forced to consummate everyone's daily labor due to his blood guardians' temporary leisure departure? I ask you!" Rolf complained to Victor, who walked with him and did nothing but bleat once before his (Victor's) attention went straight. **

**Just then, all of Rolf's animals looked in the same direction as Victor before Rolf himself did so as well. While his livestock remained emotionless, Rolf looked petrified with fear when he saw that what they were all looking at was the smiling Lee Kanker! Sure Rolf acknowledged that she was physically transformed, but had no idea she was mentally that way until she spoke up.**

"**Hey, um, Rolf!" Lee started, her feminine voice caused Rolf to replace his fear with confusion. "Listen, I know we've had our differences and you've always been disgusted with me and my sisters…but I don't want there to be any hard feelings between us. I was sick. I believed that Eddy and me were meant to be and I wanted to make it happen so badly. Wasn't until yesterday I finally stopped sniffing the crack and opened my eyes. But that's not why I'm here. I'm here because I want to pay off the emotional and mental damages I gave you guys by working like crazy. Don't care how long it takes."**

**Rolf then displayed no emotion as he looked at all of his animals. He uttered, "Rolf's livestock can unearth false genuine emotion and would form a stampede when united in their fear of your presence, Kanker leader. Rolf is pleased to learn that you have changed mentally as well as physically, yet…how would daily labor assist you in vanquishing what remains of your guilt?"**

"**My Uncle Nick has a saying. It works, but it's kinda lame." Lee replied smiling. "Hard work positively softens negative emotion."**

"**Hmm!" Rolf smiled, now bowled-over by Lee's new character.**

**A montage for all of Lee's activities for the next few weeks began, starting with today. Lee, now in nothing more than a white T-shirt and jeans, used her incredible Kanker strength to stuff a huge amount of meat in Rolf's locker for storage. Next, she washed all of Rolf's animals (the pigs, both of his goats, and his bull) and was currently on his cow and calves. Then, at night, Lee was seen washing the Kazek family's clothes by hand and after she succeeded in hanging them all up to dry, she fell fast asleep on the ground. A proud Rolf picked her up in his arms and put her on his bed before he placed the cover over her.**

**The next week, Lee could be seen draining tree sap from a large oak tree (Ed Overboard) to go in a large barrel before she carried it over to five other barrels in a corner! After that, Lee could be seen holding onto Rolf's tractor as she cleaned its hood when, only by sheer accident, she looked up at Rolf's room window and saw the muscular foreign teen doing pull-ups while wearing only a wool speedo. Aroused, she blushed and smiled as she looked away. At night, after Lee climbed out of the huge hole she dug, she entered Rolf's bathroom to take a shower. Rolf, having walked by the bathroom and noticed that it was only cracked, couldn't help but peek and see Lee unstrap her bra with her back to the screen. As she turned around to the showerhead, before we could see anything, the screen shifted to an aroused, blushing Rolf, who dashed off-screen.**

**The following week, Lee was cleaning candied beets (Wish you were Ed) before, unbeknownst to her, Rolf tiptoed behind her with a barrel full of water before he splashed it on her, much to her surprise and shock. Rolf laughed heartily before Lee playfully attacked Rolf with a candied beet and chased him around the farm! Later, both Rolf and Lee could be seen smiling at one another as they made food from giant lobster, squid head, and sea urchin in the kitchen. They teasingly bumped sides and flung water on one another while Ajen and Kyema (Free as an Ed), in the background, looked at the two proud, sensing a growing bond between the two. At night, both Rolf and Lee could be seen riding around the farm in the former's tractor just for the fun of it. They smiled warmly at each other for about eight seconds until, suddenly, they appeared to be moving in for a kiss! But before they could, the tractor ran into a large stump and flipped over, sending the two flying into a mudpit! But rather than being disgusted, they laughed and the montage ended!**

**Moments later, Rolf was humming in the shower before suddenly, his door opened and the camera approached him. **

"**YA-SHEH-SHOY!" Rolf yelled startled as he covered his off-screen midsection, having realized that it was Lee who walked into his bathroom wearing nothing more than a long white towel over her body!**

"**Sorry, if I scared you." Lee smiled amorously.**

"**Why do you approach Rolf with nothing more than a drying cloth?" Rolf asked surprised, but nonetheless added aroused, "As Rolf's blood guardians have not yet rested for the night!"**

"**Yeah…yeah, they have!" _Lee stepped into Rolf's shower and began to make-out with him passionately. She then dropped her towel as she continued to do so, but her body remained off-screen. Rolf picked her up and slammed her against the wall of the showerhead and continued to make-out with her. _**

**_Seconds later, the two could be seen on their knees embracing on Rolf's bed with only Lee's bare back facing the screen. Rolf sunk his face into Lee's neck as he wrapped his arms around her waist and she moaned and breathed heavily. Minutes later, the two were under Rolf's sheets making out with Rolf being on top of Lee. _They kissed once more before the screen flashed white and returned to the outside of the Kankers' trailer in the current time.**

* * *

><p>"And yeah, don't worry." Lee grinned. "I took somethin' to keep you two from becoming aunts."<p>

"You think this is a joke?" May frowned. "Just 'cause Rolf digs you don't mean his friends will! They'll think yer a common slut! Just like those Bitchshells!"

"They're the Bombshells and they're not sluts!" Lee stood up in got in May's face. "They fell in love with the Eds while we wasted part of our lives tryin' to force them to love us! I already moved on, girls! It's time you did, too!"

"Oh, we're movin' on alright!" Marie replied. "To our next plan to get what's ours! With or without you!"

Before Lee walked into the house, she turned around and glared at her sisters threateningly, "Get this! The longer you suck on this pathetic-ass obsession of yours, the worse you'll get! And with me being the oldest and having to take most of the heat, don't think for one damn second that I won't turn some of that heat back on you!...Lock the door when you come in."

Lee walked into the trailer and shut the door behind her.

* * *

><p>The screen transitioned to the super-packed underground Droid Carnage arena the following night (the night of the fight), where Eddy, Ed, Kevin, and Nate could be seen sitting at the very back of the seats facing the north side of the ring.<p>

"Hey, Eddy? How come we're sitting way up here when we've got reserved front seats down there where Double D is?" Ed asked.

"'Cause Lumpy, for the eighth time, we gotta keep a sharp eye out for McKellan and his gang of jerk-offs!" Eddy explained. "Can't have 'em floatin' around so they can be pussies and attack and rob Twan when he wins!"

"_When_ he wins?" Kevin repeated. "Bro, he's goin' toe to toe with the world DC champ! There should be an "if" in there! I heard this Leon rich boy's been a cage fighter since he was 8!"

"Relax, Kevo!" Eddy smiled confidently. "I loaned him a secret weapon that'll help 'im win! Well, part of it, anyway!"

"And what if someone steals our seats and we don't see McKellan?" Nate asked.

"Trust me! Sockhead's not gonna let that happen!" Eddy pointed to Edd at the very front of the north stadium. The latter sat there relaxed and, right when four people tried to steal his friends' seats, they were electrocuted by an invisible force field, forcing them to run off!

Just then, Homer and Jason climbed into the ring before the former grabbed the microphone and spoke, _"LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! BEHOLD THE MATCH OF THE CENTURY! THE FIGHT OF ALL FIGHTS! THE CROWN JEWEL COMBAT EXPERIENCE OF LEGEND! INTRODUCING THE CHALLENGER! THE WORLD DROID CARNAGE CHAMPION AND OUR BIG BROTHER, LEON "BLACK ZERO" ANTONUCCI!"_

Just then, Leon, in his drone suit, fell from the stadium ceiling and landed in the ring, triggering loud applause from everyone in the stadium! Leon's black and gray suit was very bulky and beefy; even more so than perhaps any other suit. The helmet-head resembled a brawny skull-head and the suit in general stood 8'5. Inside, we could see that Leon strongly resembled both of his younger brothers, but had dark brown hair and was more muscular than either of them.

"_AND NOW FOR HIS OPPONENT!" _Homer continued. _"PEACH CREEK NATIVE AND REIGNING _**_UNDERGROUND _**_CHAMPION WITH AN ENTOURAGE MEMBER THAT MADE ALL THIS POSSIBLE, IN A WAY, ANTWAN "THE RIPPER" BENNETT!"_

As almost everyone in the stadium cheered, they saw that Twan was nowhere to be found. After about eight seconds of complaining and booing, however, the suited up Twan approached the ring down an aisle. Jimmy and Caitlin were right behind him smiling as the crowd continued to cheer. Twan hopped into the ring before Homer explained, _"AND REMEMBER! WITH THIS BEING A PROFESSIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP, THERE ARE ONLY TWO ROUNDS, WHICH MEANS BOTH FIGHTERS WILL BE JUDGED ON THEIR PERFORMANCES!" _

"All right, champs! You know the rules so I ain't gonna waste my breath!" Jason stepped in between the fighters. "Touch knuckles and wait for the bell."

Leon lightly touched Twan's knuckles as Homer went on to say, _"NOW, LET'S GET READY FOR…DROID CARNAGE!" _

Once the bell rang, the fight began. At first, it wasn't really a fight. Leon's drone gave him a massive advantage over Twan in terms of strength. Leon brutally punched Twan in both cheeks and in the gut, delivered a head-slap, and knocked him on the floor, causing a portion of the audience to cheer.

"TWAN, GET UP!" Jimmy yelled.

"_C'mon, baby!" _Caitlin whispered concerned.

Twan got back up and landed a haymaker, but didn't do sufficient damage. Before he could deliver another one, Leon socked him in the gut, in the right cheek, and in the back of the head, forcing him on the ring floor again! Twan sprung himself back up before Leon could elbow-slam him! From inside his drone, we could see Twan smiling, _"That's it, big guy! Keep thrashin'!" _

Twan successfully landed a blow to an apparent weak-point under Leon's drone's jaw and managed to harm him, a first for the champ! But before he could do it again, Leon socked him in his own jaw and punched him onto the ring floor! He sprung himself back up, only to be knocked into his corner!

"NO! NO! NO! NOT THE CORNER!" Kevin yelled.

"That thing's just too powerful!" Ed worried, not noticing that Eddy was the only one smiling, as he and Twan were the only ones who knew what was happening was a matter of strategy.

"C'MON, TWAN!" Jimmy and Caitlin yelled as Twan was getting pummeled in his corner with his forearms being his only protection! Before Leon could land what could be considered a finishing move, Twan delivered an uppercut that forced Leon backwards, but didn't faze him! Twan attempted a haymaker, but ended up getting knocked on the floor again. Before Leon could strike again, the bell rang, ending the first round! Leon went to his corner to talk to his brothers and his apparent blonde girlfriend while Twan went to his corner to talk to Jimmy and Caitlin.

"What's going on with you?" Jimmy asked worried. "You're getting hurt in there! If you didn't wanna fight, I would've understood and got over it!"

"He's right, Twan!" Caitlin added. "You don't have to fight if you don't want to!"

"Wow. You guys are actually worried!" In his drone-suit, Twan was still smiling. "I'm strategizing! Notice anything about Leon's suit other than it's freakin' huge?"

"Uh…" Jimmy and Caitlin shrugged.

"He's slow!" Twan answered. "Yeah, he used so much power on me that I'm down to my last back-up power cell, but if you remember, his arms are so big, he's gotta use momentum instead of speed to get an edge! And every time he hit me before I could hit him, he was actually keepin' me from hittin' certain points!"

"Where'd you learn all this?" Caitlin asked.

"From a friend whose been in a helluva whole lotta fights! And a friend whose got tech to help me learn just in time for this fight!" Twan smirked, implying that he knows what he knows because of Eddy and Edd! "And of course, a nephew who made it all possible!"

"You mean…" Caitlin looked at Jimmy knowingly.

"Yeah, and let's hope I can finish this fight before it wears off!" Twan nodded.

In the audience, the McKellan gang was looking on at the ring in outrage, but for different reasons.

"I don't believe it!" Ryan exclaimed. "No one's been able to hold their own against the champ for even half a round! What the fuck makes Bennett so special?"

"Yeah!" Justin frowned. "Losers like him don't deserve hot pieces of ass like that girl down there! Right, Shawn?"

"Let's get the hell outta here!" Shawn stood up and began to walk towards the nearest exit aisle, almost as if he saw something!

"What? Why?" Justin asked.

"The fight ain't over!" Ryan argued.

"We'll watch it online! Let's go! Now!" Shawn demanded before Justin and Ryan followed confused.

Before they could reach the aisle, Nate was standing in their way with an angered facial expression. The gang wasn't terrified of him, but of Eddy, who stood a foot behind Nate. As a result, they tried to run towards the other exit aisle, but Ed, whom they're more terrified of than Eddy or Nate, stood in their way as well! They planned to hop from chair to chair down to the front seats (despite people sitting there), but Kevin suddenly stood up and turned around to avert this, making it impossible for them to escape!

"Let's talk outside…about how we listen!" Nate pointed to the exit building.

"Assclowns!" Eddy, Nate, Kevin, and Ed (who somehow got over to where his friends were) followed the McKellan gang out of the stadium, intent on beating them up.

In the ring, a redheaded ring-card girl in a leopard-skin bikini walked on the stage holding a "ROUND 2" sign with the fighters back in the corners. The bell rang before the two stared each other down first. Leon attempted a haymaker, but Twan ducked, punched him in the back, and delivered a powerful uppercut that fazed the champ, much to the Antonucci brothers' shock! Just then, Leon dished out a barrage of punches and succeeded in landing merely one before the faster Twan delivered swift karate-chops to certain points on Leon's drone-suit and a punch in the gut that caused Leon's suit to act odd!

"YEAH!" Caitlin cheered at the fact that her man was winning.

Leon attempted a sucker-punch, but Twan blocked it, delivered a punch to Leon's drone-suit's jaw weak-point, a blow to his left cheek, and another potent uppercut! Inside his suit, Leon was frustrated and decided to push his drone to its power limits! Leon, while still slow, managed to sucker-punch Twan all the way into his corner before he jumped in front of him and began attacking him with rapid punches! Twan kept his forearms in front of his face to block as Jimmy yelled, "TWAN, GET OUT OF THE CORNER!"

"NOT YET!" Twan yelled back, revealing that he was onto Leon's attempts. This exchange happened again when Twan was struck ten more times, "GET OUT! NOT YET!" nine times later, "GET OUT, NOW! NOT YET, KIDDO!" seven times later…Leon's drone suit began to slow down! Even more so than usual! This was obviously due to the damage Twan inflicted on him and the amount of power he used trying to take him (Twan) down!

"Hey, Jim!" We could see Twan's smiling face as he looked at a worried Jimmy. "NOW!"

Twan proceeded to take complete control of the fight with an uppercut, a blow to the gut and chest, and in slow-motion, a blow to the right jaw as he jumped up in the air and the crowd cheered wildly! Twan delivered countless swift punches and karate chops that forced the champ to stumble backwards rather than defend himself. After three more punches and a slow-motion uppercut…Leon was sent flying out of the ring just before time ran out! The entire crowd cheered (even the Lemon Brook kids)! Among them were Eddy, Ed, Nate, and Kevin, whom were sitting in their front row seats for an unknown amount of time.

"_LADIES AND GENTLEMEN!" _Homer raised his hand in the air. _"AFTER A QUICK WORD WITH THE JUDGES, I HAVE SOME NEWS FOR YOU! ON POINTS…BLACK ZERO IS SUPERIOR BY FIVE!" _The crowd began to boo, but Homer raised his hand again, _"LET ME FINISH! BUT, SINCE HE WAS KNOCKED OUT OF THE RING SECONDS BEFORE THE BELL RANG, THAT MAKES OUR WINNER THE NEW CHAMPION, ANTWAN "THE RIPPER" BENNETT!"_

Twan hopped out of his drone suit to have his arm held up by Jason and Homer. Caitlin and Jimmy then hopped into the ring to join them. Twan and Caitlin kissed once before Jimmy gave Twan some dap. Just then, though, Twan picked up Jimmy and put him on his right shoulder.

"YOU DID IT, UNCLE TWAN!" Jimmy yelled.

"_WE_ DID IT, JIM! WE DID IT!" Twan modestly corrected.

As the crowd chanted "RIPPER! RIPPER! RIPPER!" and all of Twan's friends entered the ring (to congratulate him personally), the screen faded to black.

**End of episode 12**

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><p><strong>Did you know: "Robot Rebel Ranch" was the R-rated movie Ed desperately wanted to see in "Dawn of the Eds". I thought the mention of it in this episode would bring back warm memories. <strong>

**This episode parodies one of the coolest movies of all time (to me anyway), "Real Steel" with a lot of things actually taken from that movie for plot's sake!**

**Lee's father (whom I named "Aaron Sawyer"), as revealed in "Nagged to Ed", is said to be named "Butch", but I believe that's only a nickname since I have never really heard of a man given the name "Butch" at birth. **

**"Scarlett Cross" is named and modeled after actress "Scarlett Johansson".**

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><p><strong>Phoenix's no<strong>**te: Again, sorry that this episode was so freakin' long. I'll try and shorten future ones if it's a problem. Also, I'm postponing the release of the 13th episode in favor of a Valentines' Day special, so I hope you guys'll be in a romantic mood come next month!**

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><p><strong>Title reference: A Change in Character.<strong>

**Acknowledging the reference: Not only does it refer to the result of Jimmy hitting puberty, but it also refers to Lee's transformation into an elegant young woman and Brooke into a character we are now familiar with! **


	5. Be all you can Ed pt 1

**Phoenix's Note: **Well, well, well! Of all places, who'd have thought I'd end up back here during free time? I wanted to start a new fic, but due to the increasing popularity of my Edolescence series despite my extended absence, I think I'll continue it until its finale! I have but one request. One that is quite familiar to all of you. I'd like all fans of this story to PLEASE review every chapter they read (pm-ed reviews don't count)! That way, I can find you and read YOUR EEnE fics if you have any and if you don't and are just reading and favoriting for now, I'd like you to do so anyway so that I can possibly ask for advice and suggestions since I am a little…off my game. Also, I plan on toning it down on the language and sex due to some constructive complaints, but not to a degree that you'll forget that this is still a TEEN-based fic. But enough talk! Time for episode 13!

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><p><strong>EPISODE 13: BE ALL YOU CAN ED<strong>

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><p>It was a cool winter morning, and Urban Ranger leader Rolf relaxed in his tractor as he ate a large chicken wing, waiting for his younger rangers to arrive and bring him word on their successes. Oddly, his Urban Ranger uniform was no longer yellow and blue with a red scarf. Nor were those the colors of the Ranger flag and its emblem of salute as before. But rather, the blue was replaced by light-green and the yellow with black in addition to the scarves now being dark blue. The flag's Ranger salute emblem now possessed the colors of green and black as well.<p>

"We're back, Ranger Rolf!" Jonny (who shaved his head bald again), Plank, Jimmy, and Sarah (whom wore a light-green skirt as opposed to light-green pants like the boys) stood in front of the tractor and looked down with disappointed facial expressions.

Rolf developed the same facial expression as he climbed down his tractor, "Speak to Rolf, Rangers. Why do you return with not even a fresh conscript that matches Plank the Woodboard in stature? Was I nearing silence when I expressed the importance of expansion?"

"No one's interested, Rolf! We've tried every trick and speech in the book!" Jonny sighed. "We'd have better luck recruiting chipmunks and donkeys!"

"Let's face it, boss." Sarah shrugged. "No one really needs the kind of help we offer. You, I mean _we_, would be better off going back to doing chores and extra services for everyone."

"Nonsense, Ranger Sarah!" Rolf replied. "The Urban Rangers' purpose lies within performing acts of protection towards our humble cul-de-sac, not performing acts of charitable labor, yes?"

"Uh, since when again?" Sarah folded her arms confused.

"Since Jonny turned Gourd, wrecked the cul-de-sac, and nearly scarred us all, remember?" Jimmy reminded Sarah, much to Jonny's annoyance; especially since he wanted to let that time go completely. "If it wasn't for you-know-who saving our butts, we wouldn't even have houses to do those extra services and chores you miss so much! And we sure wouldn't be wearing these duds for over three years!"

"Hey, I didn't say I mis-" Sarah started.

"Wait a minute!" Jimmy looked down in thought. "That's it!"

"What's it, Jimmy?" Sarah asked, slightly agitated at her friend's interruption.

"Yes, Ranger Jimmy! A storm has emerged from your brain, no?" Rolf motivated.

"Who better to rake in more recruits than the guy who changed things not just for the cul-de-sac, but for us Rangers, too?" Jimmy started, piquing the interests of the others. "He's a little caught up in his own stuff right now, but if he made time for me two weeks ago, he'll try it for the rest of us!"

"Very Good, Ranger Jimmy!" Rolf held up a badge. "Should this succeed, you will receive the recruiting tactics badge, yes?"

"Hey, that's supposed to be _my_ badge! I came up with more ideas!" Sarah complained, anger being in her tone once she turned to the snickering Jonny, "Something funny, cueball?"

"Hey, don't look at me!" Jonny raised his hands innocently. "Plank's the one that said your ideas sucked!"

"Let's just get Twan and bring him up here!" Sarah rolled her eyes.

"It's not Twan! You know he didn't change anything except for me! Now let's go get him. The real _him_!" The three younger Rangers dashed off to find the one person they need to expand their miniature force.

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><p>In Eddy's house, Eddy himself was adding salt to a large omelet he was making, Ed was eating a buttered toast-bacon sandwich with gravy while sitting on the counter, and Edd was sitting at the table while typing on his laptop and drinking coffee.<p>

"Anything yet, Double D?" Eddy yelled.

"Trust me when I say that I have taken necessary steps to come closer to realizing our objective of ensnaring our evasive enemy, Eddy!" Edd replied. "I have ensured that every news station that airs today is recorded in addition to calculating the probability of their hiding in certain places within our vicinity. But until these steps bear fruit, I have decided to pay attention to more important matters, such as the essay I am writing for a very special sweepstakes!"

"Sweepstakes?!" Ed repeated with his mouth full.

"You know it's rude to speak with your mouth full, Ed." Edd sternly reminded him.

"Lemme guess?" Eddy brought his food to the table and sat down. "You entered it for the grand prize of a brand new chemistry set, right?"

"Right-o!" Edd excitedly replied. "How did you know?"

"Cause you wouldn't shut up about it the past few weeks!" Eddy smirked. "Mmm…AGH!"

As he began to take a bite out of his omelet, Eddy was interrupted by a slightly remixed version of the Urban Rangers' original greeting horn that was blown by Jimmy; the latter entering the kitchen along with Sarah, Jonny, and Plank.

"There you are!" Jimmy pointed to the Eds.

"Ever notice that people just invite themselves in our houses without asking?" Eddy rhetorically asked.

"Let's go! You're comin' with us!" Sarah demanded.

"Forget your chores again, monobrow?" Eddy scoffed.

"I should hope not." Edd took a sip of coffee. "Need I remind you that your parents forced you to refrain from spending time with us for that entire week when you forgot?"

"No, I did my stuff, guys!" Ed replied.

"Not him. YOU!" Sarah sternly pointed at Eddy.

"What?" Eddy asked with a chuckle.

"Rolf needs a favor, Uncle Eddy!" Jimmy explained. "From you! From Deniro!"

The instant Jimmy mentioned that name, Eddy dropped his omelet in shock. He hadn't even _thought_ about it since the incident with Jonny and Plank as The Gourd and Timber the Dark Shard. Even his fellow Eds were shocked at the mentioning of that name. Curious, Eddy didn't say another word and simply went along with the Rangers as his fellow Eds followed.

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><p>"Ah, he-whose-breath-smells-like-smoldered-eggs Ed boy!" Rolf jumped off of his tractor to speak with Eddy. "How are you?"<p>

"If it's all right with you, stretch, I'd like to skip the small talk and find out what you want with Deniro." Eddy asked, keen on getting to the point.

"Ah yes! The alias you utilized to vanquish the formerly possessed Rangers Jonny and Plank!" Rolf smiled.

"We weren't possessed!" Jonny corrected annoyed. "Just because we turned evil briefly doesn't mean-"

"Rolf wishes for you to don your more heroic half to attract new recruits to the Urban Ranger ranks, yes?" Rolf asked.

"What? You want me to suit up to promote you guys?" Eddy asked, slightly surprised by the request.

"Is that a problem?" Sarah folded her arms sternly.

"Well, yeah! Kinda." Eddy explained, "Deniro is heavy artillery. I might still be on the side of the angels when I'm him, but I ain't exactly one to keep a lid on collateral damage once the job's finished. I said I would only be him again if the issue was major. I'm not sure if sponsoring you Rangers is major."

"As I recall, Eddy, your actions as Deniro served as the direct inspiration for the Urban Rangers' shifting their concerns from extra physical labor to the assisting of those in distress by oppressors." Edd reminded Eddy. "If anything, yet another appearance should have the similar effect of persuading others to fight for others. Just as you did!"

"And don't worry about the damage!" Said Jonny. "Once it's done, the set designers will fix it all! Right, Plank?"

"I dunno, guys!" Eddy sighed, for once in a long time not being confident about a certain decision.

"Please, Ed boy! Rolf begs you to help him!" Rolf dropped to his knees and cupped his hands together. "All I have desired to do since even before I came to your complex modern world was to provide a special service to it in order to avoid becoming the black lamb of a flock of white sheep! In my youth, I was renowned for my adeptness to the simple pleasures of the old country, but ridiculed for my ignorance of your world!"

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><p><strong>Flashback- Eleven years ago. In a large rural village somewhere in Norway, young Rolf was performing a professional-level "That's my Horse" dance with his four equally young friends, three boys and one girl, in front of a crowd in a deserted potato field. Iyema, Rolf's mother, was playing the accordion and blowing a bottle for musical effect. They gained quite a bit of approval for this.<strong>

"**{That's my horse, Sigurd!} Yaya!" Rolf smashed a large rock over the head of the boy with short purple hair.**

"**{It's **_**my**_** horse, Rolf!}" Sigurd smacked Rolf upside the head with a long wooden staff he had hidden in his cloth!**

"**{No, Chatrin! It's **_**my**_** horse!}" The boy with long red hair smashed a chicken cage over the head of the girl (who, unlike the boys, was wearing brown cloths that covered her chest and midsection only) with long ponytailed pink hair.**

"**{Ah! Ah! Ah! It's MY horse, Runar!}" Chatrin twiddled her finger and knocked the red haired boy (Runar) out into the distance with a wheelbarrow she got off-screen.**

"**{**_**MY HORSE**_**!}" The boy with short light-blue hair grabbed a chunk of dirt and flipped it like a long carpet before all of his friends were flung up in the air and just as quickly crashed violently onto the ground, ending the dance! **

"**{Your horse it is, Nicolai!}" Iyema applauded the light-blue haired boy while his friends continued laughing.**

"**{I am famished!}" Nicolai wiped sweat from his forehead. "{Let us sate our appetite with pumpkin-tomatoes.}"**

"**{No! Let us sate it with octopus-sticks!}" Chatrin licked her lips.**

"**{We should satisfy our bellies with an 11-course feast of succulent flesh, yes?}" Rolf suggested with a smile, generating approval from his friends. But before they went along with their plans…**

"**{Place your eyes on my most recent souvenir, everybody!}" A boy stood on top of a large cow (that obviously belonged to him) and managed to get the dispersing crowd to return and give him their collective attention. He was a few years older than Rolf and his friends, several inches taller, had long maroon-colored hair, and was carrying something from the outside world. The modern world.**

"**{Soren}!" Runar said the older kid's name with disgust, an emotion he shared with his friends. "{Yet another futile trinket from the go-go modern world that he wishes to bore us with?}"**

**Soren showed the crowd, including Iyema, what he is holding. It was a broken robot toy that once belonged to an American child. When he pressed a button and caused it to briefly say "machines are superior! Machines are superior!" the crowd was shocked and interested at the same time, much to the anger and jealousy of Rolf and company.**

"**{I must confess.}" Sigurd groaned. "{I truly wish my mama and papa could travel out to sea and enter the modern world so that I may acquire a souvenir!}" **

"**{Nonsense, my friend!}" Rolf put his arms around Sigurd and Chatrin's necks buddy-style. "{Our simple livelihood is infinitely more appealing than the ones had by youths of the modern world! The world in which neither us nor Soren will ever be a part of! So, let us have a feast and allow that disruptive son of a gun to have his day, no?}" **

**Rolf's friends reluctantly agreed before they walked off with him. Though the former himself was smiling and cheerful on the outside, internally, he was just as jealous and annoyed with Soren's attention-grabbing and show-off behavior as they were; despite genuinely believing that his way of life is superior to that of anything the more advanced world out there had to offer.**

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><p><strong>A montage began, featuring Rolf trying to go about his daily business despite being constantly faced by Soren's repeated crowd rallies.<strong>

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><p><strong>He was milking his cow by the barrels when Soren attracted other farming individuals, including Rolf's parents, to show them a flashlight, which everyone seemed to be interested in. Fed up, Rolf ceased his work to show everyone that he recently created a giant candle, but they all shrugged it off in favor of Soren's flashlight. Soren smirked mockingly at the discouraged Rolf, taking joy out of his failure to gain adulation.<strong>

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><p><strong>Next, a week later, Rolf was operating a small tractor in order to tenderize the soil for his family's seeds. Sure enough, Soren arrived and again attracted the crowd's attention with his far larger and more powerful tractor, which he used to tenderize his own farm soil. Angered, Rolf hopped off of his tractor, jumped onto Soren's, and pushed him over to take control of the tractor and show everyone he can do it as well. However, he was mistaken, as he ended up causing the vehicle to bounce up and down and spin around, almost hitting the fleeing crowd. As the vehicle spun, Soren regained control by grabbing the wheel while Rolf flew out of the tractor and landed in pigs' food spoils, much to the laughter of Soren and the crowd; who then manage to get a picture of this with their primitive camera.<strong>

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><p><strong>Later on, Soren was telling a yet-again amassed crowd in a large, bar-like place about how he was nearly hit by what he called a wrecking-ball machine that actually destroyed his parents' vessel. Just then, Rolf, battered and bruised, walked into the building to tell everyone that he was attacked by an anthropomorphic wolf (No Speak Da Ed) that nearly ate his lamb. Despite the severity of what he said and the fact that he single-handedly bludgeoned the creature to the brink of death, they remained more impressed with Soren's stating he stopped the wrecking ball machine from causing more damage by driving a big truck into it and forcing it into the water. As a reward, Soren stated his parents got a new vessel and invited all but Rolf to come see it, which they did. Disheartened and sad, Rolf walked back home, ending the montage.<strong>

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><p><strong>Rolf was sulking on some haystacks even as his four friends arrived to cheer him up.<strong>

"**{The town has favored you less in recent weeks, my friend!}" Nicolai pointed out. "{And Soren continues to make you seem like nothing more than the waste that exits the posterior of a chicken!}"**

"**{Quiet, fool!}" Runar slapped Nicolai's mouth shut. "{Or I will make you eat that which exits a **_**goat's**_** posterior until you weep like a crybaby!}"**

"**{If you wished to evade schooling, I could have given the illusion that you were there if you had told me.}" Sigurd placed his hand on his best friend's shoulder. **

"**{Tell Rolf, Sigurd.}" Rolf sighed heavily. "{Would Rolf regain approval from our fellow villagers if he were to join the complex society beyond our homeland?}"**

"**{If I understand this correctly, it was you who declared that our lives here are glorious in comparison to the modern culture, yes?}" Sigurd reminded him with a smile.**

"**{Answer, Rolf!}" Rolf stood up sternly.**

**Sigurd cleared his throat stunned, "{I know not. You must understand, my friend, our people know so little about the surroundings of all things beyond our eyes. It is only in their nature that they forsake what they know for a short time to assimilate, no?}"**

"**{Rolf understands. And he is sorry that he bellowed at you as if you were his bull.}" Rolf apologizes.**

"**{I do not expect your feelings to swell, but I believe you would be pleased to learn that Soren has left the village this morning to become a part of the modern culture.}" Chatrin added, unexpectedly brightening Rolf's day.**

"**{Truly?!}" Rolf excitedly asked, gaining nods from all four of his friends. "{Then let us rejoice while the sun beams on our soil! Nicolai! Runar! Unearth the largest fish you can find! Sigurd! Chatrin! We are in need of many bananas and squashes!}"**

"**{Another feast?}" Chatrin asked.**

"**{No.}" Rolf smirked mischievously. "{We must seek vengeance on the baker, as he has made a fool of Rolf by capturing him on a picture that shows his covered in food spoils! Let us go!}" **

**Rolf's days were sure enough enjoyable after that. Or at least until one fateful day in particular. Three years later, in the middle of the night, the village rangers, including Rolf's shepherd father Ajen, were struggling against an unnaturally large black bear (Free as an Ed). They have shot harpoons and spears at it, but they have failed to hit vital parts before many of them were either injured or slaughtered. Some men were thrown through structure windows and walls. Others were sliced and pummeled by the bear's claws and strength. 10-year-old Rolf, as ordered by his father, was leading all other people, including his four friends, to the largest farm in the village in order to keep them safe. The instant Rolf saw in horror that his father was the only brave left and was being beaten into unconsciousness, he thought fast and ran up to the beast despite his friends' protest. He would have been sliced by the bear's claw had he not slid underneath its legs. Next, using most of his strength, he ripped a spear out of its side, causing it great pain and anger.**

"**{YOUR END IS AT HAND _THIS_ HOUR, SAVAGE URISADE!}" The instant the bear swung its claw at him a second time, Rolf ducked and tossed the spear through its chest, successfully puncturing its heart and killing it. Though the crowd cheered him, he was more concerned about getting his father back home to repair his wounds.**

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><p><strong>Back at the farm, Iyema was tending to Ajen's injuries while Rolf watched and told his mother of his success.<strong>

"**{Remarkable it is, Rolf!}" Iyema complimented. **

"**{Rolf can hardly restrain himself from eating the beast before his celebration later today, yes?}" Rolf smiled excitedly.**

"**{Oh, uh, Rolf?}" Iyema looked at Rolf with a serious facial expression. "{Attend the celebration, you cannot. An hour after dawn, we depart…for the modern world.}"**

**Upon hearing this, Rolf quickly developed a frown on his face. Hearing this news was like being stabbed in the heart as well as the ears. He had already said that **_**Soren **_**would not be a part of such a world before it actually happened three years ago. Now, it seemed as if he was a genuine liar since he was now going as well.**

"**{But…why?}" Rolf asked, desperately trying to hold back his tears. "{Are you and papa no longer happy with the legacy you have created and continued in the name of our ancestors?}"**

"**{Reveal much, our expedition the previous month did. Other forms of labor, such as.}" Iyema explained. "{Like it, you will learn to.}"**

"**{Make new friends, you might.}" Ajen added with a raspy voice.**

**Rolf was tempted to run away and hide to keep this change from fully taking place. But knew that that would do nothing but delay his family and cause him trouble. So in response, he left the farm, told his friends the news, and decided to spend the next few hours together and end it with one more "That's my Horse" concert. Once it was over, they accompanied the saddened youngster to his family's boat at the beach.**

"**{Evading school will be as fun as cleaning candied beets now that you are gone, Rolf.}" Runar sighs sadly.**

"**{I will be forced to beat you unmercilessly with a stick should you forget to visit us!}" Nicolai threatened sadly, which forced Runar to comfort him by patting his back.**

"**{Rolf will ensure that you maintain a special place in his heart, yes?}" Rolf replied with a sorrowful smile.**

"**{Rolf, your place as my best friend will never be taken by another.}" Sigurd placed his hand on Rolf's shoulder. "{I wish for you to feel the same way, but I cannot deny your opportunity to find another.}"**

"**{Rolf is not confident in his ability to find other friends, Sigurd.}" Rolf looked down in sadness. "{I am not even sure if I can prove myself of being worthwhile to those of the modern world.}"**

"**{Nicolai shouldn't hesitate to beat you for talking like _that!}"_ Sigurd folded his arms. "{If Soren could disrupt labor and gain admiration just by being himself, can you honestly say **_**you **_**cannot? **_**You**_**?}" **

**Rolf smiled less bitterly, "{Rolf does not think he will replace you as his greatest friend, either! Good-bye, Sigurd!}"**

**Rolf turned his back before, **

"**{Wait!}" Chatrin presented Rolf with the golden, elephant-shaped locket he would show the Eds on the episode "Wish you were Ed". In it was the very same black and white picture that depicted Rolf in front of a cabin being "kissed" by Wilfred; one of the many pictures Chatrin took over the course of the several years she knew Rolf.**

"**{Rolf looks elder in this picture, no?}" Rolf and Chatrin chuckled.**

"**{Do not just assimilate the customs of the modern people.}" Chatrin advised. "{Introduce yours to them. Ours with them. We can be with you always should you do this.}"**

"**{How can Rolf truly do so, Chatrin? I ask you.}" Rolf shrugged.**

"**{Draw from the confidence you conjured when you helped the Village Rangers.}" She suggested. "{Use your confidence with the Rangers to share your heritage with those of the urban culture.}"**

"**{**_**Urban Culture. Village Rangers.**_**}" Rolf muttered in deep thought before he was snapped out of it by his father's blowing the horn and his mother sarcastically shouting, "{Leave **_**today**_**, we would like to!}" **

"**{Good-bye, Chatrin. Do not speak this to Sigurd, but I will miss you most of all.}" Rolf blushed before Chatrin kissed him on the cheek. **

**Knowing he can't put it off any longer, Rolf lunged onto the ship just as it shoved off into the distance, its destination being nowhere but the Americas.**

"**{GOOD-BYE, SIGURD! GOOD-BYE, CHATRIN! GOOD-BYE, RUNAR! I'LL MISS EVEN YOU, NICOLAI!}" Rolf bellowed his final farewells to his oldest friends before the screen flashed white and shifted back to the current time.**

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><p>"So you see, prickly-haired Ed-boy, Rolf wants only to continue sharing his heritage!" Rolf tearfully tells Eddy. "By my following this path inspired by you, I can do so and make the Village Rangers from my home as proud as my Great Nano! All I ask, is for you to help him…how you say…spread the word, yes?"<p>

Eddy knew better than to turn his back on someone in need. Especially when all they wish to do is be successful and feel a sense of belonging; things that sounded all too familiar to him.

"I'll do it." Eddy smirked, triggering loud applause from his fellow Eds and the Rangers. The former walked away, "C'mon, boys! Need to find a way to fit back into this thing."

"Let us spread the word, yes?" Rolf cheerfully put his hands together. "Rangers Jimmy and Sarah, you will bait recruits into the cul-de-sac by providing items and refreshments, yes?"

"Oh, boy! Like setting up a party!" Jimmy grabbed Sarah's hand and led her off-screen as she added, "That we can't join because we're the help!"

"Ranger Jonny, you and Ranger Plank will unearth substantial seating in preparation for the event!" Rolf placed his hand on Jonny's shoulder.

"Sure thing, Rolf!" Jonny saluted his superior. "But don't you think Plank would be a better help to the promotion stuff that you're having Ed, Edd, and Eddy do?"

"The Ed boys are knowledgeable and proficient in the matters of campaigning, Jonny the wood boy!" Rolf replied. "Now, seats, please! Thank you!"

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><p>Hours later, at the trailer park, May and Marie were sitting at the kitchen table giggling sinisterly about possibly yet another ill-fated attempt to gain the Eds' attention. Lee walked down the stairs and approached them with a suspicious facial expression.<p>

"At it again, huh?" Lee swung her hip sternly.

"No." May shook her head with a straight face.

"Maybe." Marie did the same.

Lee folded her arms, "I believe you for some reason, but I still don't trust you. Stay away from the cul-de-sac. Mom's upstairs asleep and I'm gonna run to the store real fast. And I mean it, you two. No funny crap!"

Lee left the trailer and drove off in the Kanker pick-up truck. May and Marie watched and frowned all the same.

"Ever since farm boy's shower scene with Lee, she's gone soft." Marie stated.

"I think the video of her dad is more to blame than that." May snorted.

"Nah! She would've gone back after a while." Marie claimed.

"Let's worry about her later." May suggested. "Right now, let's get a hold of those two tramps that seduced our men."

"No, we'll worry about her _now."_ Marie sneered. "As much as I hate to admit it, we still need Lee for every plan we make so we can even out the odds. Otherwise, our cutie-pies will get one over on us without really trying."

"She's changed, Marie." May pointed out. "She won't come back to the fold."

"Oh, she's changed, all right! But I'll bet its only skin deep." Marie interrupted. "Farm boy is using our men to take a military approach to his little guys-in-uniform brigade…tonight!"

"So?" May shrugged confused.

"So, that gives us the perfect chance, stupid!" Marie snickers. "If we trash everything he's worked for and mess him up real bad, he'll back off of Lee. And when he does, her heart's gonna break and she'll come back to the fold."

"Oh, I get it!" May snickered malevolently. "But we're gonna need some help to pull something like this. And I remember Kyle sayin' he's got himself a bigger group fresh out of juvie!"

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><p><strong>Did you know: Rolf's rival and friends names, "Soren", "Sigurd", "Chatrin", "Runar", and "Nicolai" are all Norwegian in origin. I learned from my old friend and colleague Easymac120 and the episode "No speak da Ed" that Rolf is actually Norwegian. Which is something I can't believe I missed seeing as how "Rolf" is a Norwegian name as well. On the subject of Rolf, how'd you like his backstory? I've taken inspiration from nearly every episode that features him prominently in addition to some that merely involves his mentioning things about his lineage. And I know it seems that the children sound very mature for their ages, but I believe in the old country, simple living and honest labor has a way of impacting a child's intellect and maturity-level. And the {} that you see during the flashbacks are actually ways to get you to see that the Norwegian characters are speaking in their own native language. <strong>

**"Urisade" is the species of bears, and if you recall in the fifth episode of the first season, Rolf mentioned that he killed a bear as a child to save his father and the village.**

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><p><strong>And yes, as you have probably already figured out, I have changed my mind about not doing the Gourd prequel after the series (due in part to all of the cool prequel movies and reboot films featuring origin stories that I have seen overtime). And I hope you don't have severely bad feelings about what I did with the Urban Rangers' uniforms! It's all part of the series!<strong>

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><p><strong>Will Rolf succeed in expanding his Urban Ranger squad? What role will Eddy's retired superhero alter-ego Deniro play in all this? And what is it about this second identity that made him so hesitant? What sinister plot do Marie and May have in store for Rolf? And if she were to find out about her sisters' immoral ambitions, will Lee do anything about it? Don't you dare miss the other half of Episode 13!<strong>

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><p><strong>Reminder: I'd like all fans of this story to PLEASE review every chapter they read (pm-ed reviews don't count)! That way, I can find you and read YOUR EEnE fics if you have any and if you don't and are just reading and favoriting for now, I'd like you to do so anyway so that I can possibly ask for advice and suggestions since I am a little…off my game.<strong>

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><p><strong>Spread the word! The Phoenix has risen! And he is here to finish the job! <strong>


	6. Be all you can Ed pt 2

**Phoenix's Note: **Man! Work is a killer! It took me forever to finally release the second half of this episode because I was so swamped with summer work and stuff! But I think I've kept you in enough suspense! Enjoy (and PLEASE review; NO pm-ed reviews!) this remarkably long, but nonetheless action-packed second half!

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><p>In Edd's basement lab (<strong>The things I do for Ed<strong>), Edd himself was typing an access code into the wall beside a sliding door (**In Like Ed**) while Eddy and Ed remained in the back and watched.

"Should the occasion ever resurface, I have stored away the device that served as the source of your relented power." Edd walked back out with a brown suitcase in his hand. When he opened it up, Eddy developed a tingling feeling upon once again gazing his eyes upon the thing that gave him great strength three years ago. It was a doorknob-sized, coin-like device with markings that resembled two backwards Ss (giving it the subtle appearance of a quarter).

"You can expect that given your current age and external physical physique, you'll be infinitely more powerful than you were three years prior." Edd explained.

"Looks like a relic from Professor Scam!" Ed picked up the device before Eddy took it from him.

"And worry not, my friend!" Edd continued. "The day the crisis with the, _ahem_, Gourd ended, Cody, Maggie, and myself have modified it so that we would not have to remove it by experimentation as we were forced to beforehand. Instead, as a failsafe, it will automatically detach itself from your body once an hour has passed. Exactly enough time to get through the Urban Rangers' sponsorship campaign tomorrow night."

"I dunno, man. I'm thinkin twice about all this." Eddy sighed. "I wanna help Rolf out and all but…I think if I do things this way, they're gonna turn out bad for all of us."

"What do you mean?" Ed asked, scratching his head.

"Don't tell me you guys don't remember." Eddy replied. "I might have pulled the cul-de-sac out of Hell when I had this thing on, but that didn't happen until Jonny did double time and wrecked it just to get to me. What if the same thing happens? If I get in the way of some major bad guy incident, I'll end up attractin' even badder bad guys."

"I do not believe that is a word, but I see your point." Edd responds. "Keep in mind, Eddy, this is merely a promotional campaign. I highly doubt that an incident that appears to be straight out of Ed's graphic novels will occur during this time. At least, not one out of our control. I can assure you, everything that will occur at the movement will be staged personally by yours truly."

Eddy shook his head in agreement with what his friend said and realized he was worried about nothing. Tomorrow night was going to be fine. Or so he thought. And hoped.

* * *

><p>Defying their elder sister's demands of staying away from the neighborhood, Marie and May were conversing with juvenile delinquent Kyle Campbell (<strong>An Ed with Destiny, Third Time's the Ed<strong>) on the matters of disrupting the Urban Ranger campaign tomorrow afterschool as a message to Rolf.

"Thought all you cared about was getting with Eddy and his pitiful amigos." Kyle replied.

"Watch your mouth!" May snorted.

"We told you!" Marie repeated, "We can't do that unless Lee is back on our side! We need every advantage we have against them and their friends and Lee is our biggest one. But she's too darn distracted by Farm boy's pecs to listen and realize her real feelings. So, to break her away from him, we need to break _him_! And the best way to do that is to screw up this big thing he's got planned tomorrow night; and we need _your _help doing it since you and your new crew are the closest thing to someone like Lee. So…have any ideas?"

"A few." Kyle folded his arms. "But we're gonna need some science nerds if we wanna get 'em done by the deadline tomorrow."

"That might be tough!" May pointed out. "Double D and the others are at his house, which has doubled techno-geek security! And Double D's cousin doesn't get back from out of town until tonight!"

"Tough nothin'!" Marie sneers sinisterly. "We've got the next best thing around the corner!"

Several minutes later, the three arrive at the house of intellectually elite student Harvey (**Get your Ed in the game, Hail to the Ed**), who responded to their standing in his doorway by slamming the door shut and attempting to run to his backyard with his other nerd friends, knocking over their chessboard and a vase in the process. Though they made it to the backyard, they are startled to find the three roughnecks standing right in front of them!

"How the heck did they do that?!" One of the nerds asked frightened.

"This is highly illogical…and scary!" Harvey began to sweat. He was so scared that he made the foolish mistake of throwing a punch at Marie, who effortlessly caught it before proceeding to crush his hand using her superior strength. As he kneeled in pain, he groaned, "Agh!"

"Listen up, Poindexter!" Marie grins sinisterly. "You, your friends over there, and your friends elsewhere are gonna make a few things for _our_ friends' party after school tomorrow. Kyle's got the blueprints, so all you have to do is make 'em real!"

"Rrr! Rrr! Rrr! Fine! Just let me go!" Harvey struggled to get free.

"Not till you get out your cell and call up the rest of your geeky construction unit!" Marie tightened her grip, successfully getting the comply she wanted out of Harvey.

* * *

><p>Later that night, in his living room, Rolf was relating the story of his village's rangers and his Urban Rangers to Jimmy, Sarah, Jonny, and Plank via an old hand-me-down book in his hand.<p>

"So you see Rangers, all that you have viewed in the Ranger Manual was rooted from centuries of Rolf's village's own ranger activities, yes?" Rolf grins proudly. "Since the day he sailed to reach the modern realm, Rolf has snipped the most traditional and important aspects from this, the Ranger Book of the Ancients, and freshly pasted them into the manual for each of you to study and abide by! Any questions?"

"Who cares if he said "Ranger" four times, Plank?" Jonny whispered. "It's not as weird as his saying his own name every few sentences!"

"Yes, Ranger Jimmy?" Rolf responded to Jimmy's raised hand.

"So, the badges, chores, and even the whole "save people from bullying" thing…"

"Stems from the long history of Rolf's village rangers and resides in this compact book!" Rolf continued to grin in pride.

"I don't get it!" Sarah scratched her head. "Shouldn't we have started with the whole "save people from bullying" thing?"

"We needn't not pursue that interest previously, she-who-has-minimal-badges Ranger Sarah girl!" Rolf replied. "Now, let us feast so that you will not need to burden your elders for supper when you depart, yes?"

As Rolf entered the kitchen, the young Rangers all looked at each other in disgust before they all stuffed their noses with plugs in order to avoid tasting the wild supper their leader was planning on preparing for them. As they reluctantly waited in their seats, the screen faded to black.

* * *

><p>In Mr. Penn's 7th period math money management class, The Eds, while paying attention to the namesake teacher, they waited in anticipation for tonight's campaign.<p>

"$21.83!" Eddy answered the questioned he was asked.

"Very Good, Mr. Gates!" Penn applauded. "I must admit, for someone who hates math, you're pretty good at it!"

Seconds later, the final bell rang and the students, as usual, didn't waste any time dashing out of the classroom and completely ignoring the teacher's homework issuing. Once outside, the Eds looked at one another excitedly,

"Invitations out?" Eddy asked Ed.

"Everyone should be coming, Eddy!" Ed confirmed with a military salute. "They don't call me the Ed of many talents for nothing!"

"No one calls you that!" Eddy scoffed.

"Says, you!" Ed retorted, slightly insulted.

"Double D?" Eddy asked.

"All has been properly arranged for your glorious, yet transitory return, Eddy." Edd placed his hand on Eddy's shoulder assuredly.

"Then let's get rolling, boys!" The Eds walked past the screen as it shifted to the sun in the bright sky; it then transitioned into the moon of the night sky.

In the junkyard, Kyle was sitting on top of the retro van (**Dawn of the Eds**) as he watched his eleven young delinquent underlings (all of whom were bigger than him), in a great display of strength and teamwork, tip over every last tower of scrap and trash in the area. Harvey and his eight nerd friends leaned against the retro van as they watched as well, reluctantly waiting to comply to their bullies' demands with regretful facial expressions. Once every tower was tipped, Kyle stood up and prepared to speak.

"You can thank me for the extra exercise opportunity later, boys!" Kyle shouted out to his delinquent cronies. "But now, butts to their posts! You know where you're supposed to be! Get there! All right, geek squad. Set 'em up!"

Harvey and his friends placed mysterious, technological cubes into each pile of junk before they stepped back some feet.

"It's done!" Harvey informed Kyle with a bitter tone of voice.

"Do something about your speech pattern, next time." Kyle called up Marie to tell her, "We're set over here."

"Good to know." Marie smirked as she and May looked on at the cul-de-sac from behind a house. The cul-de-sac was filled with green and black chairs from the sewer-hole down the street and the round dead-end portion had a large, curtained wooden stage with a podium on the front and a giant version of the updated Urban Ranger flag in the back. The seats were filled with many kids from J. Wooten High and other places in the town that were feasting on refreshments as they waited in anticipation for the campaign to begin. Twan and Caitlin sat in the front row, having obviously been persuaded into coming by Jimmy. Just then, Jimmy, Sarah, Plank (oddly, without Jonny), and Rolf himself (holding Plank) stepped on stage to begin.

"There they are!" May pointed to the Urban Rangers mischievously.

"Farm Boy and his uniformed animals are on the stage!" Marie said to Kyle.

"_All righty! Just stay on the line and tell me when they start!" _Kyle ordered on the other end.

* * *

><p>In his backyard, Eddy stared at the Coin of Deniro as his friends looked at him encouragingly. Smirking, he placed the coin on his bare chest under his shirt and it turned black before it slowly began to overtake his body with the synthetic, cloth-like suit it was made out to be.<p>

* * *

><p>In the cul-de-sac, introductions were already addressed and now the true speech was being uttered by Jimmy, as Rolf spoke in a way many of the kids would not understand and Sarah had a bit of an attitude underneath her fake smile, feeling this was a waste of time and that she could be at home watching her favorite show.<p>

"Now, we've taken notice that, as shocking as it seems, bullies are actually getting smarter and more reliant on material things." Jimmy continued. "Because of this, things are getting more serious than ever. Some kids are not even traumatized or just hospitalized now. They're suicidal. You've been requested to come because-"

Jimmy was suddenly cut off by a nearby booming noise. The crowd started muttering and mumbling as they looked around to find the source of the sound. Seconds later…

"RUN AWAY! IT WILL BEAT US!" Ed went running down the street paralleling the cul-de-sac's main street.

"ED, DON'T YOU DARE ABANDON ME!" Edd frantically followed Ed; his skinny legs made it difficult for him to catch up with Ed's musculature.

The crowd of kids began to get worried and expressed this by standing up and looking around. Suddenly, as fast as lightning (not really), an eight-foot-tall machine made to look like a stereotypical bullying jock appeared! It glanced in the direction Ed and Edd ran in before it turned its attention to the direction of the campaign, uttering a sinister mechanical laugh as it trudged towards them.

"AGH! OH MY GOD! AGH! AGH! AGH! AGH!" The many teens started screaming and dispersing in different directions, banging on the doors of the surrounding houses in an attempt to find refuge.

"WHAT THE HECK?!" Sarah bellowed in fear as she hid behind Jimmy, something that didn't usually happen.

"Rangers! We must implement a strategy to restore order and reduce calamity, yes?" Rolf pushed the two young rangers off of the stage to have them deal with the commotion.

"_Not_ yes!" Sarah pulls away from Rolf. "Do you not see what's going on here?! We need to make a break for it! And don't tell me to grow a pair! I'm a girl!"

"And I'm unequipped!" Jimmy added. "This was a campaign! We left our stuff at home!"

"What's that, Ranger Plank? Very well! Should you survive, you will receive the foolish nobility badge!" Rolf pretended to understand Plank before he threw him at the giant mechanical bully, which responded by eating him whole and laughing!

"YOU THREW PLANK AT THAT THING?! NOT COOL!" Twan shouted from the background.

"ARE YOU KIDDING, TWAN?!" Caitlin screamed hysterically in fear as she grabbed her boyfriend's shirt. "THAT BOARD WAS A CRUMB! WE'RE THE _REAL_ FOOD! WE GOTTA-"

Caitlin was interrupted by a zooming sound that originated from the sky. Everyone else followed suit. The bionic bully was the last to look up. Descending with great speed towards the ground was none other than him. The hero that saved the cul-de-sac three years ago. The champion that served as the genesis for the refreshed rangers.

"Deniro!" Jimmy glanced at the hero as he landed roughly on the pavement, creating a massive crack. He looked a lot like Snake-Eyes from the G.I. Joe movies, except where there was red, there was green. His eyes were also completely green, as was the outline of his six-pack and the two thin strips on the front of his legs. His lips were not visible.

"I don't believe it! It's really him!" Twan looked on at the hero in shock, having not seen him since The Battle of the Cul-de-sac.

"So, that's what he looks like! Awesome outfit! He's got a hot body!" Several girls muttered in the background.

"We might as well talk it out, 'cause you've got no chance of winning, pal!" Deniro tried to reason with the menacing machine, his voice deepened to keep some of the other kids from discovering his real identity. "Answer quick! Easy or tough way?"

"SHUT UP, NERD!" The bully swung at Deniro, who took the punch without distress despite the surrounding kids being afraid of what will happen next.

"Burial at the junkyard it is!" Using green energy, Deniro blasted the robot back some.

Angered, the bionic bully punched Deniro in the face three times; the first two had no effect while the last one had the effect of breaking the former's mechanical hand.

"Stupid piece of crap." Deniro shook his head from left to right in amusement.

"SHUT UP, NERD!" Further angered, the bully swung at Deniro again, but he caught its fist, pulled it towards him, and destroyed its head with a single punch; which rendered it obsolete and immobile. The entire area of kids cheered and rushed towards Deniro to thank him.

Still behind the house, Marie talked into her phone, "Show's over. Bring 'em out!"

* * *

><p>"You got it!" Kyle yelled out to Harvey, "Bring 'em online!"<p>

As all twenty-one teens (Harvey included) watched, Harvey pressed a button on a remote-like device and suddenly, each tipped-over junk-pile started to take the shape of a muscular humanoid.

* * *

><p>"They're gettin' 'em ready! Let's go!" Marie and May raced off-screen.<p>

Ed and Edd had now appeared on-screen, but unbeknownst to everyone (except for Deniro), they were pulling the uniformed Jonny and unscathed Plank out of the back of the bionic bully.

"_Admirable vocal performance, Jonny." _The whispering Edd patted Jonny's back. _"I'm also impressed by your prowess with controlling the Antagatron! Although, I apologize once again that you had to technically reprise the portrayal of a villain again."_

"_Are you kidding?! That was happenin'!" _Jonny whispered excitedly. _"If you ever need a favor like this again, put me at the top of the list!"_

"_What's it like being eaten, Plank?"_Ed asked the wooden board, but heard no response.

"That's nice to know, Miss Caitlin. But I don't want you to follow me. I would like you to _help them."_ Deniro pointed to Jimmy, Sarah, and Jonny, who raced on-screen next to them and picked himself up after he fell down. The three young rangers waved at the crowd. "They're basically carrying on a legacy I didn't realize I had. Helping guys like you, and hurting guys like Scrap McRusty back there. Not only am I not gonna be around forever, I can't be everywhere at once and I can't save and protect everyone. But you guys can. Help the Urban Rangers by becoming one. Stand up to the ones who give you crap. Protect the ones who are given crap. The way you felt like four minutes ago is how a lot of other kids feel most of the time. But that can change. All you have to do to start…is help them."

There were several moments of silence. The many teens were contemplating. The three young rangers had their fingers crossed. Edd and Deniro were looking on with hopes of their own. Ed was obliviously eating a bowl of Scottish-Haggis Gravy (**All Eds are off**).

Twan and Caitlin stepped forward with heavy sighs. The former uttering with a smile, "Where do we sign up?"

Jimmy smiled excitedly when his "Uncle and Aunt" decided to join the rangers. The rest of the crowd approached the group with questions of membership and smiles on the faces of Sarah and Jonny.

"What's that, Plank?" Jonny's smile faded when he looked all around the cul-de-sac. "That's a good question! Where is Rolf? Hey, Rolf!"

"Rolf? Rolf!" Jimmy noticed he was gone too and started walking around the cul-de-sac's dead end looking for him.

"There's no way he'd just walk off during something like this! He came up with it himself!" Sarah realized.

"Perhaps something happened while all of our attention was directed at Mr. Deniro." Edd suggested.

"Plank says he thinks that's exactly what happened!" Jonny translated.

"This is your chance, Rangers." Deniro spoke up, gaining everyone's attention. "Find your leader as a group so that you'll get the feel of what it's like helping others as a group."

"He's right!" Sarah stood on a crate to take charge. "Everybody break into groups of four and search every corner of this neighborhood until you find Rolf! Let's go! Let's go! Let's go! Move it!"

"_Meet me at my house so I can get this thing off and we can help them!" _Deniro whispered to Ed and Edd before he took to the skies. "GOOD-BYE, EVERYONE! SEE YOU SOONER OR-"

Deniro was cut off by an approaching zooming noise. He looked to his left and saw a group of figures racing in his direction in the night sky. The teens below followed suit.

"WHAT THE-AGH!" Deniro back-bended in the air before, to the shock and horror of everyone (even Deniro), seventeen humanoid androids composed of scrap and dirt from the junkyard flew passed him at great speed; the first two being used as transportation for Kyle and Harvey respectively!

"Cool!" Ed yelled amused. "Fighting machines with the distinct smell of my old chicken chair!"

Seconds later, Kyle's eleven cohorts raced in the direction of the androids and their leader via motorcycles, almost hitting several kids (including Ed and Edd).

One of them shouted, "Hurry up, you ugly dumbasses! Campbell wants us at farm boy's house before he sits down in it!"

Once the gang was out of sight, Deniro, Ed, and Edd looked at one another in surprise, "Campbell? Farm Boy's House?"

"Campbell! Should've guessed!" Deniro landed in front of Ed and Edd. The crowd of teens raced behind the three as well, forcing the hero to get back into character. "He kidnapped your friend to ruin this event!"

"I'm not so sure about your theory, Mr. Deniro." Edd strokes his chin hairs. "Sure enough, Kyle Campbell's malefactor tactics revolve around the utilization of unintelligent blasphemous ruffians, but not usually combat drones like the ones that have just passed. Of course, there was the time he assisted the Kankers Sisters and Alexander Frost in a convoluted plot to unleash chaos upon the cul-de-sac last season, but his role was just that. An assistant."

"From the sound of those so-called "stupid roughnecks", I'm paraphrasing; this Kyle Campbell seems like the ring leader." Deniro sighed and turned to the others, "Given how major the situation sounds, I'm gonna have to deal with this one myself. Some of you might be trained to handle one or two bullies, but not fighting machines."

"What?!" Sarah yelled outraged. "Our leader is in danger and you're telling us to just go home and that you'll make it better?!"

"Didn't tell you to go home, Miss Sarah." Deniro replied calmly. "There might be more thugs lurking around in the area and chances are, they work for Campbell. For all we know, at this very moment, they could be destroying property and hurting others as a diversion to keep someone like me from saving your leader. And like I said before, I can't be everywhere at once, but guys _can_. Which leads me to say, I stand corrected. _This_ is your chance! Help some. Stop others."

Another quick pause occurred before Twan spoke up, "Know what? Deniro's right! He can take the heavy stuff for now, but we'll have to do it ourselves later, anyway! I'm gonna go trash me some gangbangin' wannabes like he said! If you guys meant what you said about bein' rangers too, you'd grow a pair and join me!"

"Twan, wait! I'm going with you!" Caitlin ran after her boyfriend before most of the other teens did the same.

"Wait! We won't find anyone all bunched up like that! We gotta split up, gang!" Jonny chased after the mob.

"Jonny, wait up!" Sarah pursued her colleague.

"Sarah, we still need to get weapons and tools!" Jimmy was the last to vacate the cul-de-sac, leaving Deniro, Ed, and Edd.

"A performance worthy of an academy award indeed, Eddy." Edd praised Deniro's skill with staying in-character and inspiring others.

"Thanks, but we got _way_ bigger problems, now!" Deniro spoke, "Like you said, there's no way in Hell Campbell orchestrated this himself. He's smart, but he's got no motivation for this. He's all about stealing and manipulating. Kidnapping and creating a panic is more the Kankers' thing. We need to find out-"

Deniro stopped speaking the instant he mentioned the notorious villainess trinity that dwelled in a trailer at Park n Flush. The boys then came to the correct conclusion that Kyle's partner(s)-in-crime was in fact, "THE KANKER SISTERS!"

"They must not understand the concept of "quit while your stupidly behind"!" Deniro folded his arms.

"It's strange, though." Edd stroked his chin hairs in deep thought again. "Their goals typically center on obtaining our affection via lowly means. How could they do such a thing through absconding with Rolf?"

"We'll ask when we save him! Now, we gotta save him!" Deniro then stated, "Chances are, those rustbuckets are mercenaries meant to deal with me since I'm the biggest threat here, so I'm gonna draw them out to fight me while you guys get in the house to get Rolf! Ed, you gotta pull out the stops against Kyle's pals. They're no joke!"

"Be mindful, my friend. You have merely forty minutes before the coin detaches itself from your body." Edd reminded.

"Shouldn't take long to make scrap out of those stupid machines, Sockhead. Now, let's move!" Deniro flew up into the sky and disappeared out of his friends' sights.

* * *

><p>In his own room, a bloodied and bruised Rolf was tied to a chair while Marie repeatedly assaulted him with a sadistic grin on her face. She knocked him on the floor before an equally sadistic May picked him back up.<p>

"Had enough, Kazek?" Marie cracked her knuckles.

"Foolish Kanker girl!" Rolf spat blood on the floor. "The passion Rolf feels for your more pleasant-appearing sibling is far stronger than your hairy fists!"

Marie angrily grabbed Rolf's neck, "It hasn't even been half an hour and this is already getting old! Now, we gotta get seriously serious! You're gonna dump Lee! She's gonna come back to us! And if you tell anyone about this, we'll turn your chicken, cow, and pig population into a banquet breakfast for school next Monday! And we'll make you watch…and make Lee eat!"

* * *

><p>Downstairs, while Kyle was chowing down on the Kazek family's bizarre fishsticks (<strong>Button yer Ed<strong>) in the kitchen, five of his cronies, all armed with crowbars and handguns, were guarding the living room and looking out the windows, anticipating the eventual arrival of their enemies. They had Harvey sitting on one of the couches as he held his remote-control-like device.

"Hey, Kyle! We got somethin'!" One of the thugs that was staring out the window spotted Deniro hovering over the Kazek family home, waiting for them to release the androids Harvey and his team invented earlier.

Kyle looked out the window and told Harvey, "Send the greeting committee! By the way, want a fishstick? They look weird, but they taste awesome."

"No thanks!" Harvey regretfully pressed a button that activated the junkyard androids!

All seventeen junkyard androids flew out of Rolf's cellar-basement (**Run for your Ed**) and as everyone intended, attacked Deniro, some shooting spiked metallic balls at him like machine-guns while others came at him with thick steel cables as whips!

The aerial battle was definitely in Deniro's favor, due to his superior suit power and sharpened fighting skills. Two droids, one with metallic balls and the other with whips, attacked him with said weapons, but he performed a swift aerial back-step and made them shoot/slash each other to pieces that then descended below. Four droids attacked him next. He caught the arm of one with whips and punched a hole through another with whips before he crushed them together, causing them to plummet to the ground as the two before them did. Deniro then ducked to avoid being shot at by a metallic ball before he blasted its head off, caught the whip of the last of the four, pulled it towards him, and punched its head off. Six then came at him. He shot one with metallic balls out of the sky when it tried to attack him from above. He then blasted one that tried unsuccessfully to whip him. He ducked to avoid the punch/shoot combo of another droid and destroyed it with a roundhouse kick that broke it in half before he punch/destroyed another with whips just before it struck him. Deniro proceeds to slice another droid vertically in half before literally slapping the smallest of the punch into the last five drones, though not destroying them.

* * *

><p>Meanwhile, in the midst of this "battle", Ed and Edd were using a large shrub as cover while they moved and settled next to Rolf's house. The latter peeked through a hole to see if he was correct about the ruffians expecting <em>their<em> arrival as well.

"It's remarkable how intelligent troublemakers are when it comes to their cause and yet so obliviously naïve when they are bested in these regards." Edd sighed.

"Fear not, Double D!" Ed grabbed Edd and stuffed him into the back of his shirt! "For I, Ed, shall best our naïve troublemakers by tunneling underground and scaring them into giving us Rolf!"

"Tunnel?! No Ed, wait! WAIT! NOT GOOD!" Edd's pleas fell on deaf ears as Ed burrowed through the ground, showing a big lump of moving dirt that went unnoticed by the thugs. Once underneath Rolf's house, to the shock and surprise of Harvey, Kyle, and the other thugs, Ed and Edd emerged from the floor, leaving a big hole at the center of the floor.

"I hate parties that I'm not invited to!" Ed dropped Edd out of his shirt before the latter looked at, "Harvey?"

"Knight?" Harvey recognized Edd.

"Well, that most certainly explains the appearance of the androids." Edd deduced. "Blackmail?"

"Yeah. You shouldn't have came even though I'm not complaining because I know you would have anyway!" Harvey added. "Your friend out there beating the machines is about to make things worse for himself! And…you guys didn't show up with any back-up? Worst heroes ever!"

"All right, losers! Time to shut up and get shot! Boys?" Kyle's five cronies cocked their guns and prepared to shoot at the two Eds!

"No lead for me! I'm on an iron diet!" Ed took off his eyebrow and spun it around like a fan. Before long, the eyebrow started to generate a powerful wind that sucked Harvey and all of the ruffians (Kyle included) and parts of Rolf's wall and furniture into a tornado-like funnel! Ed then threw the "funnel" down the hole he and Edd came through before all seven teenagers burst like a volcano out of the first hole Ed made before arriving in the house! "Boy, they sure like kissing the ground, huh Double D? OW!"

"ED!" Edd caught Ed when he was suddenly shot in the right shoulder from behind by one of the six remaining members of Kyle's gang, who were guarding the second floor! The six pointed their guns at the two Eds after they surrounded them. Edd took off his hat, revealing his long black hair (which had grown back since episode 9), and used it to stop the bleeding.

"Don't bother, Knight!" One of the thugs pointed the gun at Edd's own shoulder. "You'll be hurtin' just as bad in a sec!"

"DAH!" The thugs threw the two helpless Eds against the wall with the intent to injure (not kill since they're working for the Kankers) them.

* * *

><p>Outside, Deniro had just now destroyed the rest of the droids and turned his attention to the inside of the Kazek house. Noticing that his friends were in danger via the window, he descended to assist.<p>

"Those guys without me." He sighed. But as he turned his back, a phenomenon occurred. The parts of all seventeen droids started to move and attach to each other. Slowly turning back around, he saw, to his shock and horror, that the parts have become three entirely new and much more powerful androids! The middle one was the shortest one and had a spiked whip extending from each of its two wrists. The one on the left was the largest one and had transformable guns for arms. The one on the right was the medium-sized one that had spiked-balls on the end of the chains that extended from the wrist of its own two arms!

"You've gotta be freakin' kiddin' me!" Deniro started to race towards the house, but the largest droid shot at him, forcing him to dodge and fly up into the night sky, where it and the other two drones chased him!

* * *

><p>Inside Rolf's house…<p>

"Marie and May said they'll nurse you two momma's boys back to health when we're done with you!" The lead thug snickered. Just as he and his friends started to pull their respective triggers…

"OW!" A girl with a familiar outfit and long red hair covering her face suddenly appeared and double-kicked the lead thug away. She then performed a back-flip as she kicked him through the ceiling and into Rolf's room, provoking Marie and May to take matters into their own hands and deal with the problem downstairs!

The girl twisted one of the thug's arms back and knocked him out with a punch to the back of the head! Next, when one more thug managed to grab her from behind, followed by the other three, she bounced off of the wall with her legs and managed to make them all fall to the floor. One thug managed to land two punches on the girl, but she remained undaunted and caught his kick before slamming his leg onto her thigh, breaking it! She then tackled two of the next coming thugs onto the ground and smashed their heads together when they tried to get up and attack her. Finally, the last thug attempted to run up behind her, but she turned around, grabbed and squeezed his groin until a cracking noise could be heard, and tossed him upwards into the ceiling, knocking him out and ending the struggle!

"How is he?" The girl walked towards Edd, who wasted no time picking out the bullet wound with thin tweezers and stopping the bleeding with his hat while the girl was fighting.

"He should be fine. The bullet missed his-_gasp_!" Edd failed to finish his sentence when the girl pulled her long hair back and revealed that she was really, "Lee?!"

"Not surprised in the least by your reaction." Lee smirked.

"But I'm surprised by your new appearance to say the least!" Edd briefly blushed, but remembered she was a Kanker and demanded to know, "Why did you help us? I'm inclined to thank you, but I must learn if whether or not you have an ulterior motive!"

"I get you don't trust me, Double D. I've done horrible things. Unforgiving things." Lee replied. "But that doesn't matter now. So to answer your question, because we have a common goal and a common enemy."

"That you and Ed consecutively conquered." Edd stood up, surprised by Lee's brief speech. He would understandably believe this was an elaborate act, but his kind heart and tendency to forgive and forget said otherwise.

"Didn't mean them. _Or_ Kyle!" Lee's attention shifted to the other side of the room, where Marie and May stood with furious facial expressions. Edd then observed the situation and realized that Lee and her sisters are now on opposing sides. "All this for some boys that can't even stand looking at you! What was your plan this time? Turn me and Rolf against each other? Use the robots that Eddy's fightin' with to wreck the cul-de-sac until they agree to go out with us? Assuming I recover from a broken heart?"

"You're sick, Lee!" May tried to reason. "We flunked so much that it caused you to repapse into a soft, weak girly-girl!"

"It's _relapse_, stupid!" Marie raised her fist at Lee. "Just what do you think you're doin' here, Lee? I'm doin' this for you! You! And what're you doin' this for? Farm Boy? You shake your ass for him under the sheets and suddenly you think he wants you! Time to wake up!"

"Got that right! You're my sisters and I love you both no matter what! But because you _still _don't get, I don't get to choose what I want to do in these situations anymore! As long as you two keep this crap up, I'm gonna have to _mess_ you up!" Lee put up her fists before her sisters angrily lunged at her!

* * *

><p>Outside, Deniro continued his battle with the giant droids.<p>

"Man, their tough! I gotta use the divide-and-conquer strategy!" Deniro flew up in the air again before being pursued by the small and medium-sized drones. "Don't blink!" Deniro charged energy into his hands and clapped his hands together, creating a bright light that fried the two drones' optic sensors and caused them to descend hard onto the ground!

"All right, big fella! Let's spar!" Deniro engaged the largest drone, who shot its massive spiked balls at him before he dodged all seven of them.

He then punched the robot in the abdomen, but it had no affect beyond scratching it! He then dodged its next spiked ball by flying up behind it and attempted to kick it down in the back of the head, but like before, there was no affect beyond a scratch!

"Like fightin' a mountain! Hyah!" While still levitating, Deniro sweep-kicked the large machine down and kicked it down the street before flying up in the air once more.

The large drone then performed a rapid-fire type attack on Deniro while he was in the air, forcing the hero to once again dodge as many of the larger, more powerful spiked-balls as he could.

"THAT'S IT!" Deniro mimicked the drone's tactic by swiftly shooting random energy blasts at each spiked ball before any of them could hit him, creating multiple explosions and smoke as a result.

After a few seconds of silence and stillness, the large drone suddenly appeared in the smoke, struck the surprised Deniro across the face, knocked him down towards the ground, and shot one more spiked-ball at him. Deniro recovered, destroyed the ball, and then thought to himself, "_More force_! That last ball was falling so fast that if it hit me, I'd be dead already! That's what I'll do to that thing!"

Deniro charged a large amount of energy in his fists and super-sped towards the large drone. It fired at him three times, but he went right through each ball and thanks to the extra strength provided by the energy on his fists, went right through the machine, causing it to descend towards the ground. To make sure it can't reform, he destroyed its remains.

"Oh, good. They can see me." Descending to the ground, Deniro stared down the medium-sized drone for a few seconds. Just before it could fire its chained-spikes at him, he super-sped over to it and knocked it onto the ground.

"MURDER!" The smallest of the drones attempted to slash and cut Deniro, but the young hero dodged each attack. Deniro then tried using various martial arts techniques, from chain-punching, to punching/parrying, and even a few chops, but could not hit the machine.

"This one's real good!" Deniro dodged the whip, but was almost struck by the medium drone's chain ball weapons. The two machines attempted to attack together, but Deniro was ready for them. Or so he thought. The medium-one sped past him just as he was forced to dodge the smaller-one's whips.

"AGH! OW!" The medium-drone knee-kicked Deniro in the back before the smaller one punched him in the stomach. The medium one then threw the young hero down the street, but he maneuvered himself into flying position and raced towards them at super-speed. Despite their having numbers on their side, Deniro managed to use his fighting skills and energy blasts to knock them all down! He then threw the medium-one down the street as payback, but with his back being turned, the smaller one managed to slash the kid's back with its spiked whips, wrap him up, and smash him onto the ground! Next, the medium sized one fired its chained spiked-balls at him and managed to cause him further distress and pain!

His friends in danger. One captured. Himself unable to gain an advantage. The boy started to feel like that same defenseless kid he was many years ago. But he couldn't. He wouldn't go back to that. To do what he promised he would in regards to his friends, he explored his only remaining option. Deniro thought, _"I use it now, the suit will pop off and I don't even know if it's gonna work! Gotta do it though! Gotta!"_

"MURDER!" The smaller-one bellowed.

"HUNDRED…BLAST! AGGGGGGGGGH!" Deniro stood up swiftly, his entire body covered with green energy that was powerful enough to shatter the hold the drones has on him! "RRRRRR!"

The drones stepped back in a manner that resembled fear. With unparalleled speed and strength combined with his flight and fighting capabilities, Deniro kicked a body-sized hole through the medium-sized robot and blew it to smithereens! He then easily dodged the other drone's whips and flew around it at such a speed that it forced the machine upwards as if carried by a tornado! He then punched a hole through the robot's chest, flew up under it, and blasted it to smithereens just like the others, ending the long fight!

As he predicted, the use of so much energy at once resulted in his suit leaving his body and re-transforming into the coin-like device it once was; turning Deniro back into Eddy Gates once again.

"Ow!" Eddy picked up the coin and raced towards Rolf's house up the street despite sustaining pain from his entire superhero experience.

* * *

><p>In Rolf's house, a slightly scratched-up and bloody-lipped Lee was fighting the noticeably bruised Marie and May and proved to be a match for their combined efforts, having gained extra strength from working on Rolf's farm for quite some weeks. Eddy walked in just in time to see May throw Lee over a fallen-back couch before the latter grappled onto the edge and regained her footing. When May lunged at her, Lee grabbed her by one of her pigtails and slammedthrew her against the wall behind her (Lee). Lee then jumped over Marie when she tried to land a flying punch on her before the former palm-punched the latter into May!

"What was that about me gettin' soft?" Lee mocked her sisters' earlier comment.

In shock and confusion, Eddy kneeled down to the level of his fellow Eds and whispered, _"Am I as dumb as those robots, or is that hot redheaded girl Lee Kanker that's kickin' her own sisters' asses?!"_

"You are absolutely correct, Eddy! But the rest of the story escapes you." Edd replied.

"And Ed is bleeding no more, Eddy!" Ed took off Edd's hat off of his shoulder, which had stopped bleeding as he said.

Back to the fight, Marie and May were standing on opposite sides of Lee, staring her down and preparing to charge. They lunged at her simultaneously before she grabbed them by their respective necks and tossed them on opposite sides of the room. Marie swung at Lee twice, but she ducked the first, caught the second, and elbowed her across the face and onto the floor. Lee then caught May's fist, backhanded her across the face, flipped her over her shoulder, and kicked her like a soccer ball across the room. Marie managed to sucker-punch Lee, but when she swung again, the redhead ducked, punched her younger sister in the stomach, and elbowed her on the back. When May tried to run up on her oldest sister, the latter tossed Marie into her.

"BACKSTABBING PIECE OF-!" May lunged at Lee once again, but the latter side-stepped, grabbed her by the back of her shirt, swung her around three times, and forced her head through the wall, knocking her unconscious.

"Enough, Marie! I'm sick of this!" Lee turned to Marie as she gently placed May on the couch.

"Enough nothin'! I'm just gettin' warmed up and you know it!" Marie cracked her knuckles, intent on no longer holding back simply because her sister was her opponent this time around. "I tried to get you to wake up and see that your thing with Farmer John upstairs was just a stupid schoolgirl crush, but it's freakin' obvious he got too far into your head for talk to work! Now, I'm gonna hafta beat 'im _outta_ you!"

"And I'm gonna hafta _beat_ some sense _into_ you!" Lee cracked her own knuckles.

Lee and Marie's subsequent fight was brief, but brutal. Lee swung at Marie twice, but the latter blocked the first, grabbed the second, punched her older sister across the face, and poked her in the left eye. Taking advantage of this, Marie grabbed Lee's neck and slammed her against Rolf's small-screened TV set (**Knock Knock who's Ed?**), shattering it. Before Marie could poke Lee's other eye shut, the latter surprised her by violently pulling her ponytail and head-butting her afterwards. Enraged more than ever, Marie managed to strike Lee again, but the latter quickly grabbed onto her arm, twisted it backwards, and bashed her head against the broken TV set. Marie broke free and threw two punches and a knee-kick at Lee, but she forearm-blocked both the punches and used her shin to block the knee-kick. Lee proceeded to respectively duck and block the next two punches before she managed to land three good hits to Marie's face, breaking her nose. The elder sister then blocked the middle one's haymaker, punched her in the gut, and delivered an uppercut to her face that sent her back some inches.

"Grunt all you want, this hurts me _way_ more!" Lee grabbed Marie's ponytail again and despite the latter's efforts to force the former's arm off, the redhead further worsened the blue-head's nose by striking it three more times. Marie managed to block the fourth and fifth ones, but not the sixth one. Getting her ponytail free at last, Marie landed another good punch to Lee's face, but failed to do so again when her elder sister blocked it, bashed her (Marie's) head onto her (Lee's) thigh and against the damaged TV set afterwards, and finally, ended the fight by picking her up and slamming her onto the floor.

Marie tried to get back up, but her injuries kept her from doing so. Instead, she settled for uttering, "Nothing's gonna keep me from him. Not even you. You wanna make things personal, you better be ready to take the heat."

Not wanting to hit her again, Lee reached off-screen cartoon-style and tasered Marie into unconsciousness. Lee looked up and was shocked to see Eddy for the first time in what felt like a while. He stared at her in astonishment, as his instincts informed him that all through the verbal and physical fight with her sisters, Lee Kanker had changed into someone else. Someone different. Someone…to him…mysterious. For some reason, she was no longer the sinister, obsessive girl he once knew. And for this reason…inexplicably…he no longer harbored a surfacing hatred for her. Lee in turn stared at Eddy for a little bit, and she still had lingering feelings for him.

"Rolf!" Remembering what she was fighting for, Lee started to run upstairs, but Eddy zipped in front of her, "Uh…Lee? We'll take care of Stretch. You gotta get your sisters out before they wake up and his parents come home."

"But-" Lee started, feeling strongly that Rolf needed her.

"Eddy is quite correct, Lee." Edd politely interrupted. "You must gather your siblings and vacate the premises immediately. We will escort Rolf to the Urban Rangers so that they may tend to whatever torturous injuries Marie and May inflicted on him."

"And we will personally see to it that Rolf calls his redheaded gravy-cake in the morning!" Ed added.

Reluctantly, Lee grabbed Marie and May's unconscious bodies and before she ran out the door, she looked back at the three Eds and for once in her life said, "Thank you."

* * *

><p>Upstairs, The Eds raced into Rolf's room, but found that he had already broken free of his restraints and was now drinking an unknown pink liquid in a jug underneath his bed.<p>

"Uh…Rolf?" Eddy pointed his finger up.

"Rejuvenation nectar! From a rare plant in Rolf's village that he had grown in his own soil, yes?" Rolf grinned despite his injuries and being well-aware of the fact that the first floor of his house had just been destroyed.

"We need a story, Rolf! Or else you're gonna need _new_ new butt!" Ed suggested, "Oh! Oh! Oh! We can say your house was ransacked by cultists from your village looking for something sacred you didn't know you-"

"—Or we could reveal the truth." Edd closed Ed's mouth. "Unintelligent brutes caused exceptional damage to your dwelling and decided to go one step further and proceed to kidnap and physically assault you and Harvey Mann. The evidence is on the floor, the first floor to be detailed, in the form of forcibly relented handguns."

"I'd say while we're at it, tell 'em the Kankers engineered the whole thing." Eddy genuinely supported, "But that shortlist would include Lee and somethin' tells me they won't buy her story about her goin' from demon to angel and clobbering her sisters to save her boyfriend! And don't worry about that by the way, Rolfie. Your secret's safe with us. Least now we know what changed her. Or _who_."

Rolf sighed relieved and changed the subject, "Speak to Rolf, Ed Boys. What became of his Urban Ranger Campaign in his absence?"

"Oh no! I forgot! Sarah was out this late on a school night! My mom's gonna kill me!" Ed raced out.

"Ed wait! We must remain here to see Rolf through his residential post-apocalyptic experience!" Edd pursued Ed.

"Oh, no! You're not leavin' me to clean up that mess downstairs!" Eddy chased after Edd.

"Why do you evade Rolf's question, Ed Boys?" Rolf chased the Eds out the door and onto the street before the screen faded to black.

* * *

><p>The next morning, Edd was allowing his coffee and oatmeal to cool while he checked for results from the news reports he recorded two days ago. Fast-forwarding through three recordings, Edd found nothing. On the fourth one, however, he found what he was searching for and clicked rewind and then play.<p>

"_In other news, young entrepreneur Cletus Howard and his fiancé Tara Horton were placed in protective custody after a previously unidentified group of costumed men broke into his home and aggressively blackmailed him into handing over $21 million or except the fate of being tortured and killed along with his fiancé." _Said reporter Neil Ritz (**Don't Push Your Ed**). _"The fact that I said the group of men were __previously__ unidentified means that the men have been identified. Mr. Howard confessed that he tried to get in a scuffle with one of the men when they struck Ms. Horton and knocked the man unconscious with a vase to the head. The surveillance cameras revealed that water washed away a form of concealing make-up on the man's neck, revealing what is believed to be a tattoo of a red skull-in-crossbones. That means, based on the nature of the situation, Mr. Howard's oppressors were none other than…The Death Shades! A ruthless terro-"_

Edd clicked the TV off with nothing less than a serious facial expression. He called up Eddy and uttered, "I have become aware of their next move, old friend."

**End of Episode 13**

* * *

><p><strong>Did you know: "The Battle of The Cul-de-sac" (mentioned by Twan) is the name of the event that the other characters have referred to constantly as the "Gourd Incident".<strong>

**Edd's "Antagatron" was named for the term "Antagonist" (as bullies _are_ antagonists to those smaller and weaker than them) and "Tron", a term that implied the presence of machines.**

**Deniro's (Eddy's) technique "Hundred Blast" is a reference to the one-hundred dollar bill (Deniro himself being a reference to money given that his name literally means "Money" in Spanish and Eddy being known for his fascination with money) and one inspired the Kao-Kin technique used by Goku in Dragon Ball Z (I wanted to continue the tradition of having cartoons randomly parody movies and other TV shows).**

**"Cletus Howard" is named for Jono Howard, a writer on Ed Edd n Eddy who is also, along with Mike Kubat, a close worker and friend of Danny Antonucci.**

**"Tara Horton", Cletus' fiancé, is named after "Tara Strong", my ideal voice actress for Tori (Nazz's cousin and Eddy's ex-girlfriend), and "Grace Horton", a co-worker and friend of mine.**

* * *

><p><strong>Phoenix's note: By the way, I hope you don't think I went off-plot with the whole superhero-android spectacle like I thought I myself did at first. This episode was about Rolf and the Urban Rangers in more ways than one. It was Rolf's Urban Ranger campaign and the climax of this second half involved finding and rescuing him. Understand? And sorry again for the LONG update, fans. But as much as I love writing and EEnE, certain things in life have to come first. But let's try to forget that and talk more about this season and what you should expect! The kids will encounter a leader of The Death Shades again next episode, which means more action and suspense. Also occurring next episode, the result of the Urban Rangers expansion effort will be revealed and Eddy and Nazz's relationship will be tested...fiercely. As for the remainder of the season, Lee will continue to interfere with May and Marie's plans while trying to get closer to Rolf, who wishes to tell his friends about his relationship (save for the Eds), but is fearful of their reaction to both it and her. An enemy from Season 1 returns with a plan to literally rip the cul-de-sac apart, while the Eds and their friends continue to deal with The shades. Relationships between characters (other than Eddy and Nazz's) will be at stake and the backgrounds of several other characters will be revealed. More romances will blossom, creating potential problems in the future. Sound interesting? Well, stay tuned!<strong>

* * *

><p><strong>Title Reference- Be all you can Be<strong>

**Acknowledging the reference- Several years ago, this was the slogan for U.S. Army recruitment (something I enjoyed seeing on commercials when I was a kid), being that way for at least twenty years. This is basically in the same vein as the purpose of the episode: to get kids to join the Urban Rangers and fight for others just like the Army (to this very day still of course) wishes to get people to join and fight for their country. **


End file.
